


Revan's Cynosure

by geminiangel619, LadyIce



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Dark Rey, F/M, Gen, I suck at tags, Lots of Angst, Love/Hate, Reylo - Freeform, Seduction to the Dark Side, Slow Burn, Star-crossed, Wait for it, a little bit of smut, swim in the angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-17 19:05:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 76,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5882113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geminiangel619/pseuds/geminiangel619, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyIce/pseuds/LadyIce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren and Rey are hunting down an ancient Force relic. Their destinies are intertwined together due to their Force bond, but they eventually discover there's more to their relationship than that. Will Rey bring Kylo back to the Light or will she be seduced by the Dark Side? Or are good and evil so easily defined? Discover how evil isn't born, it's made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It had been over a year that they had been chasing down hints, rumors and even legends. Many had heard of the relic, but no one knew the precise location, only whispers of where it might be or if it even existed. One person said they had heard of it, another being said they knew someone that had seen it at one time, another said they were told by a Jedi themselves that it never existed. Stories upon conjecture led to piecing together everything they had to bring Rey to the Outer Rim planet of Maris III, a lush jungle covered planet where she hoped to find what she was looking for.

Rey used her lightsaber to cut through the thick foliage, cursing under her breath at the oppressive humidity in the jungle. It was thick and the smell altered between the rot of undergrowth and the fragrance of flowers in the air. It was overall unpleasant and Rey hoped it wouldn’t be much longer until she reached her goal. After landing she was lucky enough to find a settlement where a few locals agreed to take her to where they believed the temple was located, at least the edge of it. They would not accompany her into the jungle, as they were too superstitious regarding the relic, scared of it, or both. She would have welcomed the assistance of a guide, but there did seem to be a rudimentary path she was following, though it hadn’t seen footsteps in a long time. 

Finding a stump that seemed would be somewhat comfortable to sit on, Rey stopped to rest for a moment. Everything was moving so fast. It felt like just moments ago she had been an orphan on arid Jakku and now she was part of the Resistance, fighting against the First Order and Supreme Leader Snoke. She still wasn’t entirely sure why she was there, except that she had nowhere else to be and finally felt at home among her peers in the Resistance. Her life on Jakku was over and she was where she was supposed to be or she wouldn’t be there. She gathered her thoughts to focus back on her mission and started back on her trek through the dense jungle.

After proceeding for awhile, Rey felt the hair on the back of her neck start to rise and she came to a stop. Looking around slowly, she peered between the purple vines that hung all around her, twisting and turning through the white barked trees. She peered around large green leaves with pink streaks in the middle. It felt like she was being watched, no, tracked. Ready for whatever might come, she brought her lightsaber up. Was a predatory beast was following her? The jungle had to be full of unknown dangers looking for small human snacks. Shaking her head, she tried to clear her mind of the fear. Using the Force to reach out, she tried to see if she felt anything. She did not. Sighing, she didn’t even know what she was even looking for. Her skills were still so basic, so unhoned. Having no one to train her, anything she did was of her own accord. She had been able to do a few basic things, move and levitate small objects, things of that nature. Finn had found a lightsaber training device on the Falcon that she used to try and train with the lightsaber she had also found there, an unbelievable stroke of fortune. While going through some crates in a hold, she opened one that had some robes on the top. When she took them out, a lightsaber hilt fell out. It was an astounding find and to add to her disbelief, it worked. It was that very lightsaber she was using to cut her way through the jungle now.

The relic had been constructed by Revan, one of the most powerful Jedi and Sith Lords of all time. Revan was first a Jedi, then a Sith then redeemed himself as a Jedi again. Even his bizarre death was split between the Light and the Dark Side before he finally became One with the Force. He built the relic while a Sith, but he still had remnants of the Light within him, however faint they might have been. Because he had both the Light and the Dark Side within him, the relic could be used by a Force user of either Side. However, Revan’s Cynosure was especially powerful for someone with both the Light and Dark Side within them. Someone like Revan. Someone like Kylo Ren.

General Organa loved her son, but she was no fool when it came to acknowledging how dangerous he was. She knew the Resistance had to find the relic before he did and brought such a powerful tool to Supreme Leader Snoke and the First Order. They had to recover the relic before Kylo or his power could be increased to levels incomprehensible and devastating to the Resistance. Rey only hoped she would find it before him and for all they knew, she could be on the entirely wrong planet.

Rey jumped back slightly as something small ran across her foot, cursing herself for being so startled by something so small. Certainly she was getting tired of cutting through the dense tangle of vines and other plants but there seemed to be no end in sight. Pausing, she sighed, but as she did, she had that same feeling that something, or someone, was tracking her every move. It was unnerving, especially in the confines of the jungle with little light making it through the canopy. It wasn’t possible that someone was following her. No one but the locals knew she was even here beyond General Organa. She would almost prefer a creature to a human. Well, maybe. That all depends on the size of the creature in question. Rey had seen her share of creatures she didn’t care to see again.

Continuing on for what seemed an endless amount of time, the foliage finally began to thin out and then a clearing emerged. The canopy still loomed overhead, but the trees retreated, leaving a small area with only the undergrowth and some vines snaking through the leaves. Right in the middle was a cellar type door. A random door on the ground in the middle of a jungle on an Outer Rim planet. Rey laughed in spite of herself. It did sound like the sort of thing you would hear in a myth. She shrugged and grabbed the door handle. It did not open. She pulled harder to no avail. Frustrated, she took a few swipes at the door with her lightsaber, but it did not even leave a mark on the door. Sitting down on the door, she poked at some moss with the toe of her shoe.

The Force. Of course. Use the Force. How better to keep a Force relic protected that with a door you must use the Force to open? She excitedly stood up, facing the door. Waving her hand in front of the door, she said, “Open.” Nothing happened. She tried again and once again, nothing happened. Angry, she kicked the door, achieving nothing but further frustration and a sore foot. Collecting herself and her thoughts, she tried to clear her mind. She focused on the door, thinking, “Open.” Concentrating as hard as she could, she felt like she was about to burst when the door finally sprung open. She looked down at a stairway leading into a dark corridor. “This is what I’m here for,” she thought, and proceeded down the stairs.

The temperature began to drop immediately. The corridor was about six and half foot tall and maybe four feet wide, not large but not so small that Rey felt too confined. Surprisingly, it was completely dry. Coming from a desert climate, wet and slimy environs were not her favorite thing so she was relieved to find the corridor free of such things. It was completely dark so she used her lightsaber to light the way. The walls were smooth light brown marble like stone, devoid of any markings. She was making good progress until she literally ran into a wall that seemingly appeared right in front of her. She grunted as she hit it.

The wall completely blocked the corridor. It was as if she reached the end of it, but that couldn't be possible, could it? She hadn’t found anything yet. There couldn’t be a cellar in the middle of the jungle with an empty hallway. While the whole mission didn’t make total sense and that certainly made less sense. Maybe this was another Force trial? She cleared her mind again, focused determinedly and thought, “Open.” Nothing happened. She thought move, clear, even break. Nothing worked. Leaning back against the wall, she wondered what was she missing. Her lightsaber nicked the wall a bit and where it did, the wall started to glow. Rey stared at it. As she looked closer, she noticed a pattern etched into the wall. She touched her lightsaber to another part of the pattern and it began to glow, as well. She took her lightsaber and traced over the entire pattern and it glowed furiously, culminating in a bright light and then the wall disappeared. Not a Force trial, but the lightsaber is the preferred weapon of a Jedi or Sith. Or an aspiring one, depending on where one might be on their path.

She wondered if there would be any further trials and also wondered if Revan put these trials in place or if another who had possessed the Cynosure did. They clearly did not want it falling into the hands of someone who wasn’t Force sensitive. The first two trials had been fairly simple, Rey figured, or she wouldn’t have been able to solve them. She was curious as to why they weren’t more difficult or if the strength of the seeker wasn’t of any concern to the person who placed the trials, just that they were a user of the Force.

Rey noticed the ceiling was starting to get higher. Light was also starting to stream in from a high point in front of her that she could not see. Soon she saw what was her third and final trial. A huge monolith, blocking a cavern. To proceed, she would have to move the monolith, which was probably twelve feet high and four feet across. It completely blocked her path and was much larger than anything she had ever tried to move before. Blowing out a breath, she put her lightsaber on her belt.. She had come too far to give up and she was at least going to try to move this behemoth. Breathing deeply, she began to envision the monolith moving. She concentrated hard on that image, concentrating so that hard sweat beads formed at the edge of her hairline. She let out a huge breath and began breathing hard, stressed from her effort. Determined, she wiped her forehead and she began to concentrate again.

The monolith started to move! She heard a voice behind her, “Let me help you with that.”

She spun around to face Kylo Ren. “You! You’ve been tracking me.”

“Yes, Rey. Thank you for making my path here so much easier, but I knew the relic was here and how to find you. You only arrived here on Maris III moments before I did. It is a shame those villagers were not more...helpful.”

“You killed them?” she exclaimed.

“I had to. I could not have one of them alerting you to my presence,” he said slowly.

“They won’t come in the jungle! They’re too scared of the relic. You killed them for no reason!”

“There is always a reason. It is merely a matter of perspective. I tire of this idle talk about irrelevant things. Revan’s Cynosure. It is mine. It is meant for me. It is my destiny.”

“Over my dead body,” Rey seethed. 

“If that is what is necessary,” Kylo Ren pulled out his lightsaber, the unstable blade blazing and crackling in the dark corridor. Rey pulled hers off of her belt, glowing blue against the backlight of the cavern.

The cavern was lit from above by a central hole in the ceiling with a crossbar within on a domed ceiling. Around the top of the dome, below the central hole were four more identical holes, all letting light stream in from above. Vines grew down into the cavern, but not so much as to block the light. They twisted around the crossbars, weaving in and out, up and down. The floor of the cavern mirrored the window; it was round and there was a crossbar in the center. The holes led down to seemingly bottomless pits and at the center of the crossbar was a pillar where Revan’s Cynosure sat. The relic itself was a glowing blue cube floating and slowly turning over it’s pillar. Each side had a set of four runes inscribed on it, each faintly glowing white. There were pillars like the one in center holding the relic against the walls parallel with the end of each bridge with each having a solid marble sphere on top. The bridges leading to the pillar were only two feet wide so one had to tread carefully and keep their balance as not to fall into the pits. There didn’t seem to be any Force trials in retrieving the relic, just a matter of being nimble and being quick probably was a good idea, as well.

Sparks flew from their lightsabers as they connected in the corridor. Kylo pushed Rey into the cavern where he could fully raise his and take full advantage of his considerable height over her. Never intimidated by him, Rey countered his every move, their lightsabers a blur as they fought furiously for possession of the relic.

“I do not know why you continue to fight me, Rey,” Kylo shouted, “You need someone to train you.”

“You’re not the person destined to train me. I’ll never go to the Dark Side,” she took a wide swing at his midsection, leaving her upper body open. He came in with a swipe to her shoulder, hitting his mark. She grabbed her shoulder, but only for a second. It was just a glancing wound and she wasn’t going to give up that easily.

Rey heard something start to rattle and ducked just as one of the marble spheres from the pillar nearest to them came hurtling toward her head. It cracked in half as it hit the wall then down to the floor. She could only imagine what that would have done to her head. Barely having time to react, Kylo was upon her again with his lightsaber, viciously slashing at her. Able to do nothing but defensive moves, he finally had her backed up against the wall of the cavern. She was able to get her lightsaber up to block his, taking all of her strength to hold him back.

“I do not want to kill you over this,” he said.

“You’re not getting that relic so I guess you don’t have any choice!” she gathered all of her emotion and used Force push to throw him back, though not nearly as far as she had hoped. It was enough for her to get in a more offensive stance and catch her breath for a moment. 

“You could be so much more if only you would let me show you,” he stood and walked towards her.

“I will never be a pawn for Snoke,” she started to step towards him and met his attack. He once again had her on the defensive, but she met him stroke for stroke. He was unable to land a blow but he was driving her backwards with every one. In the pitch of battle, they both had lost track of where they were in the cavern and they were both dangerously close the edge of one of the pits within the center of the room. Kylo made a ruthless jab at Rey and she jumped back. She was on the edge and fell, her lightsaber skidding across the cavern and she barely grabbed the edge to keep herself falling into the abyss.

Rey clung to the edge, fearing the last thing she was going to see was the mask of Kylo Ren looking down on her as she plummeted to her death. She had failed in her mission, failed General Organa and failed the Resistance. Her fingers were slipping and she involuntarily cried out. Kylo continued to look down at her silently. She imaged he was getting some sick sort of pleasure in watching her slowly slip, finger by finger, to her death and the mental anguish that accompanied it. She felt her left hand completely slip and she cried out again, trying to grab at the edge in vain.

“Give me your hand,” she looked up, not entirely comprehending what she heard.

“Do you want to die? Give me your hand,” Rey didn’t know if she should trust him or not but at this point she had absolutely nothing left to lose. She grabbed Kylo’s hand and a sudden shock went through the both of them. Visions of a young General Organa in a white dress saying, “Help me, Obi Wan.” A man’s voice, “Rey, do not be afraid.” Visions of Han Solo, General Organa and young Ben Solo with Chewbacca. Ben Solo, lost, in a mist, all of these things, swirling together in both of their minds.

Kylo fell backwards hard as he pulled Rey up and she landed hard on her front, almost knocking the wind out of her. Kylo reached up and took his mask off, looking at Rey, “What was that?”

“I, I don’t know,” she said, “Did you see the same things I did?”

“My mother in a white dress, my family,” he seemed pained to say much else.

She nodded, “Yes, Ben. I saw the same thing.”

“Ben is dead. He has been for a long time,” Kylo stared at her hard with his dark, piercing eyes.

“Is he? I don’t think you’re entirely sure of that,” she looked back at him equally hard.

He stood up, “Ben was weak and foolish. He is gone.”

“If that’s true, then why did I see a lost and confused Ben in our vision?”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAW!” he bellowed, beginning to pace, “You are starting to try my patience, Rey. Do not make me regret my decision.”

“You don’t regret your decision, Ben. You said from the start you didn’t want to kill me.”

“Stop calling me Ben. You do not know me well enough to call me that,” he cast his eyes down.

“Oh, but I think I do. This isn’t the first time I’ve been in your mind. Nor the first you’ve been in mine,” she paused.

“Rey,” he said, “Who are you?”

“I don’t know. I’m no one. I’m, I’m beginning to learn that I truly I don’t know,” she was now the one to cast her eyes down, “So what do we do about this problem we have?”

“What problem?” Kylo sounded downright miserable.

“The relic. Revan’s Cynosure. That thing floating in the middle of the room.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment, just looked straight ahead. He finally spoke, “It is yours. Take it.”

Stunned, she stared at him, “What?”

“Take it and do so before I change my mind. The destiny of the relic lies with you, not me.”

“What will you tell Snoke?” she asked.

“That is my problem to deal with, but I will simply tell him to arrived first and were able to obtain the relic before me,” he shrugged. He put his mask back on. “I am sure we will meet again, Rey.”

“I am sure, Ben,” she watched him as he walked out of the cavern and down the corridor, out of sight.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey watched Kylo Ren walk away until he was fully out of sight. Pulling herself to a fully upright sitting position, she tried to make sense of what had just transpired in the last few moments. The most fearsome figure of the First Order had saved her life. Why? Not only that, he gave up on his quest for the relic, letting her have it. None of it made any sense. Nothing about Kylo Ren made much sense when she truly thought about it. She had been inside that mind once before and had no desire to go there again. She did wonder about their vision though. Was that in her mind or his or both? There was no way to really explain it. She wished she knew what it meant. She wasn't shaken nearly as badly by it as Kylo was. Her biggest concern was that they simply shared it. It implicated a Force bond and he was the absolute last person in the galaxy she wanted to have one with.

Collecting herself, she stood up and walked over to where her lightsaber had landed when she fell. She placed it back on her belt, tightly securing it. Revan’s Cynosure still sat in the middle of the room, silently glowing and levitating. The cavern was eerily quiet now that the cacophony of battle was over. She found herself almost wishing Kylo hadn’t left because she wasn't quite sure of what was going to happen when she tried to take possession of the relic. Chastising herself for even thinking it would be better if that monster were present, she gathered up her nerve to walk across the narrow bridge to the relic. This was one of the few times she was glad to have such a petite frame. She could only imagine the difficulty Kylo would have had traversing the walkway. Why did she keep thinking of him?

She shook her head as she reached the platform holding the pillar the relic levitated over. Taking a deep breath, she reached for the relic and took hold of it, drawing it towards her body. It was small, fitting neatly into the palm of her hand. It had looked much larger from across the room. As she did so, a ghostly figure appeared above her.

“Who comes to claim Revan’s Cynosure?” it asked.

“My name is Rey,” she shakily replied.

“Are you Sith or Jedi?”

She shook her head, “Neither.”

“My child, I feel the Force all around you, You are strong in the Force.”

“I have no one to train me. I would aspire to be a Jedi, if I could, but that seems impossible right now,” her voice trailed off.

“I am aware of what has happened and I am also aware of the awakening, All of those that are One with the Force know.”

“Who are you?” Rey asked.  
“I am Revan, child,” he replied.

She drew a sharp breath inward. “Do not be afraid,” he said, “I will do you no harm but I must give you instructions as you are now the guardian of the Cynosure.”

She nodded, waiting for him to continue.

“The relic is a powerful tool for either a Jedi or a Sith or even an unaligned Force user such as yourself. Using it can expand your power by manyfold making you much stronger in battle physically and mentally. You only need to focus on the relic and your Force powers will flow through it. These powers expand even more so if you are a user that possesses both the Light and Dark Side within you, no matter how small they might be. My child, have you been called to the Dark Side?”

“Only once, that I can say for sure,” she paused, “In the first battle I had with Kylo Ren, on the Starkiller Base, I almost had the opportunity to kill him and it felt, it felt...good,” she shook her head, trying to brush off the memory. “I injured him and instead of it being a neutral feeling, just a happenstance of combat, it felt good. It was awful afterwards. I felt disgusting. I hope I never feel something like that again.”

“Obviously you did not kill Kylo Ren as you faced him again in battle today so you resisted the call of the Dark Side but you must be careful. It can be very tempting and seductive. Warriors much stronger than you have fallen, myself included. You are just beginning your journey with the Force. Tread carefully, my child,” he paused. “Do you understand how dangerous this relic would be in the hands of Kylo Ren?”

“Yes, he is strong in the Dark Side and very.”

“My child,” he interrupted her, “he is dangerous because he still possesses the Light within him. This relic is most powerful with a Force user having both sides of the Force within.”

“There’s no Light Side in Kylo Ren,” she protested, “He’s a sadistic murderer. He killed a handful of villagers just hours ago for no reason.”

“Yet he saved your life just moments ago and relinquished his claim upon this relic,” Revan’s voice kindly reminded her of Kylo’s strange altruistic deeds.

Rey started to protest but stopped because she knew he was right. It was the reason she called him Ben. She knew the Light was there, that Ben Solo was still in there somewhere. It was part of the vision, of Ben lost in the mist. “But why did he do those things?”

“His motivations are not mine to know. Those are answers you can only find. There is a Force bond between you, there is no doubt of that.”  
She cringed at the words Force bond, “I don’t want any connection with that monster.”

“It is not for you to decide. The Force has bonded the two of you together and now your fates are intertwined. But while he is so far into the Dark Side, you must protect this relic from him. You must go now, Rey.”

Before she could say anything, the ghost vanished. Unable to move for a moment, she thought about everything Revan’s ghost had said, most of it not sitting well with her. She felt like there was a brick in her stomach and her shoulder was starting to throb from the wound Kylo had landed. She quickly made her way across the bridge towards the hallway out of the cavern. Heading out of the vault, she hoped Kylo had headed straight for his ship and taken off without hesitation. She had no desire to see him again on this day or one anytime soon. She stopped as she closed the door to the vault as she realized she owed him a life debt. A life debt. Her stomach rolled at the thought. She had to sit down. A Force bond and a life debt. While he might have shown some Light today, it wasn’t enough for her to feel any sort of comfort with these sort of connections. He was clearly unstable and not wanting to kill her today could change tomorrow.

Walking back to her ship, her mind couldn’t help but wander to wondering what young Ben Solo had been like before Snoke got his filthy hands on him. He carried such a heavy burden with his lineage, as if being the grandson of Darth Vader wasn’t enough he was also the nephew of the great Jedi Luke Skywalker. No matter which path he chose, the legacy to live up to was almost too much for one young man to carry. Add to that his father being an famous, or infamous, smuggler and a war hero, she could easily see how his mind could be corrupted when a boy is becoming a man and questioning himself and everything around him. Wait, was she rationalizing his turn to the Dark Side? No, but there is the realization that evil isn’t born, it’s made and Ben Sold was made to be Kylo Ren. The persisting problem now was that he refused to heed the call from the Light and made this choice as a full grown man. No excuses or explanation could wash that away.

She hated when he took off his mask. He did it when he first interrogated her and he had just did it again when they had their shared vision. It reminded her that he was human even with the evil deeds he perpetrated on a daily basis. What did he think about before he went to sleep at night? The thousands that have died at his hand and thousands more at his order? Or simply that he had a tasty dinner and would drift off to sleep without a care in the world? She was in her ship now and slammed her hand against the control panel. She really needed to stop thinking about him unless her safety was in question. Who cared what that lunatic thought about before he went to sleep?

Maneuvering the ship off of the surface of Maris III, she set a course for the Resistance home base. She needed to get back and report to General Organa. Her mission had been a success but she wasn’t sure how the General would take her report. Her demeanor always changed when a report included her son and it was easy to see why it would. Rey wasn’t looking forward to her meeting.

After docking, Rey headed to the medical bay to have her wounded shoulder tended to. It wasn’t severely injured and only took some stitches to close. Wincing, she thought about how things could have been much worse, like falling into a seemingly bottomless pit and then thought about how Kylo Ren saving her life might be even worse. Her comm link came alive, General Organa asking her to meet her in Debriefing Room 55-A in an hour. Rey acknowledged the order and headed to her room to clean up.

General Organa was already in the room when Rey arrived. She stood up as Rey came in, taking her hand in hers, “It’s always good to see you, Rey,” she said warmly.

“You too, General,” Rey replied.

The General noticed the bandage that poked out from under her shirt sleeve, “You were injured on this mission?”

“Yes, ma’am. I encountered some...resistance to my obtaining the relic.”

“So you did obtain the relic?” she asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Rey replied.

“What happened?” General Organa was stern in her questioning.

“I arrived on Maris III and landed near the coordinates were were given for the location for the vault. There was a village nearby and the villagers confirmed the relic was somewhere within the jungle, but none were willing to guide me. They pointed me in a general direction and it looked like there was a path on the ground, but it was completely overgrown. I had to hack my way through with my lightsaber until I came upon the vault,” Rey paused.

“Go on,” General Organa said.

“Opening the door to the vault was a Force trial and there was another beyond that. I was able to complete both of those. I came upon a third, which I was unable to complete.”

“Then how did you get the relic?” the General asked.

“Kylo Ren completed the trial.” Rey’s sentence hung in the air.

General Organa drew in a sharp breath, “My son was there?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

General Organa was silent for a few minutes. “Go on,” she finally said,

“It was a huge monolith that I couldn’t move, but he did. He arrived on Maris III shortly after I did. We had figured he was also looking for the relic and he was. He followed me from the village through the very obvious path I left through the jungle to the vault. We had a lightsaber battle and this time, without being injured, he was so much stronger. I was on the defensive the entire time. There were pits surrounding the relic and I slipped into one, barely grabbing the edge. I was fairly certain I was going to fail the mission, fall and die.” Rey stopped.

“What, Rey? Go on.”

“Kylo grabbed my hand and pulled me out. He saved me.”

General Organa’s eyes went wide, “He saved you?”

“Yes, ma’am. He was watching my fingers slip then reached down and told me to grab his hand and pulled me out of the pit. I don’t know why.”

Tears formed in General Organa’s eyes, “Because there is still Light left in him,” she paused for a moment, trying to collect herself, clearing her throat. “So how did you get the relic from him?”

“He let me have it. He said it’s destiny is with me, not him,” Rey shrugged, as she still didn’t understand what had happened. “He literally walked away.” Rey had decided not to tell General Organa about the vision. That seemed like something private, something personal she didn’t feel the need to share. Something between her and Kylo, or maybe her and Ben.

“What about Snoke? What is he going to tell him?” a look of concern came over General Organa’s face

“He told me it wasn’t my problem but that he would just tell Snoke I beat him to the relic, then he walked away before I could say any more. I have no idea what his motives are. It makes no sense. He purposely failed his mission. I don’t understand.”

“Maybe he has had a vision of the future. Ben always had visions in his dreams. Perhaps the same holds true now. I just worry what that vision might be,” General Organa laid her forehead on her hand, breathing deeply. “He kept you alive for a reason, I just wish we knew what that reason is, not that I’m not thrilled he decided to do so, Rey. I’m so glad he made the right decision this time. We need you.”

“Thank you, General Organa,” Rey smiled. General Organa was the closest person she had to a mother and appreciated her warmth when it came through. “If we’re through, I’d like to head back to my room, if you don’t mind.”

“That’s fine, Rey. You need your rest,” they both stood and General Organa hugged Rey. It made her feel warm all over. “I’m so glad you’re home.”

Rey headed to her room, suddenly exhausted from the events of the day. It was still a few hours before dinner, but she sank into her soft bed anyhow, snuggling into her blanket. It still felt like such a luxury after so many years of sparse living on Jakku. She slipped into a deep sleep, falling into a dream of an intense battle on planet she didn’t recognize. The Resistance was losing the battle, retreating, but she was still fighting as hard as she could, taking down as many stormtroopers as she could in her wake. Her lightsaber flashed against the stark white armor of the troopers as she cut them down, one after another. Almost to the Millennium Falcon, she tripped, landing hard on the ground, a stormtrooper right on her. She looked up, waiting for the blaster fire that would end her life when she heard a voice yell, “NO!” and saw a red lightsaber run through the stormtrooper. She rolled over to avoid the falling body, seeing Kylo Ren standing there.

Breathing hard, she woke up. Now he was saving her in her dreams, too? What in the hell was going on? Throwing the blanket off, she got up and went into the refresher. Turning on the water, she rinsed her face off. In her thoughts, now in her dreams. She was just about ready for this day to be over with and hopefully tomorrow would be Kylo Ren free. She had a dark feeling that her days of being Kylo Ren free were over.


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo Ren quickly exited the vault with his long strides. Given his considerable height, making it out of the jungle also took little time. He paid no attention to the bodies strewn on the ground near his shuttle. They were of no concern to him. The only thing on his mind was the punishment he would receive when returning to Supreme Leader Snoke empty handed. He could have easily let the girl die. He could have loosened her grip with the Force or just been so cruel as to step on her fingers to make her let go of the ledge but he didn’t. Instead he saved her. Saved her. Saved the girl that defeated him only a short time ago on Starkiller Base. When he interrogated her, the first time they interacted, he had felt the connection even if she hadn’t.

 

“Don’t be afraid. I feel it, too.”

 

He wasn’t sure what to make of the connection to the girl. His first instinct was to dislike it. It felt like a weakness. It was clearly a weakness. He spared her life and aborted his mission because of it. This could become a serious liability if he could not control it. Of course he could control it. This was nothing compared to other things he continually battled in his mind on a day to day basis. His psyche was a shattered landscape of brutality, abuse, desperation and loss and those were on the quiet days. The only time those thoughts abated was when Rey came into them. That’s when he second instinct was to welcome the connection. It brought peace to his fractured mind.

 

His crew didn’t speak as he settled into his chair and ordered them back to the base. Successful mission or not, the crew would never make small talk with Kylo Ren. No one had the idiocy to address him if not spoken to and today was one of those days he was especially grateful for such things. The thought of another human being speaking to him right now made his hand ball into a fist.

 

Supreme Leader Snoke’s voice filtered into his head, “Come see me as soon as you land.”

 

“Yes, my master,” Kylo silently replied, tensing at the phrase of “my master.’ He had been a subjugate for far too long now and it was beginning to wear on him. The more he said it the more he came to hate it. Hated the phrase, hated his master, hated the First Order, hated everything. This hate fueled him, however, making him ever stronger and more feared by his subordinates. At least he only bowed to one while many bowed to him. It was small comfort. He should bow to no one.

 

Upon landing, Kylo headed directly for the Supreme Leader’s chambers. There was no use in procrastination. Get in and get it over with. Waiting outside of the doors, Kylo knew Snoke would be aware of his presence and waited for the door to open. He didn’t have to wait long, the doors opening and Snoke’s voice beckoning him in.

 

Snoke sat upon a chair on a riser, above whoever might in the room, of course. Kylo dropped to one knee, “My Lord.”

 

“Were you able to obtain the relic?”

 

“No, my Lord. It was already gone by the time I reached the vault,” Kylo stared at the ground through his mask.

 

“It was gone? Who would have taken it?”

 

“The Resistance, master. I assume they were also looking for it.”

 

“You assume?” Snoke’s voice began to rise. Kylo felt a pressure start in his head, pressing inward. “How could you allow the Resistance to gain possession of the relic? You know the importance of it to you.”

 

Kylo felt the pressure bearing down harder, the pain growing. It extended down his neck, to his arms and legs, pushing him down to all fours on the floor. He gasped, “It was the girl, my Lord. I felt her presence there though she was gone by the time I arrived.”

 

“The girl? The scavenger scum that defeated you on Starkiller Base?”

 

“Yes, yes, my master,” Kylo said through gritted teeth. He wasn’t sure if the pain or admitting defeat was worse.

 

“So she has defeated you again,” Snoke leaned over in his chair. “This is starting to look like a pattern, Kylo Ren.”

 

“I, I can assure you it is not, my Lord,” Kylo almost fell as he felt the pain worsen in his head and all through his body. He fell from his hands to his elbows on the hard stone floor.

 

“You need to find this girl and find the relic with her. If she is so cunning and powerful, you must bring her to me and not let her slip through your fingers this time.”

 

“Yes...master…” Kylo could barely speak at this point from the pain.

 

“Excellent. You may go.” Snoke released the pain he had put upon Kylo.

 

Kylo almost collapsed, but caught himself before doing so, refusing to be humiliated so. Slowly he got up and exited the chamber. Hearing the door close behind him, he slowly made his way to his own chambers. Entering the front room, he removed his mask, resisting the urge to throw it across the room. He walked into his bedroom where the resistance faded and he hurled the mask across the room where it dented the wall before hitting the floor. He lashed out and punched the nearest wall, over and over again until his knuckles were bloody underneath his leather glove. It was clearly time to go to the training pods. He was bruised and sore from his fight with Rey and Snoke’s abuse compounded that but with all of his pent up rage and hatred boiling, Kylo needed an outlet beyond one that would only injure himself, however satisfying that might be. He had a feeling he would be facing Rey again and he needed to be fully healed to deal with her. As untrained as she was, she was still strong and unpredictable.

 

He had been able to block the truth from Snoke. Kylo wasn’t sure he would have survived the encounter had the truth been revealed. Smiling to himself, it showed he was growing in his power. There had been a time where the Supreme Leader knew every thought within his head. He was becoming better and better at cloaking his thoughts, keeping Snoke out of every corner of his mind. Hopefully, he could eventually keep him out entirely.

 

Leaving his black pants and shirt on, he threw his robes to the floor. Retrieving his mask from where it landed, he put it back on and grabbed his lightsaber, heading for the training pods. He walked briskly and efficiently, no one dared to get in his way except for one sanitation worker that wasn’t paying attention. He was knocked to the ground without a word said or a step missed and that worker dared not to say a thing to Kylo Ren. No one ever spoke to Kylo Ren and when he walked like this entire bays emptied out because of his infamous temper. Frequently he found the hallways ahead of him empty and he preferred it that way.

 

Stepping into his personal pod, he punched in the code for the most difficult training droid the facility had available. Nothing compared to man to man combat but he didn’t think that was the best idea at this time and General Hux probably wouldn’t appreciate losing a few of his men to satiate Kylo’s foul temperament. He didn’t feel like dealing with Hux just to slit the throats of a few stormtroopers. The agitation wasn’t worth the reward. The droid would have to do for now.

 

Kylo’s limbs were heavy and his head ached, but he met the droid blow for blow and he felt the anger and hate drain from him with each hit. While being strong in the Force, he still loved the feeling of hand to hand combat. The personalization of looking your foe in the eye as your life hangs in the balance of one stroke to the next and then looking that foe in the eye further still as you strike them down. Watching the life drain from their face and the realization that they have lost and now they will die; that was true power, more powerful than even the Force. If a foe decided to take their fate gracefully, without fear, he wasted no time in ending their life. He gave them an honorable death, as they so deserved. Those who cowered and begged for their life were his favorites, however. He toyed with them, prolonging the time between his torture and their expiration. He would cut off each limb, one by one, slowly, relishing in their cries for mercy. The terror in their eyes made his pulse quicken and he had to remind himself to go slowly, lest he hurry and end the sweet misery too soon. Finally he would run his lightsaber through their throat or their heart, whichever he preferred on that occasion. The throat was usually slower and he reserved that for when he was feeling particularly sadistic. 

 

Kylo finally tired of toying with the droid and began hacking it into pieces, leaving a sparking mess of parts and wires on the floor. Someone would be along soon enough to clean it up. This was nothing new. He reached up to wipe the sweat from his forehead, forgetting he had his mask on. He began the walk back to his chambers, not so frantic, not so determined. People still made sure to stay out of his way though. No need for an unnecessary confrontation with a leader that will behead you for just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Kylo’s temper could flare in an instant and it was known he could kill someone for seemingly no reason at all.

 

Kylo removed his helmet as soon as he was within his room, taking his sleeve to wipe down his face. He now felt a good sort of pain and tired, rather than the previous that only made him irritable and angry. He knew it wouldn’t last for long. The anger never stayed away for long. It always came back, at the very least seething under the surface, giving an edge to everything he did or said. Making him question the motives of everyone around him, causing him to trust no one. He had no friends or confidants. He didn’t want any. Friends were weaknesses. Feelings for others made for vulnerabilities that could be exploited by your enemies. Love wasn’t even a consideration. Entire wars had been lost over love and he certainly wasn’t going to put himself in that position. He had too much to lose and still too much to gain. He stripped off his clothes and headed into the refresher, turning on the shower. His body was covered in scars from live combat training and actual combat. Kylo wasn’t one to sit back and command his troops from afar. He loved warfare and everything about it. Being good at it made it that much sweeter.

 

His thoughts unfortunately returned to Snoke. That withered up nasty shell of an old bastard. So many years of bowing and scraping and for what? Still answering to the beck and call of another. Still being in servitude. Still calling another master. Slavery. Kylo was no more free than a slave. This was not what Snoke promised to him so many years ago. He had been young and foolish then, though not so foolish as to continue on in Jedi training. That’s living in servitude to the Force. Why do that when you can bend the Force to do your will, to bring you what you wish? While he was sure he made the right choice, Kylo still despised his master. The more he thought about how much he hated Snoke the more he thought about how much he wanted to kill him.

 

While not a Sith Lord, they clearly had the dynamic of a Sith Lord and apprentice. Kylo had studied the history of the Sith, hoping to learn as much as possible about the Dark Side and it’s potential. He tried to study even beyond his master’s lessons, hoping to please his master and gave favor with him. Kylo grunted in disgust. What a waste of time, except the knowledge gained was not. Knowledge is always power so there was no regrets in his studies. Kylo was now craving the power his master held and there was only one way to get it. Kill Snoke. He only needed to figure out how and how to do so without betraying his thoughts to his master. He was pleased that he had been able to conceal his thoughts this morning but he knew better than to be overconfident in his abilities. Snoke was powerful and not to be trifled with. Kylo had to be mindful of his thoughts and careful with his planning if he wanted to defeat his master. He knew an extended battle with Snoke wasn’t the best plan. Surprise, catching him off guard, that was the best idea. 

 

With a jolt, his felt his mind pulled into a dream, even though he was fully awake. He braced himself against the shower wall. It was a battle scene, with the First Order advancing on the Resistance. He saw Rey retreating, making her way to her ship, but falling as she made her way. One of his stormtroopers was over her, ready to fire the kill shot from his blaster. Kylo ran towards him, yelling “NO!” in the dream and actually yelling in the shower, pulling him out of the dream state. The water was starting to turn cold and he turned it off. He stood there momentarily, trying to make sense of what just happened. Was it a vision or a dream? What was it? Shaking the water out of his hair, he stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel and drying off. He hung the towel back up and went into the bedroom to get dressed in his usual black shirt and pants he wore under his robes.

 

He went to the mat he slept on, lying down, putting his hands behind his head, trying to relax, knowing it was futile. He never relaxed. He was always tense, muscles always tight. He couldn't remember the last time he didn’t feel like every muscle was in a knot. The massage droids in the medical bay offered temporary relief, especially after training, but it never lasted long. He woke up from sleep especially sore, his body wracked by nightmares every night. Some nights he elected not to sleep at all but meditated instead. He could at least control his thoughts then and get some semblance of rest. Other nights he was so exhausted he had to sleep even though he knew it wouldn’t be restful and there would be a battle just as bad or worse than those he faced while awake.

 

The battle he faced at night was his conscience coming to him in his dreams. Instead of his sadistic Dark Side nature, his regret for his deeds done came out to haunt him. The faces of those he tortured and killed flashed through his mind, hundreds, thousands, every night. He imagined the families those he killed may have had, their grief at losing a loved one, a mother losing a son, a wife losing a husband, a sister losing a brother, a child losing their father, wave after wave of guilt washed over him in his dreams, driving away at him. Their eyes bored into what was left of his soul, demanding he atone for his deeds. In his dreams, he runs, just runs in a mist, trying to escape his own mind. The screams of the dead filled his ears until he could hear nothing else, bolting him awake every night, panting and sweating, the same thing over and over. That is when the Light calls to him.

 

He had one dream that wasn’t entirely a nightmare, however. It started occurring every night since he first encountered the girl. He didn’t like using her name. Made her too comfortable to him, too familiar. He preferred to keep her at a distance. His dream was a battlefield and she was off in the distance, dressed all in white, the sun shining down on her in the middle of a grey landscape. He would make his way to her, cutting down any adversary in his path, finally reaching her. He removed his mask and he bent down on one knee, looking up at her. They embrace, his head lying on her chest while she kissed the top of his head. If he woke up from that dream, it was the only time he ever felt relaxed. It was a weakness. He knew it was. He knew he was drawn to her but he didn’t want to be. Such a thing had no place in his life and yet it showed up in his dreams every single night. It was beautiful and infuriating. He was fairly certain they shared a Force bond. He didn’t want to share that, let alone anything further yet his subconscious was telling him otherwise.

 

What he really needed to be thinking about was the relic, how to get it and how to bring the girl to Supreme Leader Snoke. Kylo actually cringed a bit at the thought of bringing her before Snoke, but he wasn’t sure why. He had no idea what his Master had in mind for her but it couldn’t be anything pleasant. He shouldn’t even be concerned. She was of no value to him yet he had saved her life...and let her take the relic. He clearly was not thinking clearly when it came to this girl. She had already caused him enough trouble and he could see nothing but more in his future if he did not clear his mind of ridiculous thoughts of her in flowing white dresses. What nonsense. He sat up, crossing his legs in preparation to mediate. Sleeping was clearly out of the question.


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo Ren awoke to the sound of Supreme Leader Snoke in his mind, commanding him to his chambers. He woke up normally, not anxious or in a panic. The dream with the girl. Snoke had interrupted it. Just another reason to hate the old bastard. Kylo was actually sleeping well for once and didn’t appreciate it being ruined. There was a large part of him that didn't want to admit that he was irritated in being interrupted in his thoughts of the girl and he put that into the deepest part of his mind. As quickly as he could, he pulled on his boots, donned his robes and put on his helmet for his walk to his master.

There was no wait as Kylo approached the door. It opened immediately and he entered the front room of the chamber. “My Lord,” he said as he bowed to one knee.

“Have you given any thought to how you will find the girl?” Supreme Leader Snoke asked.

Startled, Kylo said, “No, not yet, my master, I’ve not had time.”

Snoke cut him off, “I’m tired of your excuses, apprentice. If you have time to dream of her you certainly have time to figure out how you’re going to bring her here.” Kylo went pale under his mask. “Yes, boy, I know you were dreaming about her. I only caught a glimpse as I entered your mind to order you here.”

“The dream ended with my killing her, my Lord,” Kylo lied, hoping to block the part of his mind where he had buried the dream. He could feel Snoke probing through his brain.

“Alright then, but just to remind you to be mindful of your thoughts,” the Supreme Leader raised his hand and then closed it. Kylo felt the all too familiar pain begin in his head, only this time with heat. He gasped as it radiated down his neck, to his arms clear to every finger, down his spine and legs to the tip of every toe. Every fiber in his nervous system felt the glowing hot pain and this time it brought him prone to the floor. He tried to rise but it was just too painful to even move and in his mind he involuntarily cried out for Rey. Snoke thankfully didn’t hear Kylo’s mind, he was too busy reviling in the pain he was inflicting on his apprentice. He finally let loose of his grip on Kylo.

“Now listen, Ren. We intercepted a transmission that the girl will be heading to Tatooine tomorrow for an expedition. I expect you to go there and return with her and the relic. Take whatever you need to complete your mission.”

“Yes...ma...ster…” Kylo whispered. He was barely able to speak and equally unable to rise from the floor.

“Take your sorry carcass out of my chambers, boy!” the Supreme Leader shouted.

Slowly, he rose. He straightened his robes with as much dignity as possibly and slowly walked out of the room. He heard the door shut with a heavy thud behind him. Seething, Kylo began the angry march back to his quarters. The first stormtrooper that came into his sight was Force choked and thrown into the wall, crumpled on the floor with a broken neck. Another lost his arm by a quick stroke of Kylo’s lightsaber. People began to run in a panic. Kylo Ren was on a rampage and if you wanted to live, you got out of sight. A protocol droid exploded from Force lightning, it’s head rolling down a hall while it’s limbs went four different directions. A housekeeping cart heading for the stormtrooper garrison, now abandoned, was destroyed in four swipes of his lightsaber, linens singed, some having small flames. Heading down the last hallway, he took out two more droids and a trash bin with determined efficiency.

Once in his room, he removed his mask, hurling it to the floor and it bounced across the room. He punched the wall in the same place he had the day before, achieving the same result of bloody knuckles under his glove only he didn’t stop this time until the glove was shredded. Going into the refresher, he took off his tattered glove so he could rinse off his hand. He saw his reflection in the mirror and was so disgusted by it he punched the mirror, shattering it and truly cutting his knuckles. The pain felt good; it was a release, felt satisfying. He was starting to come down now, his anger abating. He would have to call maintenance to fix his mirror. Again.

He peeled off his other glove, throwing it on the pile of glass with his other destroyed glove. No real need to hang on to one glove. He went out to the bedroom and hung up his robes. The girl certainly didn’t waste time between missions. What could she be looking for on Tatooine? The First Order had scoured that planet looking for any evidence of Luke Skywalker and found nothing, so it was unlikely it had anything to do with him. They would start their search from the old Skywalker moisture farm and fan out from there.

His hand needed medical attention, but that could be dealt with later. He needed to mediate or more people were going to die. The prattle he would have to endure for the slaughter wasn’t worth the momentary satisfaction.

******

Rey, Poe and Finn sat at a table in the mess hall, eating breakfast. Poe and Finn were quizzing her about seeing Kylo Ren again. It was the first encounter anyone from the Resistance had had with him since the destruction of the Starkiller Base.

“So what was it like seeing him?” Finn asked.

“Quite terrifying, actually,” Rey replied. “He wasn’t injured by a bowcaster so he was much stronger. Much stronger. He had me on the defensive the entire fight.”

“What turned the fight your way?” asked Poe. “What did you do to win?”

Rey paused for a moment before answering, “Well, nothing. I didn’t really win.” She went on to explain the layout of the cavern, with the crossbar bridges and the pits. “I fell into one and he pulled me out. He saved me.”

Both men looked at her, incredulous. “What?!” Finn exclaimed, “He saved you? Why?”

“I don’t know. He reached down, grabbed my hand and pulled me up. You could be a little more grateful,” she playfully nudged Finn.

“You have to understand that I’m trying to wrap my head around Kylo Ren of the First Order saving your life or any life for that matter,” Finn shook his head.

Poe started to laugh, “Maybe he likes you, Rey.”

“Oh, stop it,” she said with a smile.

Finn started laughing, too, “Rey has a boyfriend, Rey has a boyfriend.”

“OK, that’s enou…” Rey stopped as a hot pressure began to build in her head. She reached up, grabbing her temples. “What the…”

“Rey, are you ok?” Finn put his drink down.

The pain and the heat in Rey’s head became worse and worse, knocking her out of her chair and driving her to the floor. It began to radiate down her neck, into her arms, down to her fingertips, down her spine into her legs and into her toes. It was the worst pain she had ever felt in her entire life. Crying out in agony, both Poe and Finn rushed to her side.

“Rey, what is happening?” Poe put his hands on her shoulder while she laid on the ground curled in a ball.

“I...don’t...know…” she whispered. Other people were beginning to gather around.

“Someone get a medical droid!” Poe yelled.

In her mind, Rey heard Kylo Ren yell out her name. She tried to respond but she was in too much pain. Impatient, Finn picked her up to take her to the medical bay, Poe right behind. On the way to the medical bay, the pain subsided and Rey went limp. Finn and Poe burst into the bay.

“We need help!” Finn yelled.

A nurse stepped forward, “What happened?”

“We were eating breakfast and all of a sudden she grabbed her head, fell out of her chair and was on the ground,” Poe explained.

“Rey, are you awake?” the nurse asked.

“Yes,” she whispered.

“Finn, put her on this bed over here,” the nurse pointed to a bed against the wall. “We’ll get her hooked up and start getting vital signs. Rey, can you tell me what happened?”

“I was, I was fine, then this pain started in my head. Like an intense pressure with heat and it got worse and worse, like my head was going to explode, then it started to go down my neck and back. Into my arms and legs. It hurt so badly I couldn’t move. I just fell over,” she felt a tear rolling down her cheek. “I’ve never felt anything like that in my life.”

“OK, I’m going to let this droid do it’s job of taking your vitals and checking to see if you’re ok physically. I’ll be back in a moment to check the results and see how you're doing,” the nurse walked off to attend to other patients further back in the bay.

Finn and Poe were staring at her. Finally Finn said, “Are you ok, Rey?”

“I think so,” she replied.

“What was that?” Poe asked.

“I have no idea,” she didn’t tell them about hearing Kylo call her name. Not because of their joking earlier, but because it just seemed very strange that happened but she wasn’t sure why.

“What, Rey?” asked Finn. “You look like you’re thinking about something.”

 

“I am. Trying to figure out what the hell happened to me.”

He nodded, “Good point.”

“Why don’t you guys get out of here? I’ll be fine here, if anything comes up I’ll have them call you. There’s no need for you to stand around while a droid analyzes my vitals.”

Poe looked at her with concern, “Are you sure? I know I can stay. I can clear my schedule.”

“Oh, me too, me too,” Finn said, “Whatever you need.”

“I think I’d like to rest a little bit, to be honest,” she laid her head back on the pillow and sighed.

“If that’s what you want,” Finn smiled and leaned down to hug her. “Let’s not do this again,” he said, laughing.

She lightly laughed, “Yes, I’ll try to avoid it in the future.”

Poe hugged her, as well, “Call if you need us. For anything.”

“For anything,” she repeated. She leaned back into the pillow again and closed her eyes. She didn’t know what happened but she was fairly sure Kylo Ren had something to do with it. Why else would she have heard his voice during the attack? Did he actually cry out for her? Was he being put through the same pain? So many questions and no way to get any answers. She felt more tears spring up in her eyes.

She wondered if she could reach out to him in the same way, by calling out to him. She didn’t have anything else to do so she figured she might as well try. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She really didn’t know if doing any of that would help but she thought it wouldn’t hurt. Kylo...Kylo…

Images of a fiery planet began to form in her mind. Lava spewing up from vents, rivers of lava flowing. Volcanos erupted on the horizon. Mining equipment working through the fire and soot. A rather dreadful landscape all around and yet there sat Kylo Ren, meditating, in her mind’s eye, at least. His meditation became a shared vision.

“Rey?” he answered her, then saw her, wearing the white dress she always wore in his dreams, his vision of her. It was so unexpected he didn’t even think to shut her out of his mind.

“Kylo, what’s going on?”

“We seemed to have established a telepathic link.”

“No,” she interrupted him. “That’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. Were you just in a great deal of pain?

This was not something he would readily admit to someone. “Why?”

“Because I just went through the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my entire life and right in the middle of it I hear you calling my name.”

He didn’t speak for a moment, “Snoke was punishing me,” he said flatly.

“What? That’s insane! Why did I feel it?” Rey wasn’t sure if getting her questions answered was clearing up anything or not. “Why would he punish you?”

“It does not matter,” Kylo’s tone remained flat.

“Where are we?” she asked.

“I frequently envision the planet Mustafar when I meditate. It is important to my grandfather.”

“It’s, uh,” Rey didn’t know what to say.

“It is not nice and it is not supposed to be. You would not understand,” his voice trailed off a bit. “My meditation is not for peace.”

“Why did Snoke punish you?” Rey asked again. For some reason, she wanted to know. For some reason, it mattered. She needed it to be justified.

“I told you that it does not matter. Why must you press me on the issue?”

“Because he shouldn’t punish you at all!” she exclaimed.

“Really, now? You are worried about my well being all of a sudden?” he paused, “He punished me to remind me to be mindful of my thoughts.”

Rey noticed the backdrop for their vision was changing to a beautiful green countryside near a lake with tall mountains and a beautiful villa. They were standing on the veranda of the villa. Rey could almost smell the flowers and wished she could really be wherever this beautiful place was.

“Wait, why have things changed? Where are we now?”

“This is Naboo. Another important place to my grandfather. I...don’t envision this place very often. Rarely, in fact. It’s too placid,” Kylo shrugged. He was starting to drop his formal demeanor.

“It’s beautiful. Maybe someday I’ll get to visit. So, mindful of your thoughts. What thoughts are so bad that he has to torture you for them?”

“Rey, you’re treading into things that aren’t your business.”

She looked at him sternly. “It became my business when I was also being tortured.”

Kylo sighed, “Snoke came into my mind while I was sleeping and I was having a dream about you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. I told him I killed you at the end of the dream but that apparently wasn’t good enough. I didn’t though,” he stopped short.

“You didn’t what?” she pressed.

“Kill you, I didn’t kill you in the dream,” they were going into territory he had no desire to discuss. He decided to try and turn the conversation. “Why do you think you felt what I felt? Did you feel anything yesterday?”

“No,” she said, “Why?”

“Because the same thing happened yesterday, slightly less intense,” he replied, “This bond doesn’t make sense.”

She thought for a moment, “Maybe since I was in your mind from the dream and you called out my name it called me into it. Maybe it gets stronger by the day. I don’t know. Wait, he did this to you yesterday, too?”

“Yes.”

“And how many years have you put up with this? You could be so much more!”

“What, be a Jedi?” he scoffed, “Why do you even care? You think I’m a monster.”

“Maybe you would be less of a monster if you didn’t have such a sadistic beast for a master,” Rey felt her temper rising and she really wasn’t sure why. He was right, why did she care? “This is not how a master is supposed to treat his apprentice.”

“We need to end this. If Snoke picks up on this, we will both regret it,” with that, Rey’s consciousness was back in the medical bay, the nurse standing over her, checking over the reports the droid had printed out. She could still see beautiful landscape in her mind.

“There she is! You were sleeping so soundly I didn’t want to wake you up. All of your physical stats check out fine. It looks like this was an anomaly. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like,” the nurse smiled at her warmly.

“I think I’ll go back to my room for now,” Rey said, wobbling a little as she stood up. She exited the medical bay and headed for her quarters. She was going to rest for a while then find Finn and Poe to go over her plans for her mission to Tatooine tomorrow. General Organa had suggested going there to look for any artifacts or items she might find helpful in her studies of the Force. She was going to search the home of Obi Wan Kenobi, one of the last Jedis. His home had been abandoned for many years so she wasn’t sure if she would find anything at all but it was also the childhood home of Luke Skywalker so she was curious about that in the very least. Maybe she would find something of interest there, as well. She was starting to really look forward to this excursion. She smiled. You never know what you might find when you're scavenging.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I have finished. From this point on I'll be posting as I complete chapters. My goal is one a week. Thanks so much for the support so far!!

Even upon approach, Rey had an instant dislike for Tatooine. It reminded her of Jakku. She could be happy if she never saw another grain of sand. It was coarse and rough and irritating. They landed near the old Skywalker moisture farm, making their way to it on foot. She had a small squad of five Resistance soldiers with her, just in case. For what she wasn’t sure, but General Organa had insisted she take them with her, reminding her of her encounter with Kylo Ren just two days prior. Grimly she thought that these few soldiers wouldn’t be much help against the powerful Master Knight of Ren.

They entered the home, steps going down into the living quarters. Rey could tell that scavengers had already gone through here many, many times as there was nothing left. It was absolutely barren. They proceeded through out into the courtyard area, the two suns bright in the sky. While there wasn’t anything to find, Rey did wonder what it was like for Luke growing up here. What did he do? Did he have friends? She longed to know more about the mysterious Jedi.

Suddenly she felt a dark presence. Kylo Ren. He was on Tatooine. She shouted to her squad, “Come on, we need to leave. Now.”

“What’s going on?” the squad leader asked.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” she replied, “Let’s go.” As they headed for the opening to the courtyard, stormtroopers appeared, blasters firing. “Run for any door! Go!” One by one, though, her squad was cut down, leaving just her. She was running for a door at the back of the courtyard when she tripped and fell. Looking up to see a stormtrooper aiming right at her chest, she closed her eyes. Hearing Kylo yell, “NO!” she saw the end of a red lightsaber come through the stormtrooper. She rolled over as Kylo removed his lightsaber and the stormtrooper’s body fell to the ground.

“I told you I wanted her taken alive,” he shouted to the stormtroopers. “This is what happens when my orders are not followed.”

The last thing she heard Kylo say was, “I’m sorry, Rey.”

\-----------------------------------------------------

Rey woke up in a cell, on a bed, not particularly uncomfortable and not particularly happy. Kylo Ren had kidnapped and taken her prisoner again. Reaching for her belt and she found, of course, that nothing was there; her blaster, lightsaber and the pouch with the relic were all gone. She leaned her forehead on her hand, her elbow on her knee. Kylo would be much more careful than he was the last time. Escaping would be more difficult and now she had no idea where she was. Replaying the events of the ambush on Tatooine in her head, she wondered if anything else could have been done to prevent it or anticipate it. She wished she had gone alone like she had wanted to. Five lives lost for nothing. She thought for sure she was dead when she tripped and fell; the stormtrooper had her pinned but Kylo...Kylo saved her life. Again. She sat up straight. This was the second time in a span of a few days he had saved her life. To be fair, he wanted to take her prisoner so maybe it wasn’t entirely altruistic but nonetheless if all he wanted was the relic, he didn’t have to leave her alive. She did wonder why he wanted her alive. Maybe it would be better if she she was dead. She shivered a bit at thinking what might be in store for her.

A thought suddenly came to her. She had dreamed about Kylo saving her. The setting wasn’t exactly the same, but the way he saved her was. She had dreamed about a stormtrooper almost killing her but Kylo killing the trooper first. Had she had a vision of the future in her dream? If anything, it only made her angry that she wasn’t able to stop him from killing her squad. She felt personally responsible for their deaths. Irritated, she reached out to him with her mind. Feeling him put a up block, she pushed harder.

Not now, he growled.

NOW! she pushed even harder, then felt a sharp pain against her knee, then her side, bringing her to the floor. Next she felt the same pain to her shoulder, causing her to cry out. It took her a moment before she could bring herself back up to the bed.

A few moments later the door to her cell opened and Kylo came limping in, but she could still tell he was angry. He took off his helmet, breathing heavily, “When I tell you to get out of my head, you GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” he yelled. “I almost lost that match and I can not lose to any of these pathetic imbeciles. Do you realized what that would cost me, what you almost cost me?”

“Do you think I care?” she countered, “You have a really bad habit of KIDNAPPING ME! If you wouldn’t kidnap me and HOLD ME AGAINST MY WILL I wouldn’t be in your head!”

“Oh really, then explain the other day?” the intensity in his eyes burned like fire.

“Explain why you dream about me,” she held his gaze with equal intensity.

“Explain why you dream about me,” he never let his eyes drop from hers.

“I don’t. I would never dream about you!” her eyes dropped to the floor.

“Your thoughts betray you,” he smirked at her, “and you are a terrible liar.”

“How do you know about my thoughts? I haven’t felt you in my mind,” she glared at him.

“While you were unconscious I looked around where I could,” he shrugged.

“How dare you!” she stepped forward and punched him in the jaw.

He held his hand up, holding her in place with the Force. “Enough of that. If you want a combat match I will give you one, but you will not like the results.”

“Let...me...GO!” she said through gritted teeth.

“Behave or I will have you restrained,” he released her.

“You can’t go into other people’s minds and just steal their thoughts!” she exclaimed.

“Actually, yes I can and I do. I told you before I can take whatever I want and I do. There is no one in the galaxy that can stop me,” he sounded arrogant and it fueled her anger.

“I stopped you last time and this time you had to have me unconscious to steal my thoughts. I can stop you and you know it,” she was bold and defiant.

“Once. You have stopped me once. It will not happen again. I assure you of that,” He changed the topic of conversation. “Seeing as you are my guest again, dinner will be served soon. You will be served the same things I eat so you know you will be getting the best in nutrition this facility has to offer.”

“How warm and welcoming of you,” she muttered. “Could I be so lucky as to have you join me?”

“I will even deliver it myself if you wish,” he crossed his arms, not looking very inviting.

“I was being sarcastic,” she said.

“So was I,” he replied, putting on his helmet. “I suggest not communicating with me telepathically while you are here. It is not safe and it is not a good idea for a variety of reasons. For most of the day I am training, many times I am with Supreme Leader Snoke, none of those are good times to establish a link.”

“I felt some of the hits you took in your match. I’d like to avoid that,” she said wincing, as her side still hurt. “You go through that every day?”

“Not live training every day, but some sort of combat training. I frequently use droids but live training is the most effective. Practice is the only way to become more proficient in your weapon of choice or even hand to hand combat. Do you not practice with your lightsaber?”

“Of course, not just on actual people,” she frowned at the idea.

“Perhaps you can join me some time at a match,” he smiled at the thought of how repulsed she would be at the idea and smiled even broader that she couldn’t see his face.

She felt like he was mocking her, “No, I wouldn’t want to be a distraction, like I was today,” she looked at him defiantly.

“Dinner will be here shortly,” he abruptly turned around and exited the cell, the doors sealing shut behind him. Rey laughed to herself. If she was going to be trapped here, she might as well cause her captor some discomfort.

Kylo Ren stormed out of the holding cells to his chambers. He wasn’t angry enough to damage anything or throw his helmet across the room, but that girl was infuriating. It wasn’t that she had punched him in the face, which actually hurt a great deal more than he had expected from such a small girl. She hit him as hard as any man ever had, just with a much smaller fist. It was her last comment regarding his being distracted if she attended a match. He was irritated because he knew it was true. The simple truth of it irritated him to his core. She was still a weakness for him. A liability. He had done nothing to correct what Supreme Leader Snoke had warned him about before. No, he had actually done everything Supreme Leader Snoke had told him to do to make himself stronger and it did not work. Killing his father had made him even weaker, though if Snoke actually recognized that he did not know. 

The stark reality, no matter how strong the pull of the Light might be, was that he could never go back, at least not back home. If he left the First Order, Snoke would track him down and have him killed. He was where he was meant to be. Supreme Leader Snoke had told him his whole life he was meant for more than mere Jedi training, he was meant to rule the galaxy, but when would that happen? He felt his irritation start to rise to anger. He was being held back, again, just like at the Jedi Academy under Master Luke. Same thing, different Master. Someone always holding him back.

He thought about his plan to kill Snoke. He didn’t really have a plan, per se, just the strong urge to carry out a plan. He wondered if a plan was even necessary. The hardest part would be getting the old cretin off the throne in his front chamber room. He could just destroy the whole thing, bringing Snoke down with it and the proceed from there. Knowing it would be a power struggle from that point on, it would be which one of them would be stronger in the Force and who would kill the other first. While Kylo admittedly had weaknesses, they wouldn’t come into play in a duel against Snoke. He had plenty of hate and anger to pull upon for that.

It occurred to him that he never found out what Rey originally wanted when she called out to him telepathically. He had stormed in and not given her a chance to speak before going on a tirade. He thought about taking her dinner to her and asking her but decided against it. He could call her a guest all he wanted to but the hard truth was she was a prisoner and he needed to remember that. While being under no obligation to entertain her or otherwise, he still felt drawn to her. Weakness, he reminded himself. Weakness.

Back in her cell, Rey sat. And sat. And sat some more. She wasn’t even through day one and was already bored to tears. She was going to have to be nice to Kylo to be able to have something to do. She couldn’t imagine sitting her for days on end, with nothing to do. Even the prisoners the Resistance kept had vidscreens in their cells and books, received exercise time with good behavior. She had absolutely nothing.

She wanted to know why she was taken alive, brought here as a prisoner if the relic was the only thing Kylo was after. Assuming they were still looking for Luke Skywalker, she figured they would want to know where he was and while she had found him, he was still in his self imposed exile, contemplating what he was going to do next. She wished he realized how much he was needed. They probably would want the location of the Resistance base. She sighed. She didn’t know how long she could hold out against Kylo. Poe had told her about his interrogation and it sounded much more horrible than hers had. Poe sounded like he went through much more pain than she.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a guard bringing in her dinner. It certainly didn’t look like much. Two square biscuits and a ramekin of juice. “That’s it?” Rey asked. “That’s what Kylo Ren eats for dinner?”

“If that’s what he told you. Do you think any of us talk to him?” the guard sat the tray on the table that was bolted to the floor. Rey sat in the chair that was bolted to the floor next to the table but she was too short to lean all the way back so she had to sit on the edge. She took stock of her hopefully temporary residence. Cot bolted to the wall on one side, table and chair bolted to the floor on the other. Toilet in the back corner. About ten feet across and ten feet wide so not terribly small, not exactly a luxury suite either. She eyed the biscuits suspiciously, picking up one and taking a bite. They tasted about as good as they looked; mostly bland with a slightly sweet flavor. Very slight. The juice was at least palatable and she was able to wash the biscuits down with it. She thought someone in Kylo Ren’s position would eat a little better. This wasn’t much better than the portions she received on Jakku. She was full when she was done, however, so that was at least one positive thing. 

She went over to the cot, surprised at how thick the mattress was. The blanket was fairly soft, as well. Perhaps the benefits of being a guest rather than a prisoner, she thought with a wry smile. She sat down, pulling her knees up to her chest. She had a feeling she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So tell me, Kylo Ren, what are your objectives with the girl?” Supreme Leader Snoke leaned forward menacingly.

“First and foremost, my Lord, obtain the location of Luke Skywalker. Next obtain the location of the Resistance base. Lastly, show her the path of the Dark Side is her destiny,” Kylo looked up at his master for affirmation.

“Yes, my apprentice. What are you to do if you can not bring her to the Dark Side?”  
“Kill her,” Kylo replied, his voice sounding hollow.

“Is that hesitation I hear?” Snoke’s voice cut through him.

“No, master. She is nothing to me. Potentially useful but nothing beyond that,” Kylo buried his thoughts deep in his mind. “She is strong in the Force but if she can not be trained she is useless.”

“You are correct. She could be a powerful ally. I will leave that in your hands, my apprentice. Find her weaknesses and exploit them. I trust you will see this through,” Snoke leaned back.

Kylo took that as he dismissal. He turned to leave, but Snoke’s voice stopped him, “Kylo Ren.”

“Yes, master?”

“Be sure she does not exploit any of your weaknesses.”

Kylo looked down, behind his mask, “Yes, master,” he continued his walk out of Snoke’s chambers, for once not seething with anger. He wasn’t exactly happy but he wasn’t angry either. He was getting better and better at hiding his lies from his master. He smiled to himself. Considering the nefarious thoughts he continually had regarding his master, that was a exceptional skill to have and considering his thoughts about Rey, it was even more exceptional. He found himself heading for the holding cells, against his better judgement.

Walking past the guards, knowing they wouldn’t say anything to him, he went to Rey’s and opened the door. She was sitting on the bed, leaned against the wall. She looked him up and down, “What? You can’t knock?”

“Clearly the door is not built for that,” he paused, not sure if she was joking or not. No one joked with him. Ever. “I wanted to see if you needed anything before I go to bed.”

“If you’re being honest, yes, a couple things. A vidscreen would be nice.”

He didn’t answer immediately, “Normally that’s not something prisoner’s here receive.”

“Yes,” she said, “but I’m your guest.”

Crossing his arms, he replied, “Fine. I’ll bring one tomorrow. What else?”

“I thought you said I would be eating the same thing you do? Two biscuits and some juice?” she made a face.

“That is what I eat. Those are specially formulated to have the precise amount of vitamins and minerals necessary for high intensity combat and physical training. The juice provides what the the squares do not. It is necessary sustenance. I eat that four times a day.”

“It tastes like bantha fodder,” Rey made another face.

“Other prisoners get food that is less nutritious and tastes worse. Actually, we rarely have prisoners so be happy you’re alive to be a prisoner,” Kylo’s voice took a harsh tone.

“You don’t want to kill me or you would have when you’ve had the chances,” she stood up from the bed and approached him. “For some reason, you want me alive.”

“You have valuable information that the First Order can use. Don’t overestimate your worth,” he held up a hand. “Don’t hit me. You’ll break your hand this time.”

“Take your mask off,” she said.

He did so, if for no other reason to see what she was going to do, “Still not a creature.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me I’m not worth anything to you,” she couldn’t believe the words coming out of her own mouth.

He shortened the distance between them, standing directly in front of her. He took her chin in his hand, lifting it up so he could look into her eyes, the leather from his glove warm against her skin. Rey’s breath caught in the back of her throat as she looked into his dark eyes. He finally spoke, “You mean absolutely nothing to me,” and he removed his hand from her chin and lightly brushed her cheek.

“You bastard,” she whispered. 

He put his helmet back on, preparing to leave, “You’ll have your vidscreen tomorrow. Never say I’m not a gracious host,” he turned his back on her and left her standing in the in the middle of the cell.


	6. Chapter 6

Rey stood in the middle of the cell, trembling. Not knowing what to expect, she hadn’t anticipated that. She felt like she was going to throw up. She felt sad and angry and upset and confused and the room felt like it was starting to spin so she sat down on the bed and tried to get her bearings but couldn’t. What was this? Never before had she felt anything like this in her life. She had never felt so hurt like this, but why? When he touched her face it felt like electricity danced on his fingertips. Now that she knew what it felt like, she wanted more of it. She wondered what it felt like to be held, wrapped in his arms with her head resting on his chest. This was insanity! She felt tears start to slide down her cheeks. Holding her head in her hands, she began to sob in earnest. The only thing she knew for sure is that she wanted the pain to stop. It wasn’t a physical pain, but it was almost intense enough to be.

Feeling a strong gathering of the Force, Rey hastily wiped her eyes. In front of her, a familiar ghostly figure stood in her cell. 

It was Revan, “My child, your pain can be felt through the Force.”

“I have this aching, hollow feeling in my chest and my stomach feels like it weighs a thousand pounds,” she replied, “I lost the relic, I’m trapped here and…” she stopped.

“Force bonds do strange things to a person. Everything with that person is intensified, deeper. Joy knows no bounds, desperation no depths. Whatever you feel for that person is magnified. Do you understand?”

Rey shook her head, “I don’t understand anything right now.”

“Love is never easy to understand,” Revan began, but Rey interrupted him.

“I do not love that man, that monster! No!” she shook her head and covered her eyes.

“But you do, my child,” he said, “I can see it in the Force around you. You can’t deny it.”

“No,” she said as tears started to stream down her face again, “I thought love was beautiful?”

“Love can be one of the most beautiful things in the universe and it can also be one of the most brutal and harsh things. It can lift you up to the highest peaks and drag you down to the deepest pits. It can be alluring and ugly and all these things at the same time.”

“Whatever this is, it hurts like hell,” she muttered.

“There is still Light in him,” Revan said.

“I know,” Rey whispered, “I can feel it.”

“Then lead him to it. It can be done. My love did it for me and I, in turn, did it for her,” Revan continued before she could ask any questions, “So Kylo Ren has the relic?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. I’m a terrible guardian. I lost it after only two days,” Rey felt tears building up again.

“No, my child, you are up against a formidable foe and right now you are still foes no matter what you are feeling. You are strong in the Force and cunning; you will find a solution to this,” Revan faded, leaving her alone in her cell. 

Exhausted, she fell back on the bed and closed her eyes. _How did this happen? Why did this happen?_ Her feelings made no sense. She knew there was Light still in him, she could feel it, but he was a killer. Who knew how many thousands had perished by his hand. He tortured and tried to kill her friends and murdered his own father. He was dark, cold, and dangerous yet she couldn’t deny that she was drawn to that darkness. Something about it called to her. She liked that he was dangerous and unpredictable. She liked that people were scared of him and she liked the power that he commanded. She also hated admitting any of that. Now she understood the warnings she had received about the Dark Side. She saw how seductive it could be. Holding fast to the Light would be the only way to get through this. Revan had said to lead Kylo to it, but she worried that Kylo might lead her to the darkness first.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kylo Ren made it from the holding cells to his chambers as quickly as possible without running. Once again, he was thankful that no one ever spoke to him. He entered the front room of his quarters and flung his mask off. Breathing heavily, he ran his hand through his hair. _It’s for the best_ , he thought. The truth will only bring pain and distraction, neither of which had a place in his life. He needed to stay away from her. Maybe he should just take her to Snoke and let him deal with her. His stomach rolled at the thought. Feeling dizzy, he sank into the closest chair. He just told the girl that he dreamed about every night since he first saw her, the girl that he shared a Force bond with, that she meant nothing to him. Nothing. The girl he saved twice because the thought of her not being in the universe made his chest hurt. The more he had tried to control his thoughts about her the more he could not and it was driving him mad. The girl. Rey. Her name was like a song in his dark mind.

Kylo felt a shift in the Force and an apparition appeared in the room. It was a woman with brown hair and grey eyes. Kylo eyed her suspiciously, “Who is here to haunt me?”

“I am not here to haunt you, young one, merely to advise. Your pain could be felt through the Force,” she gently replied.

“I have been in pain many, many times and never before has a ghost seen fit to visit me.”

She said, “You’ve never been in pain like this before and you’ve never been in a Force bond like this before. You need guidance.”

“No,” he said, “I need to control my emotions like a proper Knight of Ren. That will help control the Force bond.”

“There is no controlling a Force bond. You are bound to Rey, and she to you, and it will only get stronger as time progresses.”

“You speak as if you have experience with such things,” Kylo regarded her with suspicion.

“I do. I had a Force bond with my husband,” she smiled with quiet regard.

“Wait, who are you?” Kylo asked. “Jedi aren’t allowed to marry.”

“I’m Bastila Shan, my husband was...”

“Revan,” Kylo interrupted, “I’ve studied both of your histories, focusing on military and warfare, both Light and Dark Sides but I doubt you’re here to discuss battle strategy with me.”

She smiled, “You’re very perceptive, young one.”

“So why are you here?” he asked.

“I felt your pain through the Force and you remind me so much of my husband, I had to offer my counsel.”

“There’s nothing to counsel. The pain is my own to bear, as it always has been and always will be. I am always tormented by pain in one form or another. I draw power from it,” his eyes looked dark and cold.

“You’re drawn to her, yet you push her away, such contradictions,” she said.

“I have orders to carry out. Feelings are not part of those orders. Feelings are not part of my world,” his voice was flat, emotionless.

“You say that despite the truth,” Bastila chided him.

“The truth? And what good does the truth do me?” he exploded. “The truth that reminds me that I’ve dreamed of her every night, every single night, since I first saw her on Takodana. The truth that ever since I carried her to my ship I’ve wondered what it would be like to have her in my arms again, only awake and willing. The truth that every speck of stardust that makes up my soul longs to feel her fingertips against my skin. The truth that I want her here with me by her own accord and not as my prisoner! The truth” he emphasised, “is that none of this will ever happen because we are on two very different and separate paths that will only intersect as enemies, not allies. Yes, I love her. I have loved her since I first saw her, even if she was trying to kill me. I loved her fire and her anger and her hatred. Her darkness is beautiful but she will never embrace it and so she will never embrace me!” He stopped, desperation and anger swelling inside him.

“Maybe it is time for you to come to the Light?” Bastila said softly.

Kylo’s head shot up, “No. It’s not possible. Not now,” _not ever_ , he thought.

“Your path will become clear when it is time, but now you should go to her, tell her what you just told me,” her voice was still soft and gentle.

“I’m positive she doesn’t want to see me right now,” his voice was resolute.

“Go to her,” Bastila said as she faded away.

Kylo shook his head, glad to see the ghost go. He didn’t need a lecture from an apparition on the merits of the Light and Dark Sides, the apparition having been on both notwithstanding. The only way, in his mind, that he would ever be with Rey was to bring her to the Dark Side and it was one of this orders from Snoke anyhow. He wondered if there was some way, any way, to show Rey the true power and the freedom of the Dark Side over the Light. The beauty of fully giving in to your emotions, not worrying about restraint, channeling that into the Force and harnessing the power it generated. The truly powerful emotions of hate, anger and sadness. He thought of the old Sith code:

 _Peace is a lie, there is only passion._  
_Through passion, I gain strength.,_  
_Through strength, I gain power._  
_Through power, I gain victory._  
_Through victory, my chains are broken._  
_The Force shall free me._

No truer words had ever been written, as far as Kylo was concerned. As his power grew, he would gain victory; victory over his master, and his chains would be broken and the Force would set him free. He would answer to no one. If only he could convince Rey to be at his side, they could rule the galaxy together. She would be his equal, never bowing down to him, never calling him master even though he would be her teacher. Such childish dreaming, he thought. Wishing he could just rid himself of these feelings, he stretched out his long legs and ran his hand through his hair. He wanted to go back to Rey, to apologize, but part of him said to just leave it alone. His impulsive, reckless side ignored that.

He reached out to her with his mind. She wasn’t asleep, but she didn’t answer him either. She also didn’t try to block him out of her mind. _Rey?_ Nothing. No response, no block, no acknowledgement. _Rey?_ He tried again with the same results. Was she ignoring him? He tried one more time, his temper starting to flare. Again nothing. No one ignored Kylo Ren. He stood up from his chair, grabbed his helmet, shoving it on his head a little too hard, which only served to irritate him further. He opened the doors to his quarters with the Force, not waiting for them to open automatically. He quickly made his way to Rey’s cell, no one on the evening shift giving him a second look. Ironically, this is when he wanted to be ignored.

He banged on the door to Rey’s cell loudly before entering. 

“Why are you beating the HELL out of the door?” she said, “You scared me half to death!”

“You told me to knock before coming in so I did,” he took his helmet off, dropping it on the floor. “Why were you ignoring me?”

“That’s not what I meant by knocking and I was ignoring you because I don’t want to talk to you!” exasperated she pushed a few stray hairs from her forehead.

“Then what did you mean by knocking? And you have no right to ignore me,” Kylo pointed at her.

“Don’t you point at me! By knocking, you knock then give the person a chance to answer. What if I wasn’t dressed and you walked in on me naked? And I have every right to ignore you. I’m under no obligation to acknowledge you,” she raised her chin in defiance.

“I will point at you if I so desire and why would you be naked in here? There’s no refresher and I’ve seen a naked human female before anyhow, so who cares? And you do not have any right to ignore me. I will not be ignored,” he crossed his arms.

“I might be naked because I’m going to bed and that’s a few less hours I’m wearing my clothes so they don’t stink because there is no refresher in here so I can’t take a shower! You will be ignored. You’re just not used to having someone that doesn’t cower before you.” 

“Maybe you should cower before me,” he moved towards her, grabbing her by the wrists and pinning them above her head, one of his hands covering both of hers and holding her hard against the wall. He stared deep into her eyes, his own dark and intense.

Rey gasped, “Ok, now you’re scaring me.” _Please don’t stop._

“I should scare you. You should be terrified of me,” he leaned in closer. _Don’t worry, I won’t._

“Maybe I am, a little,” she whispered, trembling.

His eyes continued to bore a hole in her, “Remember earlier how I said you meant nothing to me?”

A pained look crossed her face, “Yes.” she replied softly. Her eyes were guarded, but she refused to look away.

There was an unmistakeable vulnerability behind her look that made it hard for him to concentrate.

“I lied. I was lying. Do you want to know the truth?” he lowered his voice to a whisper, “You mean everything to me.” 

He leaned down and kissed her. Hard. Her eyes opened wide in surprise but soon she found her lips parting with his. Their tongues met and Rey moaned softly, ever so slightly pressing her body into his. Kylo slid his free hand around her waist, holding her hard against his body. He made a growling sound as he moved to kissing her neck. The Force flowed through them and around them, making each movement more intense. 

“I hate you,” she whispered into his ear.

“I know,” he said, releasing her hands to cup her chin. He lifted her face to his, “I can give you the galaxy but I know you won’t take it.”

“I don’t need the whole galaxy,” she said softly.

“Then what do you need?” he asked.

She replied, “I need to go home.”

He sighed, “I can’t do that, Rey. You’ll have your vidscreen in the morning. I’ll have some holobooks dropped off, too,” he brushed his hand across her cheek. He stepped away from her, walking over to where he dropped his helmet. He put it on, preparing to leave the cell, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” she whispered with tears in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a shout out to my editor, Nikki Stiles. Thank you for your help!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers! We really appreciate your support so far and thank you so much! Now we have a question for you. How much smut do you want? How much lemony juicy goodness do you want in this story? Do you want it to be something your grandmother can read or something you'll want to clear out of your browser history when you're done? Tell us what you want to see in the comments! Thanks!

Kylo let the door to Rey’s cell close quietly behind him. It was probably the first time he’d ever resisted used the Force to slam a door closed, he mused. He was unsettled and irritated, but he wasn’t angry. That was also a revelation of sorts.   
  
_ I don’t need the whole galaxy _ . Her words echoed through his mind. For a deafening heartbeat he had thought she was going to say she only needed him.  _ How foolish! _ He berated himself. He started toward his quarters, his long strides covering the distance in record time. Once inside, he flung his mask off, as was his custom, and sank onto his sleeping mat, covering his face with his hands.   
  
_ I need to go home. _ Of course she wants to go home.  _ Why would she want to stay here and be my prisoner? _ he thought, petulantly. Not that he blamed her. He wouldn’t want to be a prisoner, either. Perhaps if she weren’t a prisoner, she would be willing to stay? How did he ever expect her to convert to the Dark Side if she viewed herself as captive against her will? He leaned back against his pillow, mulling this over. How could he convince Snoke to move her to regular quarters?  _ I shouldn’t have kissed her. _ This thought came unbidden into his mind, but it wasn’t untrue. What was he thinking?  _ She is a weakness!  _ He repeated it over and over.  _ She is a weakness. _ Every ounce of his training told him to eliminate her, and he couldn’t. He also couldn’t let Snoke know how much she meant to him. Snoke would undoubtedly exploit that information and use it to hurt them both. He couldn’t let that happen. Snoke needed to die. But how?

He rolled over on his mat and closed his eyes. The now familiar vision of Rey in a white dress came into his mind and for once, he didn’t fight it. Perhaps sleep was best. It was rare that he could get anything closely resembling rest. The thought lurked at the back of his mind that he should be more angry, but he couldn’t muster the energy to be angry at her. He wanted her here on her own terms. He wanted her in his arms. He had to find a way to turn his weakness into an advantage, since it was clear that he wasn’t going to be able to control these feelings any other way.  
  
Suddenly he had a thought, and acting on instinct, he pushed his vision of Rey in a white dress into her mind.  
  
_Wha….What is this?_ Rey was surprised and didn’t welcome the interruption of her own thoughts.

_ It’s the dream I have about you every night. You asked about it. I’m showing you. _ He answered.

She was silent for a moment, taking in the scene. She was wearing a flowing white dress. Kylo was on his knees in front of her, his head against her chest. She was kissing the top of his head, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, her fingers in his hair.

_ Where are we? _ She asked, finally.

_ I’m not really sure. _ He replied.  _ It changes from night to night. _ _  
_

_ You dream this every night? _

_ Yes. _

His answer was flat, devoid of feeling, and she wasn’t sure how to take it. Why was he showing her the dream? He had told her that creating a link was dangerous with Snoke within distance and able to push into their connection.

_ I thought you said it was dangerous to make a connection? Why did you do it now? _

_ It is dangerous. Goodnight, Rey. _

With that, the connection broke and Rey’s consciousness returned to her cell. She sat up on her cot, rubbing her forehead with her hand.  _ Of all the men in all of the galaxy _ . She thought soberly.  _ What the hell was that, anyway? _

* * *

“Supreme Leader, I’d like to move the prisoner to, er, more comfortable quarters,” Kylo Ren paused to see what the reaction would be from his master.

“More comfortable quarters? For a prisoner? What are you thinking, my apprentice?” Snoke peered at him with suspicion.

“I think if we are to lure the girl to the Dark Side, it might be easier to do so if she feels more comfortable here, less like a prisoner and more like a guest. Despite growing up as a filthy scavenger on Jakku, she has come to appreciate things such as a daily shower. Her current conditions do not offer that,” Kylo replied. He woke up this morning with a revelation. Well, two revelations, the first being that he had slept through the night. That in itself was a little unnerving, but not unwelcome. He couldn’t remember the last time he had actually gotten a good night’s rest, and it was doing wonders for his mood today. He had said good morning to a stormtrooper on his way to Snoke’s chambers, catching him so off guard that he walked into a wall. He chuckled to himself, thinking that he may be even more frightening to people when he was unpredictably friendly. They surely thought he had gone completely mad. The second revelation would hopefully convince Snoke to move Rey.

“I am well aware of her current conditions,” snapped Snoke, “Where do you suggest moving her?”

“The quarters next to mine are empty. She would, of course, still be locked in with guards posted outside of the doors, but it would be an improvement over her current situation,” he held his breath as he waited for his master’s reply.

“Of course the quarters next to you are empty. No one wants to live next to you because of your infamous temper. You must continue to work on that. While using your anger to strengthen yourself in the Force is necessary, you must also control it.”

“Yes, master,” Kylo looked down at the floor as he knew Snoke was right.

“You have only had one staff member willing to live next to you, a radar technician, but he did not last very long. I assumed you killed him but I never heard what actually happened. Usually Hux tells me when you…..eliminate…..his employees. You must learn to control these urges. Save them for battle where they are needed,” Snoke looked at him sternly, “As for the girl, if you want to move her there, then do so. Have you made any progress in extracting any information from her?”

“No, my Lord. She is still very defiant and uncooperative. I feel any heavy handed tactics will backfire against us if we are truly trying to lure her to the Dark Side. I think,” Kylo paused, not sure he should reveal the next bit of information.

“Go on,” Snoke stroked his chin.

“I think the girl may have...feelings. For me.” Kylo instantly regretted saying it. He should have planned this out better.

“Really now?” Snoke said with a sinister laugh. 

“You have seen parts of the dream I have about her. It is a vision she doesn’t realize she shares with me when she sleeps. I believe it means she is attracted to me…” He let his voice trail off, hoping Snoke believed him.

“And do you have those feelings in return, my apprentice?”

“Of course not,” he scoffed, “She is the enemy.”

“Yet you had compassion for her at one point,” Snoke reminded him.

“And that point is gone,” Kylo shoved every thought about Rey into the deepest part of his mind. “However, If I can make her believe that the attraction is mutual, I will be able to turn her to the Dark Side, and we will have all the information we require to find Skywalker and crush the Resistance.” He finished his pitch, hoping it was working.

Snoke was silent for several moments, thinking over the things that Kylo had said. He tried to push into Kylo’s mind to find a lie, but Kylo kept corners of his mind hidden, and Snoke found nothing of value to him. Kylo cunningly offered up falsified bits of his mind, showing Snoke an image of Rey sharing his dream. It wasn’t altogether untrue. Hopefully Kylo’s false memories would convince Snoke. For good measure, he made it seem as though he were trying to hide these memories.

“Women have always been a fickle sort, acting on  _ emotions _ .” He said the word with distaste. “It is keen of you to see this and use her weakness to your advantage. We need that information, sooner than later, Kylo Ren. I am leaving this in your hands. We need to find Skywalker and I feel she already has. He could be with the Resistance already. She can answer those questions for us. We need to know the location of their base. Use whatever tactic necessary to obtain this information. I would say use your charming personality but I do not want you to fail,” Snoke waved him out of his chambers.

“Thank you, my Lord,” Kylo rose from one knee and left Supreme Leader Snoke’s lair. This was one of the few times he left his master in a good mood, rather than wanting to kill someone. He had succeeded in his plan of having Rey closer to him now he just had to figure out how to lure her to the Dark Side.

* * *

A vidscreen and three holobooks had been delivered to Rey’s cell, but not by Kylo Ren. They were brought with her breakfast by one of the guards who seemed confused by the situation but didn’t ask. They knew she was under the watch of Kylo and they knew better to say anything, even if it was to her.  Around here, it wasn’t about just keeping your job, it was about keeping your life.

The vidscreen was preloaded with various training videos for stormtroopers. Rey snorted. Not exactly what she was hoping for but she guessed it was better than nothing. She could probably get a good laugh out of them, at the very least. The holobooks might be slightly more interesting, though still not topics she would pick for herself. History of the Sith, History of the Empire… _.those are sure to be an exciting read _ , she thought, rolling her eyes. The last one didn’t have a title on the cover page. She activated it and flipped to the next page, finding a picture of a figure in all black, with what seemed to be a control panel on their chest and wearing a mask equally, or perhaps more frightening, than the one Kylo Ren wore. Rey looked at the bottom of the page. The inscription read, “Darth Vader”. So this was the legendary Sith lord and Kylo’s grandfather. She shuddered. She wasn’t sure she wanted to read this one at all, yet part of her was curious about the man behind the mask. She wondered what drove him to the Dark Side. Obviously he wasn’t born Darth Vader so what led him down the path that ended with turning to the Dark Side? Maybe she wanted to read this more than she realized. She sat down on her bed and flipped to the next screen.

She wasn’t prepared for a picture of him as a child, as Anakin Skywalker, with Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn. He was born a slave and Qui-Gon had won his freedom, but was unable to free his mother. From that point on, however, until his last day, he was an apprentice and called someone master. Rey shook her head. This poor kid was doomed from the start. Qui-Gon was killed in a battle with Darth Maul so Anakin became the padawan of Obi Wan Kenobi. She listened to audio journals where Anakin expressed frustration with his training, wanting to learn more but feeling like he was being held back. He also expressed his love for a Senator from Naboo, Padme Amidala, along with his lament that Jedis are not allowed to have such feelings. There was only one picture of Padme, from their secret wedding day on Naboo, Padme’s home planet. She wondered why there weren’t more pictures of Padme; she was beautiful. 

Anakin’s audio journals stated that not long after the wedding Padme became pregnant. Anakin began to have nightmares about her dying in childbirth. He had recently discovered upon traveling back to his home planet of Tatooine that his mother was abducted by Sandpeople. He tried to save her but he arrived at the Sandpeople settlement too late and she died just after he arrived. The thought of also losing Padme filled him with dread. He spoke of his fears to his mentor, Senator Palpatine of Naboo, who was eventually declared Emperor. Palpatine mentioned that a Dark Side user, Darth Plagueis, had such a knowledge of the Dark Side that he could keep the ones he cared about from dying. Rey put the holobook down. Vader turned to the Dark Side because he was afraid of losing his wife. He fell because he loved her so much he couldn’t imagine being without her. This was not what Rey was expecting to find out. She hadn’t even reached the part in the holobook where he officially turned to the Dark Side but she knew the end of the story. Everyone in the galaxy knows the end. She wondered if anyone realized that Vader wasn’t led to the Dark Side by greed or lust for power, as many automatically assumed. He just wanted to save his wife and unborn child, or more accurately, though he didn’t know at the time, children. Padme was pregnant with twins.

Anakin’s last audio entry speaks of the Jedi Council via Obi Wan asking him to spy on Palpatine and how he feels torn between two friends. That was the last audio entry from Anakin; the rest were articles and other various entries about events that happened later. After declaring his allegiance to the Sith Lord Darth Sidious, Emperor Palpatine, he led an assault on the Jedi Temple, where all the Jedi were killed, including the younglings. Rey shuddered. The desperate lengths of a desperate man, but still an atrocity, no excuses. The next entry showed that when Vader arrived on Mustafar, he slayed the representatives of the Separatist Council. Following that, Padme arrived on the fiery planet of Mustafar to confront Anakin, now Darth Vader, but Obi Wan stowed away on her ship. When he emerged from her ship, Vader accused Padme of betraying him and Force choked her until she was unconscious. Kenobi and Vader then had a vicious lightsaber battle, with Kenobi leaving Vader for dead, having cut off his left arm and both legs while lava flows caught him on fire. Emperor Palpatine arrived, found Vader, and took him to Coruscant for surgery. Vader was then born as he is recognized throughout the galaxy with his black mask and suit that kept him alive. Kenobi took Padme to the asteroid Polis Massa to give birth to the twins before her death. 

Rey put the holobook down on the bed. She was still having trouble wrapping her head around the idea of Vader as a human, a normal human being with normal emotions, even being in love with someone. The stories of Vader as Emperor Palpatine’s apprentice were those of a cold and calculating killer with no remorse for his actions and no emotions to speak of. Reading his history made Rey wonder if he ever thought of Padme when he was alone. Did she come to him in his dreams? Did he think of his mother before he went to sleep at night? Was he ever haunted by the things he did? She wondered how he felt when he discovered that his unborn child was alive and not only that, but there were two. Rey never thought she would  care to question the life of such an evil man. Was he really so evil? Clearly his actions were, but was the man himself entirely so? There were so many questions without answers. This left her also questioning her definitions of good and evil. She was starting to feel that perhaps things weren’t so black and white and there were grey areas in between. He clearly chose the wrong path, but she could see how desperation, and then grief, forged that path. There was obviously more to the man behind the mask than what most people realized.

Rey got up and grabbed her breakfast, the usual nutrition biscuits and juice. She had gotten used to them, no worse than the portions she had eaten for years on Jakku and they were more filling. She wondered what the Stormtroopers and officers ate. It couldn’t be any worse than what she was eating now. Maybe she could talk Kylo into a change. She was a guest, afterall. She snorted at that thought. A guest could at least take a shower. Granted, she had gone weeks at time on Jakku without bathing, but after joining the Resistance and having access to daily showers she discovered she much preferred cleanliness. Who wouldn’t? She would much rather smell like flowers than a Hutt.

Her thoughts drifted back to Kylo Ren, even though she didn’t want them to. Another man behind a mask. A man that could give her answers to questions she had about him, like was he haunted by the thing he has done? Does he think about his mother before he goes to sleep at night? Why did he kill his father? Rey’s hands balled into fists and her eyes welled up with tears as she thought of Han Solo and witnessing Kylo murder him. The senseless brutality of it made her sick. Does he think about  _ that _ before going to sleep every night? She crumpled up the styrofoam container juice container and threw it on the table with the tray made of the same material. Nothing hard so nothing could be used as a weapon. She wondered if she could shove the tray down Kylo’s throat. She smiled at her not so Light Side thoughts. Grey areas. Grey areas indeed.

* * *

 

If there was anything Rey was especially good at, it was counting days. It had been five days since she had last seen Kylo Ren. With every day that passed her mood turned darker. The more she thought about the death of Han Solo the more her anger built. When Kylo finally showed up, she didn’t even have a chance to ask where he had been before he told her to gather up her things.

“My things? What things?” she asked. “I don’t have any things. You took all of my  _ things _ .”

“Your vidscreen and three holobooks, unless you’d rather leave those,” he said dryly.

“Where are we going?” she demanded. She picked up the holobook without a title on the cover and followed him out into the hall. “And where have you been?”

“We are going to your new quarters and it is none of your business where I’ve been. I am not here to entertain you.” Shocked, she forgot her anger for a moment.

“New quarters? What do you mean?” she said, somewhat breathless. His legs were much longer than hers and she was struggling to match his pace without running.    
  
“You’re a bright girl, Rey.” his tone was sardonic, “New quarters means a new living space. I’m moving you out of the holding cells. You’ll have your own quarters in the officer’s wing.”

“Will I be able to come and go as I please?” she asked.

He sighed, “No, I can’t have you running amuck while I’m training and doing other tasks.”

“So I’m still a prisoner,” she said, her anger returning full force.

“Technically, yes, but you’ll at least have much better quarters and we’ll discuss more freedoms with me as your escort,” he glanced over at her, trying to gauge her reaction.

“Oh, great. I get to have a chaperone.” It was her turn to leverage sarcasm at him, “Will you hold my hand so I don’t get lost?” 

He turned abruptly to face her, mid stride, causing her to almost run into him, “Then sit in your room and rot or go back to the holding cells and rot  _ and _ stink. These quarters at least have a refresher. Right now you smell like a womp rat,” he was glad she couldn’t see his slight smile behind his mask, and annoyed that she wasn’t happier with the move. He’d never had so many conflicting emotions about a woman in his life. He turned on his heel again and continued down the corridor.

“I hate you,” she said, following again.

“I know,” he stopped in front of a room with two Stormtroopers standing in front, “This is it. The door is locked from the outside, two of these fine ‘troopers will be posted here at all times, partially for your own protection. I don’t want any of the resident idiots around here getting any ideas about harassing my guest,” he keyed in the code to enter. It was much larger than the holding cell, but not overly large. Her own quarters were twice this size, and brighter. Everything was a rather depressing shade of grey. There was a bed on one side of the room, a chair and table across from it, and a large vidscreen hanging on one wall. An open door showed the way to the refresher, a closet just outside of it.

“Why do I have a closet?” she asked. “I don’t have any clothes here.”

“You’ll find seven outfits in there, the same as what the Stormtroopers wear under their armor. There’s a bin in the closet for dirty clothes, a droid will collect it weekly and bring back clean uniforms. You will never be without clean clothes. Laundry services are very efficient.”

“What if I don’t like those clothes?”

Kylo rolled his eyes behind his mask. “Then have what you’re wearing cleaned and stay stark naked in the meantime. I really don’t care.” The thought appealed to him more than he cared to admit.  _ Weakness!  _ he reminded himself, and pushed the thought aside.

She blushed and changed the subject quickly, “Can I watch the HoloNet in here?”

Kylo shrugged, “I have no idea. I don’t watch it.” 

“Do you even have one in your room?”   
  
“Of course not,” he scoffed. “I don’t have time for such distractions.”

“Oh, I forgot,” she said mockingly, “the great Kylo Ren never has down time.”

“If I happen to have down time, as you call it, I either meditate or read, two things I find relaxing.”

Rey sat the holobook down on the table in the room, “I’ve seen how you meditate and that is not relaxing,” she said with a slight laugh. “So what do you read?”

“Mostly military history and strategy books. Biographies or autobiographies from great military leaders,” he paused. “Why are you even asking?”

She shrugged, “Maybe I’m curious about the man behind the mask. I have other questions, ones that aren’t so easy.” she glanced at the holobook.

“I’m sure you do,” he said quietly, following her gaze. “Luckily, I’m not obligated to answer any of them.”

Her anger flared again. He was so mercurial, swinging from idle chatter to rudeness in a matter of seconds. “I suppose that’s the answer I should expect from a coward that killed his own father.”

Heat rose up the back of Kilo’s neck, “Yes, I killed my father and I am many things but a coward is not one of them.” 

“You were a coward when you refused to disobey Snoke’s order to kill him,” Rey seethed.

Kylo began to pace the room, his voice rising, “You do not understand the depth of the situation, Rey.”

“What is there to understand? You killed your father! The man who still loved you despite everything you had done. He just wanted you to come home!” Rey’s voice was at a shout now.

“If he wanted me to be home so badly, THEN WHY DID HE SEND ME AWAY?” he roared, pulling his lightsaber from his belt and turning it on.

“Oh no, you are NOT trashing this room before I even get to spend one night in it!” she stepped towards him and grabbed his wrist.

He wrenched out of her grasp, turned his lightsaber off and threw it into the wall, “Do not judge me until you know the full story.”

“Never having a father, and always wanting one, it’s very difficult to grasp what kind of ‘full story’ could possibly include murdering your own father.” she snapped. She thought about picking the lightsaber up and turning it on him, but knew that as soon as she started toward it, his long strides would cover the distance faster and she’d be in trouble.

“Maybe one day I’ll tell you, if you ever decide you truly want to know the man behind the mask, not just what he does for fun, but truly  _ know me _ ,” he emphasized the last words for clarity, “and I will tell you this, because you may not have seen the look on my face after I pierced Han Solo,” he swallowed, “my father. Snoke told me Vader fell because of emotion, sentiment….. _ weakness! _ Had he killed his son, the Empire would have prevailed. I was encouraged to not fall prey to the same thing. Killing my father was supposed to make me stronger, but it hasn’t. It’s only made me weaker. If I could change places with my father, I would.” hot angry tears pushed at the back of Kylo’s eyes and he fought to control his emotions, thankful that she couldn’t see his face through the mask. He had advanced toward her as he spoke and now had her backed up against the wall. He placed both hands on either side of her head and leaned in close to her face, his voice trembling barely above a whisper “Do not judge me, Rey, assuming that you know everything when you know  _ nothing. _ ” 

Rey didn’t know how to respond. She hated him for what he had done, yet she had compassion for him. Everything about him and the way she felt about him confused her. She thought about Darth Vader and grey areas and wondered if Kylo Ren had his own grey areas to traverse. She suddenly had a compulsion to reach out and touch him, but before she could he stepped back and turned away from her, retrieving his lightsaber from the floor and fastening it to his belt.   
  
“Hey, listen…” her tone was softer, almost apologetic, “why don’t you have dinner with me tonight? Maybe something besides those biscuits?” she said with a small smile.

“You want to eat dinner with a murderer?” He sounded weary; resigned. He knew he could never undo what he had done. He also doubted that she would ever understand. He had hoped that giving her the holobook about his grandfather would help her to see….but maybe he was wrong. Maybe she would never see. Perhaps she was like his mother - possessed with too much Light to ever see the grey. This would make turning her to the Dark Side all but impossible, and the thought made his bones feel heavy.

“No,” she said after a moment, “I want to have dinner with the man behind the mask.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is explicit! If you don't like the sexy time, skip this one. Discord and mayhem will return in Chapter Nine!

Kylo paced the room. He had showered and put on the black pants and long sleeve shirt that he always wore under his robes. He had several which were cleaned in rotation. A fresh set lay on the chair, but he wasn’t sure if he should wear it or not.

_I want to have dinner with the man behind the mask_ she had said, and that’s what he wanted to give her. He didn’t understand why he wanted to please her so much. It was frustrating, to say the least. His palms began to sweat again and he cursed under his breath. This female was more trouble than she was worth, he was sure of it.

Yet, he couldn’t kill her, and he couldn’t stay away from her. _Weakness!_ He had said this to himself so many times that it was losing its meaning. He had to find strength in his connection to her; surely it must be there. He felt calmer when he was with her and calmer when he left her. Dreams about her had allowed him a luxury he hadn’t experience in years - sleep. Thoughts of others harming her had fueled his training battles lately making him deadlier than ever. Surely these things could be considered strengths.

It had been three days since she had asked him to have dinner with her. He had declined her invitation to have dinner that evening telling her he wanted time to think about things. He really had needed time to gather the necessary items. He knew she wasn’t pleased with the monotony of biscuit meals. He had once heard his mother tell a story about a time that she and Luke Skywalker, his uncle, had eaten Kommerken steak and ootoowergs on a visit to Mimban. He knew that the cafeteria where the Stormtroopers ate their meals had a food synthesizer that belonged to that pretentious bastard, General Hux. He had taken far too much pleasure in relieving Hux of the food synthesizer and the ingredients he needed to make the Kommerken steak and ootoowergs. He smiled to himself at the thought of Hux searching for his food processor, unable to find it. He wondered if he would run to Snoke, crying about the precious thing being missing. He’d really be cross when he discovered his favorite cask of Corellian wine was missing, as well.

He had prepared everything. The steaks and ootoowergs were ready. Corellian wine and two glasses sat on the tray. He didn’t dare to reflect on how much care and time he had put into this meal. To do so would be to admit to himself just how much he cared for Rey and there was still a part of him that considered this an immense weakness.

_I want to have dinner with the man behind the mask._ Fine. If she wanted dinner with him, he would leave his over garments and just wear his black pants, shirt, and gloves - similar to the outfit she would be wearing, as those were the clothes he had left to her in the closet in her room.

He picked up the tray and exited his quarters. Three long strides later he was at her door. Judging by their body language, the Stormtroopers guarding her door were thoroughly perplexed by his appearance. He was out of his usual garments, without his helmet, and holding a rather carefully arranged tray of odd foods. He raised an eyebrow at them, challenging them to speak a word about his raiments. Making the only intelligent choice, they stepped aside without saying anything. He knocked on her door and keyed in the code so she could answer it herself, and then he waited.

Several heartbeats later, she opened the door. Kylo immediately noticed that her black Stormtrooper pants and shirts fit her exquisitely. Perhaps too well. The pants hugged her hips, accentuating her small waist and the shirt… He shook his head to clear his thoughts, and then realized he’d been staring at her for several seconds without saying anything.

“Uh, hello.” he said slowly.

She beamed up at him. “Hi. Did your eyes get their fill? Would you like to come in? I can’t believe you actually knocked. What do you have on the tray? Where is the rest of your outfit? I like you in just the black clothes…” she trailed off, realizing she was rambling.

It was true, she _did_ like him in the black clothes. Without the helmet and other garments he usually wore, he was much less intimidating. At least he would be if she ever found him intimidating. She didn’t, but he was very attractive all the same.

“Er…” he wasn’t sure where to start with her barrage of questions, so he decided to just run down the list, artfully forgetting her first question. “Thank you for inviting me in. I knocked because you’ve asked me to. I’ve brought Kommerken steak and ootoowergs for our dinner, and Corellian wine. The rest of my garments are in my room; you asked for dinner with ‘the man behind the mask’ and here I am.”

She gaped at him, her mouth hanging open. “Did you say Kommerken steaks and ootoowergs?” She peered over the edge of the tray, noticing it’s contents for the first time.

“Yes. Does this not meet your approval? My mother once told a story about a meal that she shared with my uncle on Mimban. I recall her speaking of it fondly and thought you might….”

“Holy shit. This is real food. Kommerken steak, no less.” she beamed up at him and smiled. It was one of the few genuine and carefree smiles she had given since being brought here as his captive. “Thanks, Ben.”

His name slipped out before she realized what she had said. His eyes frosted over instantly.

“Don’t call me…”

“I know, I’m sorry,” she said hastily. “It just slipped. I always think of you as Ben; I don’t really think of you as Kylo because I know there is good in you and this…..” her hand swept up and down indicating his lack of uniform and the tray of food, “...this is a very Ben thing to do, I believe. Not a very Kylo thing.”

He stepped in, letting the door shut behind him and mulled this over for a few seconds as he walked toward the table in the center of the room. She might be right but he wasn’t about to say that to her. This wasn’t the Light in him; Jedi weren’t allowed to feel love. This wasn’t the Dark in him, either, though...it was something in between; a grey area. He sighed. He was growing tired of grey areas.

“You can….” he hesitated for a moment and then decided to go for it, “you can call me Ben tonight, and tonight only, if you would like. I suppose this isn’t a very ‘Kylo thing to do’ as you put it. You asked for dinner with the man behind the mask. I’m not sure that man is Ben anymore than he is Kylo, but I don’t have a third name to give you.”

“Would you like to have a seat?” she asked softly,  motioning toward the chair next to him.

He wasn’t sure how she had done it, but she had managed to get a second chair for the small table in her room. He’d have a stern conversation with the Stormtroopers later. They weren’t to be beguiled by her charm into giving her….things.

“What is wrong with you now?” she asked, noting his sour look.

“Where did you get the second chair?”

“Oh, that.” she giggled nervously, “I got it from one of the droids. I...er….I hid mine in the refresher and told the droid I was missing a chair, so it brought me a new one.”

“You hid the…..” he raised an eyebrow and shook his head at her. “I’ll have to keep better watch over you. Next thing I know you’ll tell the droid you lost your lightsaber and it will bring you a new one.”

“Hey!” her face lit up “Good idea!”

“No!” he put his face in his hands, “Dammit, Rey. You cannot have weapons. You’re a prisoner.”

It was her turn to have a sour look. “I know what I am, thank you.” she over enunciated each word for emphasis.

He set the tray down on the table, placing a plate in front of each chair, and an empty glass beside each plate. He produced utensils from his pocket and laid out napkins, laying the utensils on top. He filled the glasses with wine and set the tray aside. He motioned for Rey to sit and once she had done so, he also sat.

She looked over the spread he had set out. Tears swam in her eyes and she was suddenly overcome by emotion. Love for him and the kindness he was doing her filled every inch of her being. This was easily the nicest meal she’d ever had. Sometimes on Jakku she could trade for a rare jogan fruit or other edibles besides portions, but as much as she loved the sweet taste of jogan fruit, they were nothing compared to this.

“Ben, I….” she looked up into his face, her eyes earnest, “Thank you for doing this. I don’t even know what to say. This is the nicest meal I’ve ever had. This is not what I was expecting when I asked you to have dinner with me.”

“Are you pleased?” he smiled a bit at her, his usual brisk and icy persona thawing slightly.

“Very pleased,” she smiled and reached out to squeeze his hand. He squeezed back and then released her hand.

“Eat,” he motioned toward her plate.

Rey picked up her utensils and cut a piece of the Kommerken steak. She slipped the first morsel into her mouth and closed her eyes, savoring the flavor. It was absolutely divine.

“There’s no in between with you, is there?” she said after she had swallowed her first bite and taken a sip of wine. The wine was just as delicious as the steak.

“What do you mean?” he had taken the first bite of his own dinner and also found it to be delicious. No wonder his mother told stories about it.

“You go from boring, bland nutrition biscuits to one of the finest meals available in the galaxy.” she used her hand to gesture toward the spread he had laid before them. “You can go from calm to irrationally angry in seconds, or the other way around. There’s no middle ground with you.”

Ben looked at her, his face giving away nothing. He found her statement rather ironic, considering all the grey areas he felt he had traversed lately. The dinner they were sharing was no small exception.

“You mean grey areas?” his voice was passive, but his eyes were bright with an unspoken challenge.

She looked at him, suspiciously narrowing her eyes, “Have you been in my thoughts?”

“Did you feel me there?” he asked.

“No,” she meekly replied.

“Then, no I have not been in your thoughts. Why would you ask that? Have you been thinking about grey areas?”

Rey suddenly became very interested in the hem of her shirt. “I... Well, I read the holobook you left about your grandfather and…” she looked up to meet his gaze, “Yes. I’ve been putting a lot of thought into grey areas, since you asked. Have you?”

Ben picked up his wine glass, pretending to study the contents. He took a sip to bide his time. The wine tasted sweet, but not overly so. It was actually quite good. He cautioned himself to not overindulge. The last thing he needed was to get drunk with Rey.

He set the wine glass back on the table, choosing his words carefully. “My grandfather chose the Dark Side because of the love he had for my grandmother, and his fear that she would die during childbirth; a fear that was realized in spite of all his best efforts to stop it. He stayed on the Dark Side because of the betrayal he was dealt by the Jedi. They’re not the saints everyone portrays them to be.”

It was Rey’s turn to study her wine and take a sip. She had read of the betrayal in the holobook, too. She wasn’t really sure yet how she felt about it. The Light Side was supposed to represent everything good in the galaxy, but she supposed that anything could be corrupted if the people involved were motivated by greed for power or vengeance. 

“Where did that book come from?” Rey asked after a moment.. “It’s not like any other holobook I’ve seen.”

“I put it together myself,” he replied. “I found all the pieces in the New Republic library and archives. I put them together in one source. No one noticed that the originals were gone.  No one else was really looking for the history of Darth Vader. It’s part of why my parents sent me away to train with Uncle Luke.”

“Because you were studying your grandfather? Or because they were afraid you would follow in his footsteps?” she sipped her wine again. The sweet brew was starting to make her feel a little fuzzy and warm around the edges. It had been quite some time since she had enjoyed a bit of wine.

“Both, apparently. I don’t think my mother or uncle ever looked at these materials.  All they ever saw was Darth Vader; they could never see him as Anakin once he had fallen from the Light Side. Granted, Vader fell from the Dark Side, too, at the end because of sentiment for my uncle and lost the Empire, which you think would mean something to people...I don’t know. I mean, it was a weakness, obviously,” he sighed in frustration. Commenting on his grandfather’s weakness to the woman who was his own weakness was the height of hypocrisy, was it not?

“ _Was_ his love for Padme a weakness?” Rey’s voice was soft, but the question was a challenge. 

Ben took another drink of his wine, “If you had asked me that several weeks ago, my answer would have been yes, without question.”

Rey raised an eyebrow, “And now?”

“Now….” he looked up from his glass, “Now, I don’t know, Rey.”

He stood to pace the room. She stayed seated not wanting to get in his way. He seemed to fill the small space with his frustration and uncertainty.   
  
“Dreams of you allow me to sleep, something I haven’t been able to do in many years. When I’m with you, and after I leave you, I feel calmer, more in control of my anger. When I’m training the thought of someone hurting you fuels my anger and makes me a better fighter. Even if you are a weakness, I cannot kill you and I cannot be away from you for very long. You are a grey area, Rey. You’re a weakness that gives me strength. I had no training to prepare for this,” he paused. “My orders also have no correspondence to any of that.”

“Your orders?” she tilted her head to one side, knitting her eyebrows together, “What exactly _are_ your orders?”

“Extract information about Luke Skywalker’s whereabouts, secure the location of the Resistance base, convert you to our cause, and if none of that can be done, kill you.” he tonelessly stated his orders from Snoke.

She took a long drink of her wine, “So, what happens if you fail?”

“He will probably kill me and then come for you. He’ll use whatever means necessary to get the information he’s looking for, and after that you might even succumb to his offer to join the First Order. He can be very convincing.” Ben had a grim look in his eyes.

“What about just leaving?” Rey asked softly.

“What do you mean?” Ben stopped pacing and looked at her.

“I can fly any ship in the hanger…”

“Rey, he would hunt us to the far ends of the galaxy. He would never stop looking for us.” his statement was emphatic. He knew Snoke too well. “Snoke has been in my head for years. _Years._ The only way we’re getting away from Snoke is if he is dead.”

“How many years?”

“I don’t remember a time when Snoke was not a voice in my head.”

“Even when you were a child?” she asked, a bit taken aback. No wonder he had converted to Snoke’s cause. She wondered if General Organa knew.

“Even as a child. A _small_ child. He would tell me I was special, different from the other children, that I shouldn’t play with them. My mother knew, but couldn’t do anything to stop it…”

Rey stared at him, aghast. “ _She knew?!_ ”

“Yes. She never told my father. She felt she could fight it herself, but in the end, Snoke won. It’s one of the many reasons I was sent away to train with my uncle.”

“ _That bastard!_ ” Rey exploded. “You were a _child!_ ” She stood and crossed the distance between them. Her heart was full of anger and compassion. In her head she saw Ben as a tiny child trying to fight against the evils of the Dark Side and Snoke without help from his parents, his mother believing she could overcome by herself, but losing in the end… and Ben. What kind of man would he have been had Snoke not poisoned his mind?

It didn’t take long for her short legs to carry her to Ben. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his chest. “I’m so sorry, Ben. You were just a child. Snoke is evil; a predator who went after an innocent little boy.”

Ben wrapped his arms around her automatically, savoring the way it felt to hold her. She had come to him this time, and the fact wasn’t lost on him. “What the pfassk does sorry do for anyone? It was a long time ago, Rey. There’s nothing to be done about it now.” He couldn’t remember a time when anyone had felt compassion for him. In that moment, the dam broke loose inside his heart. He was filled with love for her. She had been an orphan on Jakku for many years. She knew what it was to be abandoned as a child, to fend for herself. There were more things in common between them than he cared to admit...and now here she was, on the Grey Side with him. He didn’t think it possible, but the Force bond between them felt stronger. He could feel the energy wrapped around them. Before he could change his mind, he slid a gloved finger under her chin and lifted her face to his in a gentle kiss.

Rey’s entire world spun upside down. She felt the energy around them intensify. She wasn’t sure if it was him, or the wine, and she didn’t much care to figure out the difference. His mouth was gentle, but insistent, on hers. There was a hunger beneath his kiss that was almost her undoing. She wondered if he had ever been loved by anyone. She slid her hands up his chest and around his neck, deepening their kiss. He lifted her up and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. In three strides he had covered the distance to her bed, laying her down gently beneath him.

Her hair was down and had been damp when he arrived. As it dried, it became wavy; an ocean of golden brown. Now, on her bed, it spread out around her face, framing her delicate features. He took in the sight and for a moment he forgot to breath. She inched over on the bed, motioning for him to lay beside her.

“I still hate you,” she said as he slid over next to her.

“I know and it’s beautiful.” he kissed her forehead. When he pulled back she was giving him a strange look.

“Have you always been so odd?” she poked at his ribs, giggling a little.

“It’s part of your darkness. You try to deny it, but I find it beautiful,” he was very serious.

“Don’t ruin this with a Dark Side recruitment speech,” she reproached him with a baleful look.

“You don’t have to come to the Dark Side to acknowledge the darkness within you. It’s as much a part of you as your lightness. Imagine your abilities if you could control both equally.”

“Can _you_ control both equally? You barely acknowledge the Light within you, Ben. You become irrationally angry if anyone else tries to acknowledge it.” She crossed her arms over her chest. She was tiring of this constant inner battle between light and dark. Why did he have to do this _now_?

“That is not my destiny,” he hadn’t spoken of destiny since they had found the relic back on Maris III. “I think it might be yours. The perfect balance of light and dark.”

“Oh, damn you and your kriffing _destiny_ . Destiny is what we _make of it_ , Ben. You can just as easily choose to find a balance between the light and dark.” Rey shot up into a sitting position, her hair flying out around her to settle on her shoulders, her eyes bright with anger and frustration, “You wouldn’t be the first _Grey_ to walk the galaxy, Ben Solo, and neither would I!”

“And then what? Where am I to go? If I leave here, Snoke will hunt me down and kill me. If I go to the Resistance, they will put me on trial and execute me.  If I just wander the galaxy, there will be a price on my head from both sides. And the Light you see in me? It’s faint and growing fainter by the day,” he shook his head. “I am where I am supposed to be.”

“Are you, Ben? Look around you,” She motioned to the room, the dinner they had shared, the empty wine glasses on the table. “Do you really believe the light is growing more faint? There is light all around this room, your light.” she sat up on her knees on the bed and before he could rebutt her statement, she kissed him, hard. It reminded her of the first night he had kissed her, only this time she was the aggressor. She put her hands on his chest and pushed him back into the mattress with as much force as her tiny body could muster. His eyes registered shock, and then something else she hadn’t seen before. He grabbed her forearms and flipped her onto her back. Her hair fanned out beneath her again and he gave her a wicked smile.

“Enough,” he slid one leg between hers and pressed her into the mattress with his hips. He used one hand to pin both of her wrists above her head. He slid his other hand, still covered by his gloves, beneath the hem of her black ‘trooper shirt. The well worn leather was soft and warm against her skin. When he touched her, goosebumps spread from one end of her body to the other and back again. The look in his eyes was sinister, but it wasn’t born of the dark side. It wasn’t born of the light side, either. If only he could see himself as she saw him. Maybe he wouldn’t be so hell bent on all this unwavering ‘the dark side is my destiny’ talk.

She wrapped her free leg around his waist and used her body weight to roll him between her thighs, freeing her other leg. She then wrapped both legs around his waist and lifted her hips to meet his. He kissed her and again his kiss was filled with an intensity and longing that made her heart skip a beat.

She wriggled a wrist free and slid a hand under his shirt. He inhaled sharply. Her small hands were cool on his burning skin. He had always taken his liberty with willing women, and had been with many on the base. They found power sexy and far be it from him to deny them what they found interesting. It was well known that there was no romance to be had with Kylo Ren, and if any sort of drama started the woman was instantly demoted and transferred. Besides, being with a woman had been a means to an end, something to fill the void. When it no longer served its purpose, he no longer sought the company of women. He didn’t want to dwell on the fact that he had lost his taste for other women as soon as he’d seen Rey, even in spite of the fact that at the time she was kicking his ass.

Her hand slid up his back to his shoulders, then down again, sliding around to his stomach. She slid along the waistband of his dark pants, slipping a finger just underneath and tugging slightly. She freed her other hand, which he still had pinned above her head, and slid both of her hands to the hem of his shirt, lifting it over his head. He grabbed the shirt and tossed it aside, then grabbed the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head, tossing it as well. She hadn’t been afforded any other undergarments. She probably should’ve felt exposed, but she didn’t. Feeling his bare skin against hers felt right, like it was something they had been doing since time itself began. He lowered his head to trail kisses down her neck, sliding his warm leather hand to the small indent in her hip. He loved that it felt like a handle, fitting perfectly in his large grip. He slipped his fingers beneath the waistband and started to inch them down over the curve of her thighs.

“Um...Ben,” her voice was breathless and somewhat anxious.

He raised his head and stayed his hand, “Yes, Rey?” he looked up into her eyes.

“It’s... I’ve….Have you ever done this before?”

He studied her face for a moment, realization striking hard in the pit of his stomach. Reading between the lines he said softly, “You haven’t, have you?”

“Er….no,” she laid her head back on the bed, her cheeks flaming red.

He lowered his head and rested it on her collarbone, internally cursing himself. _Of course she hasn’t been with anyone. What was I thinking? Oh, this complicates things…_ He raised his head slightly, placing a gentle kiss on her skin where his head had just rested.

“To answer your question, Rey - Yes. I have done this before.”

Her eyes widened, “You...Was it...Um, recently?”

He smiled down into her face, “Not since I met you.”

Her eyebrows knit together, “Not since you met me? You mean...on Starkiller Base?” she reached up and touched the scar on his face.

“Yes. You remember, I assume, that you were kicking my ass.” he smiled, “You’re beautiful when you’re angry.”

She softly laughed, “Is that why you pick fights with me?”

“Yes,” his grin was mischievous, “Well, you also chose not to kill me, so I’m still here to pick fights with you.”

“I see. Next time I’ll reconsider my choice.”

“ _Next time,_ ” he growled at her playfully, “I won’t be so easy to defeat!”

“And I won’t be untrained!” she retorted.

He nipped at her jawline, using his teeth to gently graze down her neck to the soft spot where her neck and shoulders met. She tilted her head away to give him better access. Desire coiled in the bottom of her stomach and she squirmed beneath him, arching her back and needing to diminish the already small space between them.

“Who do you intend to train with, if I may ask?” he slid his hand under the band of her leggings again, pulling them down a few inches. He trailed his warm leather covered fingers across the exposed skin of her thigh, deliberately teasing her now, enjoying her building anticipation. He didn’t want to rush her, especially knowing it was her first time.

“I….” her thoughts had scattered like feathers in the wind. She tried to reign them back in. “You did leave me those Stormtrooper training videos.” She giggled at the thought, but still said, “I could use those...unless you’d rather just send me home to train with the Resistance.”

His growl this time was less playful as he raised his hand to cup her face. He lifted her chin until she looked into his eyes, “You will _not_ train with the Resistance.” his eyes blazed anger, “You will _not_ leave me to go back there.”

Even though his words should have angered her - she wasn’t much for being told what she would and would not do - her heart caught in her throat. All the same, she wasn’t giving in that easily.

“Possessive much?” she shot back.

Before she could challenge him further his mouth covered hers. His fingers slid from her face down her chest and grazed across her breast. Her entire body stiffened, the knot of desire balled in her stomach unfurling. He slid his fingers under the band of her leggings again and this time pulled them off completely. He was done playing games with her.  

He released her mouth and trailed kisses down her neck and out toward her shoulders, then in again across her collarbone, down the center of her chest to the flat plane of her stomach. He shifted downward, positioning himself so he had better access to her body. He slowly ran a leather clad hand from her ankle up to her outer thigh, massaging her thigh gently. He lowered his mouth to her stomach again, kissing up to her breasts, taking a nipple between his lips, tugging gently. She cried out, tilting her hips forward. Her hands found their way into his hair, grabbing a handful in her fist. He continued to tug with his lips, using his hand to roll her other nipple between his fingers.

_Shit!_ She couldn’t breathe. The sensations running through her nipples went in a direct pipeline to her groin and her need for him spiraled out of control. Her entire body felt like it was buzzing, pure energy ricocheting off her insides screaming for escape. Her fists were balled in Ben’s hair, her back arched to meet his ongoing oral assault on her nipple. She wasn’t sure how much more of this she could stand.

“ _Ben!_ ” she cried out for him and his groin tightened. He had been called a lot of things while pleasuring other women, but he had never been known to anyone as anything other than Kylo Ren. To hear her use his given name was almost intoxicating for reasons he didn’t dare analyze right now.

He released her nipples and slid his hand down her stomach. She reached down and started to remove the glove on his right hand. He pulled back, and shook his head ‘no’. “Please, Ben… please,” she writhed beneath him. Her eyes were liquid pools of desire. “Please, touch me, Ben. No gloves.”

He hissed under his breath. “I’ll remove _one_. The other stays.” She nodded her agreement and he removed his right glove. This was something else he did not do with women who weren’t Rey. He always wore his gloves. Taking a deep breath, he slid his bare hand up the inside of her thigh. Her skin was incredibly soft and warm beneath his touch. He wondered if he had been foolish to insist on wearing gloves when he was with a woman, but then decided it was better this way; better to touch only Rey with uncovered hands. He smiled to himself. It was another grey area introduced into his previously monochromatic preferences. His hand slid from her inner thigh finding the warm mound of her sex in between. He slid his thumb south, finding her already wet. His thumb dipped into the moist heat and slid up again to find the bundle of nerves that he knew would send her over the edge.

When his wet thumb grazed her clitorus, Rey came undone at the seams. Her entire body arched, pelvis forward into his touch. His free hand came out to hold her steady against the mattress. He shifted onto his knees, positioning himself between her legs. Lowering his mouth to her stomach again, he trailed kisses down the center, past her belly button. He slid his tongue around her clitorous once, using his hands to hold her thighs firmly open. He slid his tongue around her clit again. Rey cried out. He slid his tongue around her again, and again she cried out. Her body was trembling and he knew she was close. He slid a finger down, teasing the opening between her legs as he swirled his tongue around her again.

“Ben _please_!” she whimpered.

He laughed softly, swirling his tongue around again. This time he slid his finger gently inside her, sliding into her as deep as he could reach and then turning his hand so the pad of his finger ran along the top of her canal as he exited.   
  
Stars exploded behind her eyes and she nearly came off the bed. Her body pulsed in rhythm with his fingers and tongue as he continued his cruel assault on her senses. Unable to stand another second of his torture, she shot upright pushing him back and all but tackling him to the floor. She reached for the band of his pants, tugging and pulling until they were off. He sat up, laughing at her, but she didn’t care. She worked her way up his body until she was straddling him. Her eyes were smoldering, but his were full of mirth, his hair tousled from her hands, a smile on his lips. It was the first time she had ever seen him look really happy and carefree, and he was beautiful.  She paused for a moment, drinking in the sight of him, the chasm in her chest opening to expand and swallow her whole, drowning her in feelings for him. Gently, she took his face between her hands, kissing him. His arms snaked out around her. Pulling her closer he ran a hand up her back, his other hand still holding her firmly around the waist. He cradled the back of her head, deepening their kiss, pressing her chest to his. She felt so overcome by emotion that she thought she might cry. He picked her up, not breaking their kiss, and laid her gently on the bed beneath him again. He lifted his head to look at her, resting his elbows on either side of her face.   
  
“Are you sure this is what you want, Rey?” his eyes were kind and sincere.

“I’m positive,” there was no hesitation in her voice. To prove that she was ready for him she slid a hand down to his bare thigh and, spreading her legs wider to make room, she gently pulled his hips down to meet hers. Using his free hand, he positioned himself, the tip of his rock hard sex resting just outside of her slick canal, putting pressure there, but not enough to penetrate.

He took both of her hands and held them above her head. “Don’t look away, Rey.” he commanded her gently. He held her gaze and flexed his hips, sliding just inside her. Her eyes widened in surprise and her breath quickened.

“Ben…” she was breathless, so ready to be one with him. His teasing was driving her mad.   
  
“Ssshh.” he kissed her gently. “Are you ready?”

She nodded her head slowly, still not breaking eye contact with him as he flexed his hips again and slowly sank into her further. Her legs began to shake. The sensation of their union was one of indescribable fullness. He continued to push into her until she had taken him to the hilt. She flexed her hips up to meet him and it was almost his undoing.

“Don’t do that,” he whispered between gritted teeth.

“Do what?”

“When you lift your hips into me it’s more than I can take. I don’t want to lose control too soon. We’ve barely begun.”

She laughed, lifting her hips again just to torture him.

“Dammit, Rey,” he lifted his torso a bit, resting on his elbows, still holding her hands above her head. “You want to play?” the look in his eyes dared her to say yes.

She looked up at him and lifted her hips into him again without answering. Never one to back down from a challenge, he pulled back from her until he had almost exited her body. He shifted his weight to hold her arms with one hand and slipped the other under her hips, lifting her slightly and changing the angle of his penetration. Then, he sank into her, quickly this time, not slowly like he had before. Her eyes widened again, and he tightened his grip on her arms. Lifting her hips a bit more, he slid out and back in again. She cried out his name. He felt her pulsate around him and knew that she was already close to reaching climax. He slid out again, pushing back in, bringing them both closer to the brink. Her hands were frantic, despite her arms being pinned. She balled them into fists and unfurled them over and over, calling his name with each stroke. The pressure in her body was building and she knew she would spill over the edge soon. She continued to meet him with her hips until he was growling her name in her ear. He slid his hand up to her nipple and began gently rolling it between his fingers again, then lifted his hips and slowly pushed into her. This time she screamed. He smiled, pushing his hips into her again, still maintaining a torturously slow pace.

“Oh, that’s a good girl, Rey,” his words were like velvet in her ears and she tumbled over the edge, exploding around him. He whispered her name over and over again, continuing to ride the waves of her orgasm until he found his own release.

She freed her hands from his grip and wrapped her arms around his body holding him close to her. They were both breathing heavily, inhaling and exhaling in unison, their bodies still joined; one. Her chest filled with emotion again and a tear slid down her cheek. She turned her head and kissed the side of his face, bringing her hands up into his hair to hold him tighter. He rolled onto his side, taking her with him, not breaking their union.

“Rey….are you okay?” he smoothed the hair away from her face. “Why are you crying?”

“I hate you,” she whispered, smiling. Her eyes said clearly enough that her words were a lie.

“I know,” he said as he lowered his lips to hers.


	9. Chapter 9

“That’s quite a show you put on last night,” General Hux walked up to Kylo Ren as he exited the dueling ring. “I’m surprised you have enough energy to fight at all, let alone win.”

“What are you going on about?” Kylo clipped his lightsaber to his belt and adjusted his gloves. He actually was tired, but hoped that hadn’t shown in the training duel.

“Oh, don’t play coy, Ren. Everyone knows where you were last night,” Hux spoke with a mocking tone.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about and further, I don’t care. I don’t have time for your ridiculous nonsense,” Kylo had been annoyed upon seeing Hux and now it was going beyond annoyance to anger.

“It almost makes it worth the loss of the Corellian wine you stole,” Hux crossed his arms.

Kylo wished Hux could see him smile, “I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“The officers in the surveillance quarters called me when they realized what was going on. I didn’t believe it at first, I didn’t think you had it in you. Then the bets started…”

Kylo’s entire body stilled. “ _Out with it!_ ” he bellowed.

Hux prattled on, pretending not to notice Kylo’s rage, “They all thought you would give it to that scavenger bitch good and hard but I said no, he definitely doesn’t have that in him. You were so gentle. It was touching, really. I won quite a few credits off of you last night,” Hux laughed a low, evil laugh. “Surely you know there are cameras in her room, Ren.”

“ _WHAT?!_ ” Kylo roared.

“When you decided to put a prisoner in with the officers, I had to make sure the area was, shall we say, secure,” Hux paused.

“She is _my_ prisoner, not yours!”

“Those quarters became a holding cell, just like any other holding cell on this base, when you moved _your_ prisoner into them, and they will be treated like any other holding cell, which includes security cameras. She may very well be _your_ prisoner, but this is _my_ base. It’s such a shame that uniform services didn’t issue her undergarments,” Hux flashed a leering smile, “She doesn’t sleep in those black shirts and pants.” Kylo’s hand shot out and Hux felt his throat start to constrict under the Force choke. “I will kill you,” Kylo emphasized each word, tightening his grip. Hux was starting to turn purple when Kylo heard Supreme Leader Snoke in his head.

“ _KYLO REN TO MY CHAMBERS NOW!_ ” He released his hold on Hux, who fell to the floor, still struggling to breathe. Kylo kicked him hard in the stomach as he walked by.

The dueling arenas were situated on the opposite side of the base from Snoke’s chambers and the walk would take a few minutes. He walked like he was stalking prey. As usual, no one got in his way but he wondered if he was getting some odd looks now or maybe that was just his paranoia about being spied on. It wasn’t so much that he was embarrassed about what happened or had issues about keeping it secret; it was about protecting Rey. He was enraged that Hux and his men had been watching Rey. He wanted to kill each and everyone of them slowly and painfully. He smiled as he thought of the various ways he could kill them one by one.

Snoke’s chamber doors were already open when he approached. Kylo entered, dropping to one knee in front of his Master, “My Lord.”

“Get up, apprentice,” Snoke snapped.

“Yes, my Lord,” Kylo stood up. “You wanted to see me?”

“Don’t toy with me, Kylo Ren. You know full well why you’re here,” Snoke scowled at Kylo.

“I know I need to watch my temper. Force choking Hux is unaccept…”

“NO!” Snoke cut him off. “I know you had, _relations_ , with the girl.”

“Yes, it seems everyone does. I told you the girl is attracted to me. You said you were leaving this in my hands. I have gained her trust. I have gained her trust so much that I am the first man she has ever been with,” Kylo hated revealing that information but he needed to be back in Snoke’s good graces quickly.

“Have you made any progress with extracting any information from her?”

“Not yet, my…”

“Not yet?” Snoke snarled at him. “And exactly when do you plan on doing this? When Skywalker has another group of Jedi trained?”

Kylo shifted uncomfortably, “No, Master. I think now that she has given herself to me, bringing her to the Dark Side will be an easy task. Once that happens, we’ll have all the information we need, and more, about the Resistance.”

“You’re taking too long, Kylo Ren, and I think you’re starting to have more than compassion for this girl,” Snoke stared at him hard. “Otherwise, why the violent reaction to General Hux?”

“ _My_ prisoner does not need twenty four hour surveillance.  As for the girl, that’s nonsense. Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same thing in my position. A beautiful young woman offers herself up to you. Would you turn that down? Especially if it fulfills part of your orders? Earn her trust, bring her to the Dark Side,” Kylo was hoping to play on Snoke’s baser instincts, if he had them.

“You make a valid point, apprentice,” Snoke conceded. “Still I am worried about... _sentiment_. Need I remind you of the fact that there would be no need to find Luke Skywalker if your grandfather hadn’t succumbed to such weakness? I’m beginning to wonder if it isn’t a familial trait. Also, your prisoner is strong with the Force. Hux was wise to keep surveillance on her, despite intentions beyond protocol.”

Kylo knew that was an argument he wasn’t going to win. “I have no emotional attachment to the girl. I will not deny that she is appealing, but so are many other women on this base and I have no emotional attachment to them, either. I am aware of my grandfather’s mistakes and do not intend to repeat them. I do not become attached. Have I not proven this through the death of Han Solo?”

“The love of a woman can be a dangerous thing, unlike any other. Be mindful, Kylo Ren,” Snoke paused. “I do worry that this is taking too long. The longer we wait the less chance we have of getting to Skywalker before the Resistance does.”

“I understand, my Lord,” Kylo nodded. “It should not take much longer. I can not give you a specific time frame, but I know I am close. I have her heart and I have her trust. She will not be able to resist the Dark Side for much longer.” Kylo hated himself for saying those words, though he did wish she would stop resisting her darkness.

“I’m going to give you two weeks, my apprentice, which goes against my better judgement, and it is probably two weeks too long. Do what needs to be done or you know the consequences.”

“Yes, my Lord.”

“Oh, and Kylo?”

“Yes, Master?”

“Give Hux his food synthesizer back. If I have to hear him drone on about it any longer I may be forced to choke him myself. Then I’d have to find another general, and that’s a bother I don’t care to undertake. Do we have an understanding?”

Kylo was very glad Snoke could not see the huge smile on his face, “Yes, Master.”

“You are dismissed,” Snoke waved his hand.

“Yes, Master,” the smile on Kylo’s face didn’t last long. He left Snoke’s chambers and stopped the first person he saw, asking for directions to uniform services. There were places on the base he had never been, having no reason to ever go there. The corporal stammered out the directions and Kylo turned on his heel and headed towards the department. He considered blowing the first droid he saw into pieces, but decided to keep his temper in check. His hands balled into fists at his sides as he quickly walked to his destination.

When he walked in, the supply clerk sorting uniforms behind a counter dropped what she had in her hands. “Kylo Ren, sir,” she paused. “Um, how can I….help you, sir?” she stammered.

Kylo wasn’t entirely sure what he needed to ask for, “I need, I need the standard requisition for undergarments for a female.” He hoped he didn’t sound as uncomfortable as he felt.

“Alright, sir,” she looked at him quizzically. “Do you know what size?”

“Uh, small?” his answer was more of a question than a statement. “She’s small. Petite. And socks. Are socks included?”

“They can be, if you request. Whatever you want, sir,” she wasn’t foolish enough to deny any request from Kylo Ren, even if he seemed out of sorts.

“Yes, then include socks,” he had no idea if Rey had socks or not but now she would for sure. The indignity of acquiring these items only fueled his anger toward Hux and his subordinates. He could have sent his personal droid to do it, but he wanted to make sure it was done, done right and he wanted to personally deliver the items to be absolutely sure she received them.

“I’ll be right back, sir,” the supply clerk headed off the collect the items he requested. Kylo picked at his robes, shifting back and forth on his feet, having no idea what to do with himself while waiting. He normally requested things from his personal droid and then they appeared in his quarters. Kylo Ren didn’t _wait_ for things.

The supply clerk reappeared, a friendly smile on her face, “I put everything in a duffel for you so you wouldn’t be carrying a pile of undergarments through the base, sir.”

Kylo nodded, “Well done. I appreciate the forethought. I will tell your superior officer about your performance. It is safe to assume everything is correct in here?” That was as close to a thank you that he could muster, seeing as he never told anyone thank you.

“Absolutely, sir. Thank you. Do you need anything else?” she wondered if a compliment from Kylo Ren himself could get her a promotion.

“No, that is all,” he took the bag from the counter and exited the uniform services room. He felt ridiculous carrying a duffel bag through the base, but it was at least less ridiculous than a stack of women’s undergarments. Kylo shook his head and quickened his pace to Rey’s quarters. Upon arriving, he keyed the code and let himself in, not bothering to knock, back to his usual patterns. He sat down in one of the chairs, putting the bag on the table. Rey was in the ‘fresher, taking a shower. He was sure she was going to berate him for letting himself in but he didn’t care. His presence was the least of her worries, as far as he was concerned.

He heard her turn the shower off as he stretched out his long legs. The chair wasn’t exactly comfortable, but most weren’t, given his height. One of the few luxuries he allowed himself was a chair he had specially made for him in his quarters that he used when he read. He had his hands folded under his chin and didn’t even look up when Rey stepped out of the refresher. She didn’t notice him at first and when she did, she let out a startled cry.

“Kylo Ren! This is exactly why I’ve told you not to barge in my quarters!” she reached down to the floor and picked up one of her boots to throw at him.

He didn’t even look up when he raised his hand to stop the boot with the Force, “We have bigger issues, Rey.” He let the boot hang there for a moment before letting it drop to the floor.

“What’s going on?” she reached into the closet to retrieve the black shirt and pants she now wore.

Kylo slid the bag towards her, leaning one elbow on the table, “In here you’ll find suitable undergarments and socks.”

“Thanks!” she flashed him a beaming smile. “I was wondering when these would arrive.”

“They weren’t going to,” Kylo balled his hand on the table into a fist.

“What? What is going on?” she hung her shirt and pants over the other chair and adjusted her towel. “Take off your mask. Please.”

He did as she asked, dropping it to the floor with a thud. His face was curled into a scowl and his eyes flashed with anger. “There are surveillance cameras in here,” he said with a snarl.

“ _WHAT?_ ” Rey yelled, pulling her towel in closer. “People have been watching me?”

“Yes,” Kylo replied in a low tone, barely containing his temper. “That is the reason you weren’t issued the necessary,” he paused, “attire.”

She yanked a pair of underwear and a bra out of the bag, “Is there a camera in the refresher?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I only know for sure out here.” His leather gloved creaked as he open and closed his hand into a fist.

“Well, what are you going to do about it?” she snapped.

He looked at her with anger still in his eyes, “Nothing.”

“Nothing? What do you mean nothing? How can you just do nothing? You have to do something!” she was rambling and she didn’t care.

“You are a prisoner. Prisoners are to be kept under surveillance as they are in the holding cells, which are fully monitored by cameras. There’s nothing I _can_ do,” his hand made a fist and he kept it there this time.

Rey frowned at being called a prisoner, even though she knew it still to be true. Then the gravity of the situation struck her, “They, whoever monitors those cameras, saw last night…” her voice trailed off.

Kylo nodded once, not saying anything. He still wanted blood for the intrusion. Not for himself, but for Rey. “Don’t be embarrassed, Rey.”

“I’m not,” she said, furious. “I have nothing to be embarrassed of.” Kylo could see her anger, the darkness of the Force gathering around her. “I want to know who did this,” she seethed.

Kylo looked at her, curious, “I only know one person for certain. General Hux.”

“Will you take me to him?”

“I probably shouldn’t,” he replied.

 “But will you?” she asked.

He smiled, “Yes, I would be happy to. Hold on.” Kylo closed his eyes and focused. Reaching out with his mind, he searched for Hux. “Finish getting dressed. Someone needs our attention.”

* * *

Kylo and Rey found General Hux observing the newest arrival of Stormtroopers. He was with Captain Phasma and two other officers, overlooking the soldiers who had been trained since birth to be loyal to the First Order.The rows of ‘troopers stretched out before them, all in perfect symmetry. They had not been issued armor yet so they were only in the black shirts and pants worn under, like Rey wore. General Hux pointed to something out among the rows, Captain Phasma nodding in agreement.

“General Hux,” Kylo said as they approached.

“Kylo Ren,” Hux said with disdain, then his eyes opened wide with surprise. “Why is this prisoner out of her cell and without restraints, no less? What do you think you are doing?”

“She is my guest, there is no need to restrain her,” as Kylo said this, Rey extended her arm, putting Hux into the Force choke. Kylo smiled behind his mask. “Besides, she could still do that with restraints.”

Rey brought Hux up off of the ground, her gaze menacing. Hux struggled to breathe. Rey walked to the spot where she held Hux in the air by his neck and looked up into his face.

“ _Do not ever spy on me again, you slimy little bastard!”_ her tone brokered no argument, her face contorted in rage.

Captain Phasma and the two officers had withdrawn as she approached Hux, and now drew their blasters to fire. With a whip of her hand, Rey took the blasters from them and shattered them on the ground. Kylo took a step back, as well. He wasn’t sure he could do that himself. The darkness rippled around her.

Rey heard a voice in her head that wasn’t Kylo, “ _Kill him._ ” She looked at Kylo but with his mask on she couldn’t see where he was looking. “ _Kill him._ ” She looked back at Hux. His face was purple, his legs kicking in the air. She knew she could end his life if she held on just a few more seconds. Instead, she released her hold on Hux and threw him backwards a few feet. She looked at Kylo again, “Let’s go.”

Kylo knew there would be hell to pay with Snoke for this, but he didn’t care. The look on Hux’s face was more than worth it. He was sure Phasma had a similar look under her helmet. He didn’t hold any ill will against Captain Phasma. He actually felt bad for her that she had to work so closely with Hux.

They started walking back to Rey’s quarters. “So,” Kylo said, “how did that feel?”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked.  
  
“Exactly what I asked. Putting the choke on Hux. Watching him struggle to breathe. How did it feel?”

Rey paused for a moment, “It felt good. It felt damn good. It still feels good. I feel like I can take on the whole Stormtrooper army.”

“You wear your darkness well.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, “It was too easy. I almost lost control.”

“He deserved it,” Kylo replied. “He deserved more.”

“But that doesn’t make it right.” she shook her head as she spoke.

“Your actions were justified,” he said firmly.

“Just because he wronged me does not mean I can wrong him!” Rey exclaimed. “Someone has to do the right thing at some point!”

“Who says you did not do the right thing? Do you think he’ll spy on you anymore?” Kylo stopped walking and looked at her.

“He better not,” she said, casting a dark look over her shoulder in the general direction of Hux. Turning back to Kylo she asked, “If it’s the right thing, then why is it on the Dark Side?

“Maybe the Dark Side isn’t always wrong,” he replied. “It’s all a matter of perspective.”

“Grey areas,” Rey said, biting her lip. “Still, I have to be more careful. I can’t just act on impulse.” she paused. “I heard a voice in my head telling me to kill Hux. It was the same voice I heard when I was fighting you on Starkiller base, telling me to kill you.”

“Snoke,” Kylo growled. It had to be Snoke. Who else would it be? Snoke had told Rey to kill him that night. He smiled wryly behind his mask. “So why didn’t you?”

“Because it wasn’t the right thing to do. It didn’t feel right,” she replied.

“How does it not feel right to kill your enemy in battle?”

“Would you have killed me?” she wished his mask was off.

“No,” he replied without hesitation. “I’ve never seen you as my enemy. Not entirely, anyhow. I knew you were different. You’ve always been the aggressor.”

She knew his words were true, at least in regards to taking each other’s lives. Her gaze fell to the floor, “I’m sorry.”

He lightly laughed, “Don’t be. You have no reason to be. Never apologize for being a warrior. You’re as fierce as any I’ve faced and you’ll be more fearsome once you are trained.” He continued walking again. “Speaking of which, would you like to stay out of your quarters a bit and do some training?”

She looked at him sharply, “I don’t want to train under the Dark Side.”

“This is just lightsaber training. No Light or Dark side needed. Your reflexes are naturally enhanced by the Force; that’s why we can deflect blaster shots with our ‘sabers. This will be a droid firing blaster shots for you to deflect and hopefully deflect back on to the droid. The shots are only set on stun so you won’t actually destroy the droid with the shots but it’s a suitable simulation,” he paused, “or you can sit in your room and watch the HoloNet some more.”

“What lightsaber am I going to use? Mine was taken,” she made a sour face.

“Your own. I can get it.”

“And you trust me with it?”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t?” his tone wasn’t entirely serious, but Rey wasn’t sure.

Their exchange was interrupted by Snoke in both of their heads. _Kylo Ren, to my chambers and bring the girl._ Kylo was surprised it had taken as long as it had to be called to his master. Rey looked at him with fearful eyes.

“Don’t be afraid and don’t take anything I say personally.”

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Just remember you’re my prisoner,” he said flatly, “Come on. We need to hurry.”  


* * *

Rey found herself at a loss for words as they entered Snoke’s chamber. The Supreme Leader sat in a throne on a raised dais, his hands gripping the armrests. She wasn’t sure if his face was contorted in anger, or if his face just looked like that all the time. It was hard to tell. His skin was a sickly shade of grey she didn’t recall ever seeing before, even on dead men. His eyes were sunken, one seeming to hang lower in his face than the other. Fear rippled up her spine and spread to her limbs making every step into the room feel like she was treading water.

“Kylo Ren, tell me why your prisoner was Force choking my highest ranking officer,” Supreme Leader Snoke snarled.

Kylo felt the familiar pressure in his head, Snoke’s favorite punishment. He looked over at Rey; she was starting to rub her head. He didn’t know if Snoke was punishing her, too, or if she felt was he was feeling through their Force bond. Either way, he had to control his emotions, “The girl felt violated by General Hux’s actions and wanted vengeance. I took this as an opportunity to show her the power of the Dark Side and the satisfaction it can bring. Her actions were most impressive.” Kylo felt the pain moving down into his neck, but still stood tall. “I know this was most unconventional…”

“Unconventional?” Snoke interrupted him, scowling. “You let a prisoner embarrass the General in front of newly acquired troops. You let a prisoner out of their cell with no restraints.”

“She is fully under my control, Supreme Leader,” Rey gave him a sideways glance. “She is not a threat, unless you are a lecherous pervert.” The pain spread down from his neck into his shoulders. Snoke was going slow this time, at least for now.

“Your behavior is unacceptable, apprentice. You do not have free reign on this base! This is the second time I have seen you today,” Snoke snarled.

Rey was hunched over slightly from the pain in her head, neck and shoulders. Snoke noticed this and asked her, as gently as he was able to, “Child, are you in pain?” She simply nodded. “My apprentice, why did you not tell me about this Force bond before?” his tone was anything but gentle with Kylo.

“I did not think it was of any consequence, my Lord,” Kylo knew he was lying. “We have had a couple of shared experiences and that is all. Visions, dreams.”

“What else are you keeping from me?” Snoke snapped and strengthened the pain going through Kylo to his entire upper body, making Rey double over and cry out. “It is not up to you to decide what is of consequence and what is not.”

“Nothing, master,” Kylo was holding up against the pain, but he was more used to it than Rey. He wanted to reach out to her but couldn’t.

“How do you feel about the girl feeling your pain, apprentice?”

“I feel nothing. It is not of my concern,” Kylo kept his voice as flat as possible. He tried to keep his thoughts that way, too. Surprisingly, Kylo felt the pain lessen. Rey was able to straighten back up.

“Girl, how did you feel when you choked General Hux?”

Rey couldn’t lie, “It felt good. I knew it was wrong but it still felt good.”

“How did those around him look?” Snoke asked her.

“Surprised. And scared,” she replied.

“How did that make you feel?”

Rey didn’t like the answers to these questions, but they were the truth, “It made me feel powerful and I felt even more so when I shattered their blasters. I knew it was wrong, but it didn’t feel wrong.”

“Do you feel regret now?” Snoke peered at her.

“Only over losing my temper,” she looked down. She didn’t really like looking at Snoke. He radiated evil.

“You belong on the Dark Side, girl. I can see the darkness around you, even now. Maybe you will respond better to my tactics than you have to my apprentice’s,” Snoke fully radiated the pain throughout Rey’s body, dropping her to the ground with a scream. Kylo came down to his hands and knees, refusing to go any further, angry pride keeping him up. Finally, Snoke stopped. “Kylo Ren, in the rest of the time she is here, if you do anything like that again, I will have you kill her and then I will kill you. Understood?”

“Yes, Master,” Kylo said through gritted teeth.

“Girl, you have two weeks to come to our cause and give us the information we need or Kylo Ren will kill you. You are both dismissed.”

Kylo got up and headed for the door, waiting for Rey to get up. He didn’t want to help her and be accused of having compassion for her, so he just waited. Snoke finally got frustrated and said, “Kylo Ren, come get this scavenger off of my floor!” Kylo went over to Rey and picked her up the same way he had when he carried her to his ship the first time on Takodana.

“Two weeks, Kylo Ren,” Snoke snarled.

“Yes, master,” Kylo practically snarled back. He turned and headed back for the door, making sure to clear it without Rey hitting either side. He headed for her quarters but instead went just a few steps further to his own. He keyed the code and entered, again making sure she didn’t hit the door frame. He took her into the bedroom and laid her down on his sleeping mat as gently as he could. The bed in her quarters was much more comfortable but he didn’t want the surveillance cameras prying. After placing her on the mat, he slipped into her quarters to get a pillow and blanket, as he didn’t have a pillow and his blanket was, well, his.

He was funny about sharing certain things, about touching certain things. The only time he didn’t wear his gloves was in the shower and right after. The same with socks, no bare feet except for the shower and right after. Even as a child, he was never barefoot outside, and always wore socks and shoes. The preference for gloves came with his arrival to the First Order where no one dared to argue with him, unlike at home.

The Stormtroopers posted outside of her quarters didn’t even turn their heads as he went in and out. There was a lot to be said for being feared. Kylo didn’t quite understand Rey’s aversion to it. He reentered his own quarters and went back to Rey. He gently lifted her head, putting the pillow underneath and covered her with the blanket. He took off his helmet and placed it on the stand where it belonged, one of the few times it ended up there instead of against the wall or on the floor. He sat down beside her, drawing his long legs up. He lightly brushed down her cheek with the back of his hand, then traced her jawline with his finger. He wanted to kiss her but it wouldn’t be right, not now. Remembering how good her skin felt against his bare hand, he took one of his gloves off and traced her jawline again. Her skin was so smooth, so soft. He traced along her jawline back to her ear, lacing his fingers into her hair, then down the back of her neck. She finally started to stir and her eyes fluttered open, “Where are we?”

“My quarters,” Kylo said. “You passed out in Snoke’s chambers.”

Rey struggled into a sitting position, rubbing the back of her neck.

“You were pretty harsh back there, saying I was under your control and you didn’t care that I was in pain,” Rey paused, “Why did you say all of that?”

“I told you not to take anything I said personally. Snoke can’t know that I have any sort of emotional attachment to you at all. I was trying to keep the Force bond hidden but I couldn’t with both of us right in front of him,” his eyes dropped down. “I’m sorry I failed you.” Kylo Ren never apologized.

“Ugh,” Rey moved her fingers from the back of her neck to her temples, wondering how Kylo wasn’t in worse shape. “Aren’t you going to get in trouble for having me in here?”

“Snoke didn’t say I couldn’t have you out of your quarters, just that we can’t go around Force choking Hux,” he shrugged.

“You’re either really brave or really stupid,” Rey made a face. “My head is killing me.”

Kylo rubbed the back of her neck, “It will pass, quicker than you think.”

Rey looked around, “Am I lying on the floor?”

Kylo nodded, “Well, mostly. I sleep on a mat.”

“Do you allow yourself any comforts?”

“No,” he shifted slightly, uncomfortable at her line of questioning. “I don’t deserve them.”

“What do you mean?” she looked up at him from under long lashes, her intent gaze catching him off guard.

“Rey, despite things I say, I know I am a murderer, a liar, and a host of other things. Sometimes the Dark Side is grey and other times it is not. I know I have done things that are wrong. Unlike a disgusting vermin like Hux, I won’t wallow in my treachery. I won’t profit from my wrong doings,” he paused. “and I don’t deserve you.” He took her hand and kissed her fingers, looking into her eyes.

“You deserve Light and love,” she reached up with the hand he kissed and touched the scar on his face, lightly running her thumb down his cheek. He leaned into her touch. “Why do you stay on the Dark Side?” her eyes were almost pleading.

“Because even though it’s wrong, it feels right,” he reached down and put his glove back on. “Every life I take in battle fuels me to take the next one. Every treacherous deed prepares me for the next. Every lie told builds for the next one and it feels right. I know you know very well what I mean. Choking Hux was wrong, but it felt right. When you’re angry with me, when you’ve wanted to kill me, it feels right.”

Rey nodded her head, “I do know. It’s the lure of the Dark Side. I can feel it.”

“Join me, Rey,” Kylo almost whispered. He reached out and put his hand on her cheek, “You’re so perfect, your lightness and darkness. Stay with me.”

It would be easy, too easy, to just give in and stay here with him. She liked the power she had felt today and she liked the fear she had seen in others, the same kind of fear Kylo inspired. She _liked_ being feared. It called to her, beckoning, but she knew it was wrong, even if it did feel right. Just because something felt right didn’t make it right. She shook her head, “I can’t.”

“Please,” keeping his hand on her cheek, he leaned in and kissed her. “I can’t lose you, Rey.” His mouth moved from her lips to her jawline and down her neck. His fingers, still laced in her hair, cradled her head against his.

“No,” she pulled away, reluctantly. “This is not fair.”

He looked deep into her eyes, “I will do whatever I have to do to keep you here, fair or otherwise.”

She held his gaze, teetering on the edge of Light and Dark. She knew that he was serious, and she wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold out against his advances and the feelings she had for him. She felt like a giant chasm opened beneath her, swallowing her whole. If she didn’t concede, Snoke would order him to kill her. She wasn’t sure that he wouldn’t follow Snoke’s orders. She wanted to think that he would not...

Rey shook her head, trying to clear her somber thoughts. “Please take me back to my quarters,” she said, finally.

Kylo sighed and stood up, picking up the blanket and pillow as he did, “As you wish.” Leading her to the door, they exited, only going a few feet to the next door. He entered the code to her quarters and they went in.

“I’ve been next door to you this whole time?” she asked, incredulous.

“Yes. Do you need anything else?” his cool demeanor had returned.

“No, thank you,” she suddenly felt empty. She wanted to go back to his bedroom, back to the darkness, back to his kisses. Taking the pillow and blanket from him, she made sure to touch his hands as she did so, the leather warm and soft against her skin. _I have to fight this,_ she thought.

_Stop fighting and join me._ He extended his arm, reaching out his hand towards her.

She laced her fingers through his, her bare palm touching the warm leather of his, “I’m sorry, I just….I need to be alone right now.” her gaze fell to the floor. She couldn’t look at him.

He squeezed her hand and nodded. Leaning down, he gently kissed her cheek. Then, saying nothing, he went to the door and quietly exited her quarters.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy time. Sweet, sweet sexy time. You got it here in this chapter. It's at the end if you want to skip it. Here at the beginning, Kylo has a pretty violent meltdown and panic attack. I wanted to let the readers know in case that's a trigger for anyone. Enjoy!

It was a familiar routine. Enter, throw helmet against the wall, kick over the table, punch the wall until knuckles are bloody, repeat. There were numerous reasons for a sparsely decorated living space, Kylo Ren’s caustic temper only being one of them. He was so angry with himself, so disgusted. He didn’t dare go into the bathroom, even to just splash cold water on his face to try and calm down. That would lead to the destruction of the mirror, his worst enemy except for himself. He despised the mirror, showing him what he already knew to be true. He sank into the chair in the front room, kicking the table out of the way. He thought about destroying it with his lightsaber, but his anger was cooling down now, from boiling rage to a slow, deep simmer. The self loathing he felt was deep and endless.

He didn’t deserve her. He knew it when he said it and he knew it from the first time he had seen her. He didn’t deserve Light and love, like she said. He deserved nothing, nothing beyond pain and misery for all the lives he had taken, lives he had ruined and those he had yet to infect. He had never felt anything like he felt for Rey, so beautiful and so vicious at the same time. If there was any point, any purpose in a life in the Light, he would turn to it for her in an instant, but there was nothing there for him. Nowhere to go, as Rey’s place was with the Resistance and he certainly couldn’t go there. He felt so close to bringing her to the Dark Side, so close. Maybe he just needed to show her more of the Dark Side, more of it’s allure. She had tasted the power, tasted the respect it commanded. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t reach out and grasp all that was available to her with her abilities. 

He couldn’t sit still, an endless ball of negative energy looking for an outlet. His knee bounced, his hands twitched, all looking for something to do and finding nothing. He yelled as he got up from his chair and started to pace the room, like a caged animal. His rage was building again. Rage at himself for ever thinking he truly had a chance to be with her. Rage at himself for ever thinking he was remotely good enough for her. Rage at himself for making the same mistake as his grandfather and falling truly and deeply in love with her to where he would do anything in the galaxy for her. It _ was _ a familial trait, one he had sworn he would never fall victim to and yet here he was. What a fool.

He kicked one leg off the table. There was something much more satisfying about destroying something by hand, or by foot, than by lightsaber. The lightsaber offered complete destruction, but you couldn’t feel it like you could with your own power. He grabbed the broken leg and threw it against the wall. It hit with a satisfying clang against the durasteel. He kicked the second leg and threw it, and then the third, and the fourth in succession. All of the legs were broken off of the table. Three table legs were against the wall and yet, no change in temperament for Kylo Ren. He roared in frustration.  _ Not the chair,  _ he told himself. It took weeks to get a new one last time, his one luxury. He ran a hand through his hair so roughly he pulled out a handful. He was breathing so hard his throat hurt. He ran both hands through his hair, lacing them together on the back of his head. He went to the wall and pounded on it with both hands until they ached, then with his head until he felt blood running down the bridge of his nose from his forehead, making a sticky, red river down the middle of his face.

He had to calm down. Part of his brain knew that but the other part was a raging fire out of control and there was no reconciliation between the two. There was always a battle in his head. Most of the time he kept it under some semblance of control; this time he wasn’t succeeding. Descending from the pinnacle of rage was long, drawn out and guaranteed to leave scars. Worst of all, he knew he would have to face his nemesis, the mirror, to clean up the mess he had made of his face. That impending encounter only filled him with dread, brimming on the edge of panic. Maybe he could get in the ‘fresher, get a washcloth wet and get out before facing himself. His heart raced, palms started to sweat underneath his now too tight leather gloves. He was longing to take them off, but the thought of touching anything without them only made his heart race more. He stood with his hands on his head, trying to maintain his balance. He went from standing to squatting then standing again, unable to decide what to do with his body. He hastily undid his belt, struggling to get out of his robes, now stifling hot and immensely heavy. Next he unzipped his tunic, and struggled with the suspenders over his shirt. Finally freeing himself of the suspenders, he unzipped his shirt and tore it off, sweat soaked, throwing it to the floor with disdain.

The cool air hitting his skin brought relief, brought the spiraling thoughts down, brought him back into his own mind. He ran his hands through his hair again, trying to get his bearings. His head throbbed from the very poor idea of banging it against the wall; he rubbed his forehead trying to ease the pain, the partially dried blood sticking to his fingers. The ‘fresher. The mirror. He sighed. He had to do it at some point. Blowing out a breath, he headed that way. He stopped short, swinging his arms at his sides.  _ Get it over with. _ He stepped into the ‘fresher and flipped the light on. 

Cringing at what he saw in the mirror, he shook his head.  _ Idiot. _ His hair was sticking out at every angle, damp with sweat. Blood was caked horizontally across the lines on his forehead, vertically down the bridge of his nose and off the side to his cheek. The eyes of a madman looked back at him, only softened by his long eyelashes. He peeled off his gloves, wincing at how they pulled at his bloodied knuckles. The heels of his hands were already swollen and would be bruised soon. He turned on the water, letting it flow over his knuckles, soothing some of the pain. Taking a washcloth from the rack, he wetted it and washed his face, taking care around the wound on his forehead. It wasn’t bad and wouldn’t require medical attention, but it was there, nonetheless. He ran his wet hands through his hair, taming it down a bit. He threw the wet washcloth in the sink; he would deal with it later.

Walking into his bedroom, he kicked off his boots. He went to the closet to get another pair of gloves and put them on. Gathering up his blanket, he wadded it up into a ball, making a makeshift pillow. Easing himself down onto his mat, he let out a long, slow breath. He never imagined that a hunt for a relic would turn into... _ this _ . While it was true he had been enamoured with Rey since the first time he had seen her and dreamed of her nightly, she was just that, a dream. But now? She was reality, a brutal reality. After having her in his arms, tasting her kisses, having her body next to him, his chest ached at the thought of losing her. Fourteen days. He had fourteen days to convince her to stay. Thirteen days to figure out a plan to kill Snoke if she didn’t. He rubbed his face with his hands. Maybe he didn’t need a plan. Maybe the best thing would be to just go on instinct. The only necessary plan was removing him from his dais so he could put his lightsaber through Snoke’s heart. Getting past whatever Snoke might throw at him before that was the actual challenge.

He was still restless, unable to be still. He hadn’t planned on doing any training today, but his day hadn’t exactly gone as planned anyhow. There was no way he would get any studying or meditating done at this point. He knew the Knights of Ren would be dueling soon. He lifted himself into a sitting position. Time to release some aggression. He stood up and went to the closet getting a new shirt out to begin the arduous task of getting dressed. He grabbed his boots from the floor and went to the front room to sit and put them on. He meticulously tucked his pants into them, perfectly, from years of practice then tightened the top two straps. He donned his tunic, then the last layer, his robes. He found his mask, lying in the corner where it had come to rest after his violent entry. Last came the cloak. He found his lightsaber, which had skipped across the floor when he threw his belt down. He clipped it to his belt, straightening his shoulders and cracking his neck. He waited for the door to open, then began his walk to the dueling arena with grim determination. He might feel bad for whoever had to face him, if he cared.

* * *

Rey stood where Kylo had left her, shaking. How had she fallen for him so hard, so fast? She barely knew this mysterious and dark man. Yet everything about him fascinated her, dark, light and in between. She tightened her grip on the pillow and blanket. He was dangerous,  _ this _ was dangerous. Maybe she was more dangerous than she cared to admit. There was no doubt she had enjoyed every single minute of her interaction with Hux earlier. She shook her head, trying to clear those thoughts but there was no escaping them. She even smiled as she thought of the look of horror on the faces of those around as Hux turned purple. 

_ This isn’t right! _ She went over to her bed, lying down, cradling her pillow. She thought tears might come, but they wouldn’t. She had no remorse, no regret to cry about. The only thing that threatened to bring tears to her eyes were more thoughts of Kylo.  _ Ben. _ She couldn’t get last night out of her mind. He had been so loving, so gentle...now that she knew what she had been missing sexually she only wanted more of him. She didn’t know if her cravings were Dark Side or Light Side and on this one, she didn’t really care. She knew being attracted to someone was normal, but there was something more to her attraction. Something dark. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it but it was almost enough itself to make her stay and commit to the First Order.

Darth Vader had turned to the Dark Side for love, but he was immediately told to do horrible things by the Emperor. If she turned, would she be ordered to do the same? She knew she would have to give up the location of the Resistance base; she couldn’t do that to her friends. Her thoughts turned to Finn, Poe, and the General. She wondered if they knew what had happened to her, if they were looking for her, or planning to mount some kind of rescue. She had a feeling she hadn’t felt the full power of Snoke today. She didn’t want the General to mount a rescue against him; there was something pure evil about that…. _ being.  _

She shuddered thinking about Kylo being under his control for so many years. He hadn’t even asked her about the location of the base, but she wasn’t surprised that it was part of his assignment. She didn’t know how long she could hold out against Snoke and his powers. She didn’t know how long she could hold out against Kylo and his... _ powers _ . She had almost pledged herself to him, to the Dark Side, earlier when he was kissing her neck. She shivered at the memory. Everything was so tempting; the power, how she felt when someone feared her, the lust,  _ all of it _ .

She sighed and rolled onto her back, putting her pillow under her head. She wondered just how powerful she could be if she was properly trained but she didn’t want respect via fear, at least part of her didn’t. The part of her desperately clinging to the Light wanted respect for being fair, being just, being wise. Her thoughts drifted to the Jedi Council of old. Keepers of the Light, the most respected of all the Jedi, yet...Anakin Skywalker. Was there a betrayal by the Council or was Anakin plagued by his own insecurities or both? He was a desperate man, looking for any way to save his wife and when his own Master asked him to do something he himself said he was uncomfortable with, Anakin had nowhere left to turn. Love and desperation pushed him to the Dark Side. Would she fall prey to the same ill fate?

Part of her already felt that love and desperation were pushing her to the Dark Side. Was it really love or was it desperation for love? After being alone on Jakku for so long, she had finally felt at home with the Resistance, but she had never felt love until she met Ben. What she felt was love, she was sure, but did he feel the same? He felt something deep for her, she knew that. Part of her felt uncertain, that perhaps it was all just a ploy to get her to the Dark Side as he told his master, but part of her knew that it was so much more. He wouldn’t have...couldn’t have touched her the way he did if he were only going along for the sake of his orders.  _ Could he? _ The more she tried to sort things out in her mind, the more confused she felt. 

She sighed deeply, exasperated, and covered her face with her hands. She was mentally and physically exhausted from the series of events that had taken place, but she didn’t think she could fall asleep. Her mind was running in a thousand directions and she couldn’t seem to reign it in. She remembered some of the meditation practices she had learned and that Ben often meditated to calm himself. Not wanting to sit up, she stayed in a laying position, but focused on calming her breathing to deep even breaths. She put her hands down to rest at her sides, keeping her eyes closed. She tried to recall Ben’s dream and envisioned herself holding his head to her chest, running her hands through his hair. She felt the tension slowly drain out of her neck and shoulders. She turned onto her side to find a more comfortable position and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

Coming straight from the dueling arena, Kylo Ren keyed in the code to Rey’s quarters. He didn’t bother to knock, either forgetting or not caring about decorum. He wasn’t surprised to find her sleeping. She had had a rough morning and needed rest. He didn’t mean to stare, but couldn’t help himself. She looked so beautiful, so innocent. Strands of her brown hair had made their way loose from her three buns, drifting softly over her face. Her lips were slightly parted and her breath came in a soft, steady rhythm. He was overcome with the urge to kiss her, making him glad he had his mask on before he did anything rash. He swallowed hard, turning around to leave.    
  
“You don’t have to go,” Rey said quietly.

He turned back around to see her looking at him with half opened, sleepy eyes and a soft smile.  He was speechless for a moment, “I-I don’t want to bother you.” he stumbled over his words.

She sat up, slowly stretching, “You’re not bothering me,” she said with a yawn.

“I’m not sure if you’re up to it after this morning, but I wanted to see if you’d like to try some lightsaber training,” he unclipped her lightsaber from his belt and tossed it to her.

She caught it with an eager grin, “Yes, but none of your Dark Side tricks.”

He smiled behind his mask, “Galaxy Scouts honor,” he held up his hand. Taking a more serious tone he said, “I’m trusting you with that.”

She nodded, “I understand.”

“Let’s go then,” he turned to leave, with Rey following close behind. As they exited her quarters, he closed a hand around her arm, walking next to her.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“If I don’t have you in restraints I at least need to restrain you...or appear to be restraining you,” he sounded irritated with the idea.  

“Snoke’s orders?” she cocked a brow at him questioningly.

“Something like that.” he all but sneered. If he hadn’t been wearing his helmet, she would’ve seen his eyes roll into the back of his head in exasperation. “It’s because of what happened with Hux. He’s all bent out of shape, says you’re ‘dangerous’ or some nonsense. He whined to Snoke about almost being killed and Snoke took pity on him.”

Rey couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Well, I guess if you have to…” she winked at him.

He smiled behind his mask, despite his somewhat sour mood, and used his thumb to caress the inside of her bicep. His gloved caress was warm and soft and she smiled to herself. “You know,” he said. “I can think of much better uses for restraints.”

Rey’s mouth dropped open, speechless. “ _ Ben!”  _ she whispered with mock disdain using the elbow he held in his hand to jab him in the side. 

“Don’t call me that out here,” his tone was a little too sharp. “Please.” he tried to soften a bit, immediately regretting lashing out at her.

She lowered her lashes to the floor, her cheeks flaming red. “Sorry, I… It slipped.”

His personal training pod was in the same wing of the base as the dueling arenas and a few short strides later, they arrived. The pod had two long walls made of transparasteel, with a durasteel door to enter. There was another door at the far end set into a solid wall. Kylo stepped up to the keypad and entered his code, opening the door. “I’ll show you how this works, then you can try.” Rey nodded. He keyed in another code and the door on the end opened. A round, floating droid with four arms emerged. “As you saw on Takodana, a lightsaber can deflect blaster shots.” Rey frowned as he brought up the memory of her trying to shoot him with a blaster. “No regrets,” he said, “It was a battle. I was the enemy. Now this droid has one blaster on each arm. Depending on the level of difficulty set, it will fire them individually or randomly. It is set to less than stun. You will only receive a small shock if you miss. Watch as I go through a round.” Rey noticed that he pressed the start button using the Force, drawing his lightsaber on and to the ready. The droid fired single shots at him and he easily deflected them with his lightsaber back on the droid. The droid stopped firing at the end of the training period and Kylo stepped out of the pod. “Got it?” he asked.

Rey nodded and took her lightsaber from her belt. Stepping into the pod, she turned it on, bringing it up. She wasn’t entirely sure what a proper ready position was yet. She saw Kylo hit the start button and she tried to ready herself for the droid. She didn’t even get a swing at the first shot before it hit her right in the arm. She jumped back in pain, “Ow!” she exclaimed, then put a determined look on her face. The next shot was wide and she was able to nick it with her lightsaber. She flashed Kylo a big grin. He simply nodded and pointed at the droid. The next shot hit her in the leg and she swore out loud. He was glad Rey couldn’t see him laugh. As the blaster bolts continued, she steadily improved, though still missing a few bolts. The droid dropped it’s arms, the training period over. Rey looked at Kylo and shouted, “Again!” 

The droid raised it’s arms and Rey tried to anticipate which one would fire first and guessed completely wrong. The blaster shot hit her right in the rear end. She jumped with a yelp. Kylo doubled over laughing, he couldn’t help it. Rey could hear him and gave him the nastiest look she could muster.  _ Don’t think, feel _ . She heard him in her mind. She gathered her dignity and readied herself for the next shot. She closed her eyes and tried to feel where the next blaster shot would come from. Before she could even open her eyes, she had deflected it with her lightsaber. Keeping her eyes closed, she continued through the training cycle perfectly. When she opened her eyes, she had a big smile on her face.

“Next level,” Kylo said. “The shots will come faster.”

Readying herself, Rey nodded. She closed her eyes again, trying to feel, not think. The first blaster shot hit her in the hand. “Damn it!” she cursed. Before she could even get ready, the next blaster shot hit her in the foot. She growled in frustration. She was able to deflect the next shot, but the next few either hit her or went past her. As her frustration was growing to anger, the training period stopped. She looked at Kylo almost helplessly.

“Steady. Don’t think, get ready,” he pushed the button for the period to start again.

She readied and was able to deflect the first shot back into the droid. She felt more confident but wasn’t able to deflect the next shot. She felt her anger rising. She missed the next one and the next, causing her to yell out in frustration.  _ Use your anger _ , she heard Kylo in her head.

“GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” she yelled, her anger boiling to a rage. She began to deflect each blaster shot back onto the droid, not missing any at all. She moved in closer to the droid, still deflecting each shot. When she reached the droid, she struck at it with her lightsaber, cleaving it in half. It fell to the floor, where she hacked at it until it was nothing more than a pile of bolts. Her breathing was heavy and she was sweating; she stared at what she had done.

The door of the training pod automatically opened when she approached and she stepped out. She went right up to Kylo and pointed into his chest, “I TOLD you no DARK SIDE tricks!”

He crossed his arms, “All I did was tell you to use your anger.”

“And anger is a tool of the Dark Side! I told you I didn’t want to train under the Dark Side!” she was shouting at him, her voice full of indignation.

“Look what you did. Look how well you performed. Look what you did to that droid. Tell me it didn’t feel good to destroy that droid. Tell me it didn’t feel good to perform at a level like that. Tell me your anger didn’t feel good. I only told you to use your anger. You didn’t have to listen. YOU used your anger. YOU decided to wreck that droid. YOU decided to use your darkness. All I did was remind you of it.”

The calmness of his voice only further angered her, “Take me back to my room now.”

“Are you sure? You’re doing very well.”

“NOW!” she almost screamed. 

“You need to calm down before I walk you through this base. Neither of us can afford anymore trouble,” his voice was stern and he was done with her nonsense. “And give me your lightsaber.”

“You don’t trust me now?” she snapped.

“Honestly? No. Your anger is still unpredictable. Until you learn how to use it better I don’t think you need to be loose with a weapon.”

“Fine!” she handed it over and he clipped it to his belt on the opposite side of his own. “Let’s go!”

He grabbed her arm silently and started to lead her back to the wing where their quarters were located. Neither spoke until they reached their destination, where Kylo keyed the code to his own quarters. 

“I said my quarters!” her voice was almost a growl.

“You need to calm down before you go and make an ass of yourself in front of the security cameras,” he snapped back. “Or have you forgotten you’re being watched?” He dragged her by the arm into the front room of his quarters.

She wrenched her arm away from him, “Take off your mask!” she commanded. He sighed and did so, rolling it across the floor. His eyes were burning with anger, but she wasn’t of a mind to care. She pushed him backwards with both hands. He stumbled back a few steps but was nowhere near falling. He stared down at her, expressionless. “You are so infuriating!” she closed the gap between them and pulled him down by his robes to kiss him. She kissed him hard, her tongue seeking his. He pulled back, surprised. “I hate you,” she snapped. 

He grabbed her with both hands around her small waist and pulled her to him, “I know,” he growled, kissing her neck. She grabbed on his robes, pulling him closer. He moved from kissing her neck to her ear, causing her to moan. He already knew this was one of her favorite spots. “I’ve been hard since you lost your temper in the training pod.”

She moaned and moved her mouth to his lips, her tongue flicking over his. “We’re wearing too much clothing,” she whispered. She moved her hands to his belt, but couldn’t figure out how to undo it.

“Let me help you,” he said, undoing it with one hand, the other still around her waist. It fell to the floor, their lightsabers clattering against the tile. He took the hand around her waist and used it to pull the hem of her shirt out of her pants, pulling it up over her head. She shivered, her skin still moist from sweat. His lips grazed across hers, down her neck and to her clavicle, his hand running up her side and under her breast, his thumb grazing across her nipple through the fabric of her bra. She pulled down on his robes again, kissing him even more fervently. “I want these  _ off _ ,” she said.

He stepped away from her and pulled his cloak over his head, dropping it to the floor. He then pulled off his robes, dropping them to the floor with his cloak. He looked at her with a smirk, essentially still fully dressed in a tunic, beneath which were suspenders and a shirt, as well as his pants. He closed the gap between them, wrapping her in his arms, covering her mouth with his. Her tongue greedily sought out his, alternating between deep kisses and teasing and nipping at his lips. Her hands ran up his chest, looking for the zipper to his tunic. She slowly unzipped it as his mouth found her earlobe, causing her breath to catch in her throat. He ran his tongue along the edge and a soft moan from his lips caused her to shudder. She pushed his tunic up over his shoulders and he threw it to the side. She stepped back, a bemused look on her face.

“What?” he asked.

“Suspenders?” she laughed.

He rolled his eyes, “Yes, suspenders. I can’t lose my pants in battle, now can I?”

“My evil space lord wears suspenders,” she grabbed his pants by the waist and pulled him toward her. “You can, however, lose your pants  _ here _ .” She undid the button and unzipped them, her hand grazing across his hard erection. She felt him shiver. “I’m still mad at you.”

“Good,” he said, kissing her fervently. “You do everything better when you’re angry.”

Her eyes flashed at him, “Your boots are in the way.”

“So are yours,” he replied, loosening the top strap on each of his and kicking them out of the way.

“So take them off,” she commanded.

He gave her an amused look, but bent down to take them off. He ran his hands from her waist down her thigh to her ankle, working his way down to her boot. When he had unfastened the straps on one, he ran his hands back up for a quick and gentle rub between her legs. Rey thought her legs might buckle right there and she used his shoulders for balance. He repeated this with the other leg, only lingering longer between her legs, teasing her nub. Standing up straight, he unfastened the button at her waist. He pulled her in close for a kiss, reaching his hands into the back of her pants, cupping her firm buttocks. In one motion, he knelt down, pulling her pants and underwear down, leaving her only in her bra. 

Kneeling in front of her he was positioned perfectly and took advantage, gently kissing her belly, then moving slowly south. She moaned and balled her fists into his hair. He stood, wrapping his arms around her waist again. He loved to tease her.

“Kylo Ren, you’re still wearing too much clothing,” she said in a hungry voice, her dark eyes staring up at him.

“Call me Ben,” he said in a husky voice. “Please.”

She stepped out of her underwear and pants around her ankles, slinging them to the side with her foot and pulling his suspenders over his shoulders at the same time. His pants didn’t immediately fall, but she made quick work of those, too. She couldn’t help but stare at the bulge in his underwear. She hadn’t realized how big it was and looked. She put his arms around her and pulled him in for another hungry kiss. She felt him hot and hard against her stomach, making her want him more. She unzipped the zipper on his shirt and worked it off, finally having him down to his underwear. “By the Maker, you wear a lot of clothes, Ben.” She stroked his member through the fabric of his underwear, amazed how it twitched and moved in response to her touch. He grabbed her hand, instructing her to have a tighter grip with her strokes. She snapped the waistband of his underwear, “These are in my way.”

“So take them off,” he smirked at her. She wasted no time, pulling them down and over his cock. She pulled him in for more kissing, her hand stroking him again. He pulled her tight against him, running his hands up and down her back. He stopped when he got to her bra, lightly tugging on the edge of it. She knew what he wanted, putting her hands in the air so he could remove it. He laughed and snapped it across the room. She put her hands around his neck pulling him down, finding his mouth again with hers. 

She started to push him backwards, making him walk a few steps. He stopped, looking at her quizzically. “Keep walking,” she said, pushing him towards his chair in the room. He sat down and she climbed up, straddling him. “I’m still mad at you,” she reminded him.

“Good,” he growled. “Use your anger.” He slid his hand under her, finding her already wet and ready. That didn’t stop him from taking his thumb and rubbing circles around her clit, starting slowly then going faster.  She bit her lip and leaned forward, putting her hands on his wide shoulders. She started to grind against his hand, instinct taking over. Leaning forward, he took one of her breasts in his mouth and sucked on the nipple hard. She let out a gasp and then a moan as he continued to work her nipple with his tongue. He slipped a finger inside of her, causing her to cry out. She was slick and wet against the leather of his gloves and she almost asked him to take them off, but then was lost in his movements. He worked a steady rhythm, then slipped a second finger inside, making her grind down on his hand.

With his mouth working her nipple, his thumb on her clit and with his fingers inside of her, Rey felt like she was going to explode. All of these sensations at once had her head spinning, but in a good way. She took one of her hands and ran it through his hair, pushing him into her breast harder. He took her nipple into his teeth and pulled slightly, sending electricity through her entire body. It gave her the urgent need to have him inside of her  _ now _ . She pushed herself up from his hand, her body shaking. He seemed to know what she wanted, what she needed. He took his hand and put it on his member, guiding it to her opening. She gasped a little, feeling it start to enter her, then she slid down further on her own, slowly until he was fully inside of her. She let out a satisfied groan and started to move upward, but he put his hands on her hips and firmly pushed her down, putting himself even further into her. She let out a cry and her eyes went wide, but it felt  _ good _ . 

With his hands still on her hips, he started to slowly buck his, driving up and into her. Rey put her hands over his, lacing their fingers together. She started to move her hips to match his slow, grinding rhythm. “Oh, you are a good girl, Rey,” he said with a moan. 

She looked at him with nothing but desire in her eyes, “I thought you wanted me to be bad, Ben.”

He growled, hearing her use his proper name. It stirred something feral inside of him, something he couldn't explain. “Dark isn’t bad, especially on you,” he had never felt a connection with a woman like this before. Their Force bond weaved in and out of their bodies and around them, making every touch more intense, every feeling deeper. 

“I’ll be dark for you,” the words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them and she didn’t care. The only thing she cared about was that he was inside of her and it felt exquisite. She started to move her hips faster, quickening her rhythm on him. She felt her orgasm start to build up inside of her, like a storm ready to hit. Wave after wave rushed upon her, making her cry out with each one. Finally, like a dam bursting, she climaxed, clenching around him tight and he pushed further up into her, intensifying the sensation. 

He watched her with amazement. He’d never seen anyone so beautiful, so sensual before. She was unlike any other woman he had ever known. She was pure, innocent yet dark. What she lacked in experience she made up for instinctually and her instincts were dark.  She had no experience, yet knew exactly what to do. A perfect balance…

She brought her hand to his face and lovingly caressed his cheek, lightly tracing the scar she had left there with her thumb. “You could have had this fixed, but you didn’t.” Her statement was more of a question. 

He turned his head and kissed her hand, “I didn’t want to have it fixed. It reminds me of you and because of it I’ll always have a part of you with me, something you did, something to alter me, something to physically show me what you’ve done to the rest of me.” He leaned up and kissed her. “But now that you’re good and ready, it’s my turn.” He gave her a devilish grin. He grasped her around the waist and stood up, surprising her. She instinctively wrapped her legs around him. He loved how easily he could move her small frame around. She was small, but sturdy. Lean muscles from years of hard work on Jakku, yet soft and supple on her curves. He carried her into his bedroom, laying her down on the mat. “I’m sorry I don’t have a bed--”

“I don’t care,” she said, interrupting him. “I just need  _ you _ .” She heard a low growl in his throat as he leaned down and took possession of her mouth. He slid his knee between her legs and used his hand to force them apart, causing her to gasp, but also smile. He positioned himself between them, using his hands to push her thighs back, raising her to just the right angle for him to enter. She ran her hands down his sides to his waist and pulled, encouraging him, but he stopped short, his cock just grazing her, causing her to squirm with anticipation. “What are you waiting for?”

He laughed, “I’m teasing you, making you wait.”

She made an unhappy face, “That’s not very nice.”

“I’m not very nice,” he said as he plunged into her hard. She cried out his name. He leaned back and grabbed her hips, not letting them go back to the floor. His gloved hands felt hot and smooth against her skin. She wrapped her legs around him, not sure what to expect and not caring. He was in her and that’s the only thing that mattered, the only thing she wanted.

He started slow, trying to keep an even pace so he could savor every inch of her, but he couldn’t control himself. There was no making love this time; this was straight primal sex and he drilled into her over and over. Rey couldn’t see straight, couldn’t think straight, she had never felt anything so damn good in her whole life. She was breathing hard, her hands gripping the mat beneath them, a moan coming out with every stroke until her voice rose to a yell, saying his name over and over. “ _ Ben!” _

Hearing her scream his name like that made him lose control. A wave of pleasure came over him as he put himself into her as deeply as he could, filling her with his seed. She felt him throb as he came and she clenched down on him involuntarily, making him shudder. As his orgasm finished, he thrust into her a few more times before pulling out and falling on the mat next to her on his back. She rolled over and cuddled up next to him, her head on his chest. She shivered a bit, “I’m cold, Ben.”

His let go of his usual hesitation about sharing his blanket with anyone. She had been kind enough to honor him with herself, so he pulled the blanket up over them and she nestled further into him. He reverently kissed the top of her head, wrapping his arm around her, “I lo-...” he stopped himself before the words fully came out.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide with surprise. She was overcome with emotion and didn’t trust herself to speak.  _ He loved her _ . Relief washed over her, all of her worries and fears melting away. “Oh, Ben…” she whispered. He rolled onto his side as she reached for his face, taking his lips with her own. Their kiss was fervent and laced with emotion, their Force Bond swelling the space between them, more intense than ever before. 

“You can’t leave me, Rey,” Ben cupped her face in his hands, the look in his eyes pleading. She’d never seen him so vulnerable before. If she thought she was in love with him before, she hadn’t scratched the surface. The look in his eyes made her heart plunge to depths she had never imagined possible.

“I won’t,” she whispered. He held her tightly and she laid her head on his chest again, clinging to him. He couldn’t believe what he just heard. Was she serious or was she just caught up in the moment? He didn’t care. Right now, it was enough; it gave him hope. She was thinking about it. He was pulling her closer to the Dark Side and closer to him; that’s all that mattered. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Rey stepped out of the refresher, partially dressed in a bra and pants, drying her hair. She was stepping to the closet to grab a shirt when she heard the door to her quarters open. “Kylo Ren! Will you ever learn,” she turned, finishing her sentence, “to knock?” She gasped, holding her shirt up to cover her chest. “You!” she growled.

General Hux stood in the room, flanked by an officer on each side. “After a man has seen you naked, does it really matter if he knocks?” his smirk made her skin crawl. “Oh, wait. Every man on this base has seen you naked.”

“What do you want?” she seethed, hurriedly putting her shirt on and crossing her arms. “Where is Kylo Ren?”

“I am here on orders from Supreme Leader Snoke to take you for interrogation. As for the whereabouts of your Knight of Ren, I have no idea. I assumed he checked in with you before doing anything, seeing as you’re his little pet,” he motioned to the officers. “Restrain her.”

Rey tried to use Force push to knock them back, but wasn’t quick enough. Each officer grabbed an arm, one pushing her sleeve up. She tried to resist, but they were too strong and held her firmly in place. Hux pulled a syringe out of his pocket, taking the cover off of the needle. “We can’t have any of your Force nonsense this time,” he said as he jabbed the needle into her arm.

“Kylo will kill you for…” she didn’t get to finish her sentence as the sedative kicked in, knocking her unconscious.

* * *

The room was hazy when she first opened her eyes, everything out of focus, her mind trying to make sense of itself. The room was dimly lit, reminding her of the initial interrogation with Kylo Ren on Starkiller Base. Rey blinked hard, trying to clear her vision, lift the fog clouding her mind.

“Ah, there she is, our little scavenger,” she heard General Hux’s voice to her right side. Both officers that had been in her quarters were still with him.

He came into focus as she turned her head to look at him. She was held by her wrists and ankles with metal cuffs into a chair exactly like the one she had been in on Starkiller Base. She didn’t bother to struggle as she knew it was pointless. Her mind was still foggy and her speech was slurred as she said, “He will kill you for this.”

General Hux raised an eyebrow, “Will he, now? Do you really think he’s going to throw away everything he’s worked for in the First Order for scum like you?”

“Killing you wouldn’t be a loss,” Rey struggled to find words at all, let alone the right words to hide her fear.

“And killing you will be even less,” Hux smiled. “Supreme Leader has grown impatient with your...progress. Ren has been slow to extract the necessary information, so that task has now been assigned to me. Along with the sedative you’ve been administered, you’ve also been injected with Skirtopanol, a powerful truth serum. Combined with some...encouragement, I think you’ll give us the information we’re looking for,” he paused. “Let’s start with some easy questions to see if the Skirtopanol is working, shall we?”

“You’re a pathetic bag of shit,” Rey smiled at her ability to say the sentence clearly.

“Aren’t you just charming?” Hux said in a droll tone. A droid hovered near him. “This is an IT-000 interrogator droid. Every time you lie or I think you’re lying, I will have it administer two prongs into your skin which will then cause your nervous system to send pain to every nerve in your body. The more you lie, the worse it will get. Let’s begin, shall we? What is your home planet?”

Rey thought about lying, but found that she couldn’t, “Jakku,” she replied.

“How do you feel about Kylo Ren?” his smirk alone was enough to raise her ire.

“I love him,” she blurted out. She had to figure out a way to fight the Skirtopanol and the sedative or she would surely reveal the location of Luke Skywalker and the Resistance base.

Hux laughed, “Oh, that’s rich. Supreme Leader will find that interesting, I’m sure. You know, he will never let you two be together.”

“No,” Rey snarled as she felt her anger rise some more.

“Tell me where Luke Skywalker is,” Hux’s face became very serious.

Through the fog in her mind, Kylo’s words came back to her. Use your anger. Rey balled her hands into fists against her restraints, fighting against herself and the drugs, “No,” she said, exhaling hard.

“Administer the droid,” Hux said.

The officer closest to the droid pressed a few buttons and it floated to Rey. It stuck two probes into her arm, administering an electric pulse that surged through her body, making her convulse in pain. It was less than she had felt under Snoke, however, so it only contributed to her temper.

“Where is Skywalker?” he asked.

“Tatooine,” she said. “He went home.” Her head was starting to become more clear.

“Lies. Administer the droid.” The droid inserted the two probes again. This time the pain was more intense, causing Rey to cry out, but also growl at the end of her cry. “Tell me where you found Skywalker,” Hux demanded.

“I didn’t find him,” she snapped.

“I don’t know how you’re lying, but I know you are or maybe you’re not and I just enjoy watching you in pain. Administer the droid.”

Rey screamed as the pain intensified, but as it intensified, so did her anger and her clarity. Use your anger. Her eyes bored holes into Hux as she defiantly stared at him.

“Where is Skywalker?” Hux shouted, his patience wearing thin.

“Tatooine,” she repeated.

“Administer the droid!”

The pain was even longer and more intense this time. Rey screamed and writhed in pain. Sweat started to roll down her face and she was breathing hard. Her mind was clear of the sedatives, though, and she was effectively fighting the truth serum. Use your anger.

“Where is the Resistance base?” Hux changed his line of questioning.

Rey smirked, “Tatooine.”

“Administer the droid!” Hux roared.

Rey screamed as the pain coursed through her body, wracking every nerve. Tears involuntarily squeezed out of her eyes, running down her cheeks. Her shirt was soaked in sweat and she was breathing so hard she started coughing. Spittle dripped down her chin as she couldn’t wipe her mouth but she still stared straight into Hux’s eyes. She was so angry she could feel her ears burning. “I can’t wait to watch Kylo kill you,” she snarled.

“Oh, it won’t come to that. If you don’t give me the information we want now, Snoke is going to kill your precious Kylo Ren,” he spat the name out distastefully, “and you will be the cause of his death. You’ll be strapped into a chair, just like this one, and Snoke will kill him right in front of you and it will be your fault. The man you love will be reduced to nothing as you helplessly watch his demise.”

“Nooooooooooo!” Rey screamed. Her scream was loud, long, and powerful; her rage boiling over. No one was going to kill him, especially not on her account. Her chair started to shake, the shackles on her wrists and ankles shattering. The base of the chair warped and she dropped out of it. The interrogation droid exploded, falling to the floor in a pile of metal and flames, causing the officer operating it to scramble. The durasteel walls started to bend and warp, groaning as the metal started to twist. The dim lights in the room started to spark, threatening to go out. Rey’s scream stopped as she brought herself to her feet, staring down the three men in the room.

All three reached for their blasters, only to have her use the Force to pull them from their hands and shatter them against the opposite wall. Rey looked at the officer closest to her. She twisted her wrist, snapping the man’s neck. She turned to the other officer and Hux, their eyes aghast in horror. She laughed at their expressions, again twisting her wrist and snapping the neck of the other officer. She stared down Hux. “You’re not going to have to worry about Kylo Ren killing you because I’m going to,” she reached out her hand, making a fist.

Hux’s hands went to his throat, grabbing at it as he struggled to breath. Rey moved closer to him, her face becoming more menacing by the second, never breaking eye contact. She heard the voice of Snoke in her head, kill him! As Hux started to turn purple, she loosened the Force choke on him, relaxing her hand. He looked relieved until she laughed and said, “I’m playing with you,” and increased the intensity of the choke again, this time lifting him off the ground so that his feet dangled and kicked in desperation. “I’m going to enjoy watching you die more than you ever enjoyed watching me.” She closed her hand into a fist and stared into his eyes until his breathing stopped. Seething, her breath coming in hard gasps, she held him there for a moment, then dropped him unceremoniously into a heap on the floor.

She stood there staring at his disheveled corpse, basking in the power of the Dark Side. Slowly she began to look around the room, surveying all she had done; the destroyed torture chair and droid, sagging walls, sputtering lights, dead bodies. She felt a mix of pride and satisfaction, breathing in deeply. As her anger abated, she began to truly realize what she had done and she did the only thing she could think of doing. She ran.

* * *

Something was wrong. Distracted, Kylo Ren took the end of an electrostaff to the side of his helmet, knocking him to one knee. He blocked he next blow with his lightsaber, deflecting it to the side. He stood up, raising one hand. “We’re done here.”

“What?” the other Knight of Ren pulled off his mask. “You can’t just end a match like that.”

“Jaxion, need I remind you, as the Master Knight of Ren, I can do as I please and this match is over,” he turned off his lightsaber and clipped it to his belt.

“Your girlfriend must be calling for you,” Jaxion smirked. “Never did I think I would see the day when Kylo Ren is lead around by his balls.”

Kylo reignited his lightsaber, putting it to the other man’s throat, “I have killed men for lesser transgressions.”

Unwavering, Jaxion continued, “Maybe we need a Master Knight that is more in control of himself.”

“If you question my abilities as the Master Knight, then we can set up an official challenge where battle is to the death, but I can assure you, you won’t like the outcome and I’ll have to find another Knight,” Kylo kept his lightsaber at Jaxion’s throat. “Until then, know your place.”

“Don’t be surprised when you receive that challenge,” Jaxion snarled.

“I look forward to it,” Kylo lowered his weapon. “Continue training,” he announced, turning to leave. Jaxion made a move to take a swipe at Kylo’s head with his electrostaff, but Kylo stopped him in his tracks with the Force. “Attacking from behind is not only dishonorable, but predictable.”

Kylo tried to look as casual as possible while leaving the training arena. Something was wrong, but he didn’t know exactly what. He had felt Rey’s intense anger through their Force bond and he actually used it to his advantage during the match, until he realized she shouldn’t have had any reasons to be that angry. Just as this realization surfaced, something shifted, something changed. He felt darkness wash over Rey, wash over him, like a black wave crashing on the beach. She should have been in her quarters. Alone. If that were true, what could have provoked such strong emotions?

He headed toward her quarters, unsure of what he might find. Rounding the corner, he noticed the Stormtrooper guards were no longer posted outside of her door, giving him cause for concern. He keyed the entry code and stepped into the room. She wasn’t there. He checked in the refresher and she wasn’t there, either. His mind started to race. He took a deep breath to calm himself. He reached out with his mind, trying to locate her. _Rey…_

Rey had stopped running and was sitting in the corner where two hallways met. She had no idea where she was on the base but once it was discovered that General Hux was dead, the whole base would be on alert. There wasn’t a person on base that didn’t know she was a prisoner. She felt Kylo touch her mind and suddenly felt silly for not reaching out to him in the same way instead of running around like a fool. _Ben!_

_Where are you?_ he asked.

_I don’t know. I was being interrogated but I got away and ran._

Kylo made a fist. The interrogation rooms. Who had taken her there and why? _What is around you?_

_I don’t know,_ she said. _Wait, I’m around the corner from a store?_

The commissary. She had to be near the commissary. Don’t worry, I’ll find you, he tried to send her assurance through their Force bond. He wanted it to feel like a warm blanket around her. He exited her quarters and grabbed a protocol droid. “Can you tell me where the commissary is?” he unfortunately had no idea as he had never been there, like many places on the base. The droid gave him directions and he almost ran, but composed himself and instead walked quickly. He couldn’t go running through the base without attracting attention to himself. Navigating through what felt like endless hallways, he finally came upon the commissary. He continued walking past, looking for Rey. He spotted her standing in the corner.

He wanted to grab her up and hug her, but he couldn’t risk doing that in front of so many people. He approached her. She put up her arms to hug him, but he grabbed her wrists to stop her. “Wait,” he said quietly. He wished he could conceal that she had been crying. “Remember you’re my prisoner,” he whispered. She only nodded. He roughly grabbed her arm and started quickly walking. He was anxious to get her back to his quarters and find out what happened and set a pace so quick that she had trouble keeping up, giving people the image she was in trouble. “Let’s go,” he sharply said.

Kylo felt bad for all but dragging her, but they had appearances to keep up and he wanted to get to his quarters as quickly as possible. He had an overwhelming sense that she was in very serious danger. He was glad that he had been the one to find her before someone else had. They arrived and he quickly punched in the code, almost pushing her inside. He tore his helmet off, sending it across the room, “What is going on?” he held her by her shoulders, then crushed her to his body. She wrapped her arms around him, starting to cry again. He rubbed her back and her head, trying to soothe her. After a few moments, her crying subsided. He stepped back taking her face into his hands, “What happened?”

“I killed Hux and two of his men,” her eyes dropped to the floor.

“What?! Why, how, what is going on, Rey? Start at the beginning. How did you get to the interrogation rooms?”

“Hux came here with two officers. He said they came on direct orders from Snoke. They drugged me and I woke up in an interrogation chair. He wanted me to tell him where Luke Skywalker is and the location of the Resistance base. He had an interrogation droid--”

“Snoke,” Kylo growled, interrupting her. “Interrogation droid?” he continued, a dark look coming over his face. “Did they hurt you? Are you ok?”

“They did hurt me, but I’m ok now. I was given a sedative and a truth serum. He kept taunting me about you and it made me angry. Every time they hit me with the droid, the pain made me angry. The last thing he said was that Snoke was going to kill you because of me and I lost control and started screaming. It felt like the Force was erupting out of me. I shattered and bent the chair, destroyed the droid, the walls started to bend--” tears were streaming from her eyes.

Kylo interrupted her again, “The walls bent? You executed a Force scream. I knew you were powerful, but I had no idea...”

“They tried to draw their weapons, but I took them and shattered them, like you saw before. Then,” she paused, choking back a sob.

He brushed her hair back from her face, “Then what?” he said softly.

“I, I killed one of the officers. I just turned my wrist and snapped his neck.”

Kylo’s jaw fell open, “Force kill? You Force killed a man?”

She nodded, “Both officers. I didn’t know I could, I mean, I didn’t think about it. I was enraged and it just...came naturally.”

He nodded, understanding. “And Hux?”

“Force choke. I... laughed at him while he died.”

Kylo almost laughed but figured she wouldn’t appreciate that. He could only imagine the satisfaction that came with laughing at the demise of that sorry bastard. He was almost envious of her. “Don’t be so upset. He deserved it.”

“I’m not upset because I killed them! I’m upset because I don’t feel bad or feel any regret! I’m upset because I liked it,” she pulled him down and kissed him.

He pushed her back, “Rey, what are you doing?”

“I don’t know!” she pulled him back to her, kissing him even more fiercely.

He pushed her back again, but not as far, holding on to her waist, “Rey, get a hold of yourself!”

“I can’t!” she started crying uncontrollably, sobbing into his chest.

“Rey, Rey,” he put his hands on the side of her head, rubbing her cheeks with his thumbs. He put his forehead to hers and tried to push calming images into her mind. The waterfalls of Naboo, green fields, mountains, Varykino, the lake house where Padme Amidala spent time with Anakin Skywalker. He felt her stop trembling. He continued to push peaceful, calm energy into her, a struggle for him; he had little experience with peaceful and calm energy. Still, it felt natural for him to soothe her. He would have to sort that out another time.

“Ben,” she whispered, “I’m scared.”

“You have nothing to be afraid of,” he said, gently kissing her forehead.

“I’m scared of myself,” she desperately grasped onto his robe.

Taking her by the hand, he led her gently to the mat where he slept. He sat and pulled her down with him. Scooting so that his back was against the corner of the wall, he pulled her close to him, holding her.

“Just rest for a moment, Rey. You killed Hux and that’s going to have very serious implications. I’m not even sure what the consequences will be yet. Snoke will call me to his chambers any minute…”

“Snoke knows I killed him,” she interrupted. “He...told me to. In my head.”

“He’s trying to turn you, I’m sure. I need time to sort this out, Rey. He could demand that I kill you, and I can’t. I won’t.”

She stared at him wide eyed, “Shit, Ben. I..I didn’t think about the repercussions when I was choking that bastard…”

“It’s done now,” he squeezed her hand gently, “No time for regrets, Rey,” he paused. “Have you...turned...to the Dark Side?” This wasn’t the way it was supposed to happen, not in his eyes, anyhow.

She lowered her head, “I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe I don’t have any choice in the matter and I have to accept who I am.”

Kylo Ren to my chambers NOW! Snoke interrupted, his command echoing through both of their heads through the Force.

Rey’s eyes searched Ben’s. “What’s your plan?” she asked.

His expression was grim, the look in his eyes somber. “I don’t have a plan, Rey. Stay here in my quarters, do not leave. Even if they come looking for you, they can’t get in here. No one but me has the code. Do you understand? Do not leave!’

Rey nodded and terror seized her limbs. What if Snoke killed him? What would happen to her? What if….

“Stop, Rey,” Kylo interrupted her thoughts, reading the fear in her eyes. “I won’t let him kill me, and I won’t let him kill you.”

Again she nodded, unable to do much else. She pressed her lips together in a grim line. He shifted to stand and she launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pressing her lips into the side of his neck. “I love you, Ben.” The words rushed out, tumbling over each other in their haste. She had to say it to him at least once before he… She couldn’t finish the thought.

Ben wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her closer. A moment later, he released her and pulled back, framing her face in his hands. He looked into her eyes for what he hoped wasn’t the last time. “I love you, too, Rey. Please don’t worry. Just promise me you won’t leave this room.” He gently kissed her lips.

She nodded, tears welling in her eyes. Before he could think about it any more, he stood, squeezing her hand before he turned to walk out of the room.


	12. Chapter 12

Kylo Ren intentionally took his time making his way to Supreme Leader Snoke’s chambers. This was a confrontation he was not looking forward to having. He couldn’t think of a positive outcome in any scenario. He felt along his belt for the relic, Revan’s Cynosure, tucked into a pouch he clipped on the inside of his belt. He always carried it with him but hadn’t been in a battle since he took the relic and Rey back to the First Order base from Tatooine. He had no idea what the relic actually did, beyond the description. He had been receiving odd looks from every single person he passed on his way through the base when he realized he left his quarters without his mask. No one on the base, except for a few, had ever seen him without it. He cursed himself under his breath. 

Of course, the doors to Snoke’s chambers were already open. He was there, waiting for Kylo; Waiting for an explanation on why the prisoner killed his top general, waiting for an explanation on why Kylo had been lying all this time about his feelings for Rey. Snoke had to know at this point. Did it really matter? There was no longer a time constraint now that Hux was dead. Whatever was going to happen to them was going to happen  _ now _ . Kylo entered the room, dropping to one knee,  _ for the last time _ , he thought. He waited to be addressed.

There was a long, extremely uncomfortable silence. Kylo stared at the floor, not daring to make eye contact with Snoke. He longed for his mask, his disguise, his solace. Finally the Supreme Leader spoke, “It seems we have a development with the prisoner.”

“Yes, my Lord. So it seems.”

“Do you think she has truly turned to the Dark Side?” Snoke peered down at him over folded hands.

“She is frightened, my Lord,” Kylo continued to stare at the floor.

“I told her to kill Hux, she need not fear repercussion from me,” Snoke continued to stare intently at Kylo.

Kylo refused to meet his gaze, “She is afraid of her own power, Master.”

Snoke nodded, “Understandable. She confessed this to you?”

“Yes, Master.”

“She is even more powerful than you, my apprentice.”

Kylo bit his bottom lip, still staring at the floor, “Yes, master.” He couldn’t deny the truth.

“So it seems we have a...situation,” Snoke was boring holes into the top of Kylo’s bowed head.

“How so, my Lord?”

“What am I do to with the two of you? Shall I have two apprentices?”

A wave of nausea came over Kylo. The thought of Snoke teaching her disgusted him, “We are not Sith. There is no rule of two.”

“I felt the emotion from you just now, apprentice. Did  _ you _ hope to be her teacher? Surely not, your studies with me aren’t even completed.”

Kylo felt his nerves harden and he stood, looking Snoke in the eye, “Perhaps my studies should be complete,  _ Master _ .” He hissed, not bothering to hide his distaste. He was tiring of this cat and mouse game.

Snoke laughed, “Really now? You’ve done well to hide your true feelings, apprentice.”

“She is  _ mine _ ,” Kylo growled. He balled his fists at his sides.

“I knew your grandfather and you are just like him -- only a  _ fool  _ would throw away everything for  _ sentiment _ ,” Snoke practically spat the word out.

“I am throwing away nothing. I am taking what is rightfully mine,” taking his lightsaber from his belt, he took a step towards Snoke and the dais he sat upon.

Snoke laughed again, “Now you wish to kill me? It’s about time,  _ apprentice _ ,” he said the word menacingly. “You have been blindly following orders for so long I was wondering if you even had it in you to try and kill me.” Snoke rose from his seated position.

Holding out his hand, Kylo pushed his focus into the relic which amplified his natural power. Snoke’s black stone dais started to shake, then crack from the bottom towards the seat. Cracks split through the seat and up the back, spreading to the arms as it continued to shake. Snoke began to lose balance as the dais shook even harder, then collapsed to the floor in a heap of rubble. Snoke tumbled down, but quickly came to his feet. The old creature was more nimble than he expected. Kylo ignited his lightsaber, “It is time,  _ Master. _ ”

Snoke immediately cast Force lightning, and Kylo blocked it with his lightsaber. Given it’s already considerable instability, he wasn’t sure how long it could even last against Force lightning. He raised his off hand, palm towards Snoke and began to push back part of the Force lightning to Snoke. Dropping his lightsaber, he used both hands, pushing back even harder. He focused on the relic, putting all of his thoughts into it. The Force lightning made it’s way back to Snoke, turning on him for a moment before he ceased the flow of electricity. 

“You’re stronger than I expected, apprentice, but that doesn’t mean you’re strong enough to defeat me,” Snoke spoke with disdain while executing a Force choke on Kylo, lifting him from the floor.

Kylo struggled to breathe, surprised at how strong and quick the choke was. He focused on breaking the choke, removing the Force from his neck, and was finally able to loosen Snoke’s grip. Snoke’s face registered surprise as Kylo fell to the floor, gasping for air. Having recovered slightly, Kylo threw a Force push at Snoke, sending him flying some feet into the air and into the wall behind him. Snoke hit the wall hard, the rubble beneath him vibrating from the impact. Not trusting his legs to stand, he instead levitated some of the debris from his shattered dais, sending razor sharp shards into Kylo’s face, dropping him to the ground with the force of the rocks flying. Wounds from Kylo’s forehead began to bleed profusely, obscuring his vision. He quickly used Force healing to stop the bloodflow and wiped the blood from his eyes with the back of his gloved hand. Snoke tried to rise from the floor, but Kylo held him there with the Force. Snoke quickly broke Kylo’s hold on him, sending Force lightning his way again. Kylo wasn’t quick enough to defend against it this time, taking the full brunt of the attack. It knocked him back to the ground, leaving him there twitching. 

Snoke walked over to where he lay, towering above him. “Did you really think you could defeat ME?” He put out his hands to attack again with Force lightning, but Kylo deftly rolled to the side, using the Force to call his lightsaber to his hand. Igniting it from the floor, he took a swipe at Snoke, but completely missed. It was enough to get Snoke to back away, giving Kylo the opportunity to flip up to his feet into a standing position. He swung and jabbed at Snoke, but each time the old creature was able to deflect his blows with the Force. Snoke then picked Kylo up and threw him into the wall opposite him with a Force push. Kylo’s head hit the wall with a jolt, momentarily stunning him. Snoke then threw Kinetite at him, hitting him with a solid projectile of pure energy. It knocked all of the air out of his lungs, leaving him doubled over on the floor, unable to catch his breath. The Kinetite hit him so hard it broke open his lip and chin, leaving him dribbling drool and blood down the front of him. 

He felt Snoke standing over him again and heard him laughing, “You disappoint me,  _ boy _ .” He posed to hit Kylo with Force lightning again, but Kylo kicked out and swept his legs out from under him and threw him back with a Force push.

“This isn’t over,” Kylo growled. He stunned Snoke by using Force lightning himself, sending Snoke into convulsions. Kylo smiled as he felt his power grow through the relic, sending more electricity into Snoke’s body. Snoke was still able to use telekinesis to send a large chunk of rock from his dais hurtling towards Kylo’s head. He was able to dodge it, but it ceased his Force lightning. Snoke rose to a sitting position, extending his hands while using telekinesis to lift a huge piece of the dais that hadn’t broken, flinging it Kylo’s way. Kylo put his hands above his head, catching the jagged rock with the Force, suspending it in mid-air. With a wave of his hands he threw it to the side, sending it crashing down. Kylo reached up and wiped his chin, then his forehead, damp with blood and sweat. The two adversaries stared each other down, trying to anticipate what the other would do next.

Snoke’s next move was something Kylo would have never imagined. He reached under his robe and produced a lightsaber; a double bladed lightsaber. “It would seem we are not going to reach a conclusion using the Force, my apprentice.”

“Apparently not,” Kylo brought his lightsaber back to him with the Force, igniting and spinning it. He walked aggressively towards Snoke, a swagger in his step. He raised his weapon to striking position, “Master,” Kylo said between gritted teeth. It was an invitation he was all too happy to extend.

Snoke attacked and Kylo defended, their lightsabers clashing with a burst of bright light that illuminated the whole chamber. Kylo was shocked at Snoke’s strength and dexterity; he met each of Kylo’s blows with a solid defense, attacking back with the next stroke of his lightsaber. Snoke wielded his double bladed lightsaber expertly; Kylo couldn’t guess where or from whom he had learned his skills. Sparks flew as the blades met again and again, neither combatant gaining ground. Snoke finally used a Force push to knock Kylo off balance, but it wasn’t enough and Kylo came back with an aggressive swipe at Snoke’s midsection. It didn’t land but Kylo spun and came down with a heavy blow from above his head. Snoke only blocked it, taking a step back. 

Growing tired of the impasse, Snoke used telekinesis to throw multiple pieces of rock from the dais towards Kylo’s head. Kylo ducked, barely missing the flying debris. While Snoke had one hand on his lightsaber, Kylo took the opportunity and attacked, sending the lightsaber flying. Kylo raised his own to Snoke’s neck, smiling menacingly, “She is  _ mine _ ,” he growled. Snoke said nothing, but struck Kylo with Force lightning before he could react. It sent him skidding across the floor, tremors coursing through his body. Snoke used telekinesis to send a large piece of the dais into Kylo’s skull, almost knocking him unconscious. 

“And you are mine,  _ apprentice _ , to do with and dispose of as I please,” he stood over Kylo, who struggled to raise his head from the floor. He raised his hand to dispense Force lightning again, but Kylo was able to take a sharp, cylindrical piece of the dais and send it through Snoke’s body, impaling him and taking him to the floor. Kylo pulled himself to his knees, looking for his lightsaber. Finding it, he stood and went to where Snoke kneeled doubled over on the floor. 

“She is mine and the First Order is mine,” Kylo put his foot on Snoke’s neck.

Snoke, struggling to breath, still tried to laugh and said, “Yes, but killing me will weaken you, just like killing your father did.”

Kylo yelled out in rage, igniting his lightsaber and driving it through Snoke’s heart. He removed his foot from Snoke’s neck and ran his lightsaber across it with such force it left a groove in the floor. Snoke’s head rolled from his body. It was done. Snoke was dead. He picked up Snoke’s lightsaber for future use, clipping it to his belt.

Without giving the chamber a second look, Kylo turned and headed for the door. He stumbled out, injured and exhausted from the battle. He hadn’t turned off his lightsaber yet and had began to walk back to his own quarters with it still on. People stopped and stared at him without even thinking of the repercussions and at this point, there wouldn’t be any. Kylo didn’t care. His only thought, his only purpose was to get back to Rey. The death of Hux had started making it’s rounds; that combined with the sight of Kylo Ren made members of the First Order completely confused as to what was going on in their organization and they didn’t dare ask the Master Knight of Ren, especially with that lightsaber blazing.

* * *

Reaching his quarters, Kylo keyed in the code to enter. Upon entering, he immediately fell to his knees, utterly spent and completely exhausted. The rush of adrenaline that had carried him through battle and back to his quarters was waning. Every inch of his body hurt, his face was caked with blood and sweat. Rey had been sitting in his chair, cross legged and jumped up when the door opened. Rushing to him, she wrapped her arms around him. She stroked his back and kissed the top of his head,  _ just like in his dream _ . Looking at his bloody and battered face, she started to cry. She tried not to, but she couldn’t contain her emotion. He looked like hell, face crusted in blood, hair slick with sweat. She stepped back and framed his face in her hands, taking a closer look, “What in the hell happened, Ben?”

“He’s dead. Snoke is dead,” he leaned into her, savoring her touch.

Rey’s entire body stilled, “He’s….You killed Snoke?” Her voice was incredulous

He nodded, wrapping his arms around her waist, “Now the First Order is ours.”

Rey was having trouble processing what she had just heard. She knew that Kylo had wanted to kill Snoke, she just didn’t think everything would happen so fast. What did he mean by “ _ ours _ ”? Her mind raced. She knew that he had labored under Snoke’s tyranny for a long time, and she was sure that killing him felt incredibly vindicating. But surely he knew that she couldn’t stay here? He didn’t think she…. _ Oh hell. _

Rey stepped back, out of his embrace, and knelt in front of him, “Ben….I…..” Where did she even start? “You know that I can’t stay here.”    
  
Kylo blinked twice, her words not registering, “Of course you can stay here. I told you I would give you the galaxy, and now that Snoke is dead, I will be Supreme Leader, and we can rule together. You’re no longer a prisoner. Once I set things right with the security team and other leaders of the base, you’ll be free to roam around wherever you please, train as you please…” he searched her face, “Rey, you can’t just leave me. I’ve worked toward this moment my entire life and I want you here, with me. You can move into my quarters, or we can move into a bigger space….,” he searched her face. Surely she wouldn’t just leave. She couldn’t. Desperation bubbled up inside him threatening to choke him.

Rey was silent, her eyes on the floor. She was being selfish, and she knew it. How could she ask him to give up everything he had worked for? She couldn’t…. But she also could not stay here. Her place was not here, and the Darkness frightened her. She wanted no part of the Dark Side, or it’s lawlessness and chaos. She craved Light. She knew that Ben struggled with his Light side as much as she struggled with her Dark Side. Maybe if he came back with her….   
  
“Come back with me,” she blurted the words as soon as they came into her thoughts and almost immediately regretted it. She knew he’d never agree. Why would he? He would face certain death if he returned, and they both knew it. She didn’t want him to come back only to be taken away from her, and only a fool would give up being Supreme Leader to return to the Light side and imprisonment. She sighed heavily.

Kylo stared at her. “Come...back? Rey, I’m never going back. I have nothing to go back to!” He stood abruptly and began to pace the room. Rey stayed where he left her, kneeling on the floor, her hands prone in her lap. Tears swam in her eyes.    
  
“I...I know. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking….I just can’t stay here, Ben. There’s nothing here for me…”   
  
“Nothing?  _ What about me, Rey?! _ ” Kylo exploded, fear and despair and anger intertwining, his battle wounds forgotten in the face of a far more serious hurt.

Rey jumped to her feet, “Did you not just say the same? You said there’s nothing for you to go back to - What about me, Ben? Just…” she put a hand up to stop him from retorting, “Look. I know I’m asking a lot, and I know you’ve worked for this moment for a long time. I’m glad you killed Snoke, and I’m glad you’re out from under his evil grasp, but this is not the place for me, Ben. I won’t ask you to go back with me, I can see that you won’t. But I cannot stay here. I’m sorry.” Tears filled her eyes as she turned on her heel and ran toward the door. Kylo stood motionless, unable to respond, unsure of what to say. He knew she wasn’t happy here - she may never be happy here. Asking her to stay for him would be as selfish as her asking him to go.    
  
“Rey, wait!” He called after her, but it was too late. The door opened and she was gone. Kylo cursed under his breath. His heart was pounding, his breathing ragged. He couldn’t lose her. Terror filled every inch of him; terror unlike anything he’d ever felt before. She was part of him, as vital to his livelihood as the heart that pumped his blood. He started to go after her, but stopped mid stride. He didn’t have any idea what he would say, and he wasn’t sure they could overcome this impasse. The only thing he knew was that he couldn’t lose her. Not now. Not when the world had finally upended itself in his favor.

He paced the room, restless. Walking into the refresher, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and winced.  _ I do look like shit. _ He stripped out of his layers and turned on the shower.

* * *

Rey had intended to go back to her room, but realized quickly that she didn’t actually know the entry code. She also couldn’t return to Ben’s room, not only because she didn’t know his code either, but because she just couldn’t. She needed distance and space and a chance to clear her head. She couldn’t stay and he wouldn’t go and she didn’t know how to compromise on something so important to both of them. She felt bad for walking out and leaving him. She heard him call for her, and she could have turned back, but she didn’t. She didn’t want anymore confrontation, and she didn’t want her love for him to weaken her resolve. She couldn’t let that happen. This wasn’t the place for her. She had a Dark side, yes…. But that wasn’t who she was; it wasn’t who she wanted to be. How could she make him understand? She knew that he struggled with the Light within him. Could she persuade him to live in the Light? Once she thought she could, when they were sharing a meal and wine and making love….her cheeks warmed at the thought of his touch, but she shook her head to clear her thoughts. The way he loved her made her believe that he could live in the Light….but now, she wasn’t so sure.

She wandered down the corridors absentmindedly, turning when she felt the urge, and by pure happenstance she found herself just outside the transportation bay doors, beyond which lay the entire fleet of ships that would take her from this forsaken place. Should she just get in one and go? The thought was certainly tempting, but she couldn’t do that to Ben. She didn’t want to leave that way. She hadn’t seen anyone on her journey through the corridors. It occurred to her that this was odd, but she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to consider the reasons. She assumed that someone would be guarding the bay, though, and she was certain they wouldn’t let her just get into a ship of her choice and leave. She peered in through the glass, angling left and right to see if she could spot anyone, but she didn’t see any guards. She did, however, spot Ben’s ship. She decided to take a chance and opened the door. 

Expecting to be confronted any minute, she made her way gingerly toward Ben’s shuttle. The entry ramp was open, and she walked up into the holding bay. She made her way to the captain’s chair and sat down, running her palms down the leather arm rests and surveying all the buttons and levers in front of her.  _ Oh, I can fly this. Easy. _

* * *

Kylo stepped out of the shower. He felt better than he had when he got in, and was considerably less sweaty and bloody. He toweled his hair and donned fresh clothing. He had to go talk to Rey. He slipped his gloves onto his hands and reached for his helmet, but reconsidered and left it behind. He didn’t need it to talk to her, and she’d just ask him to take it off anyway. As for anyone else he saw… Well, frankly, he didn’t really give a shit.

He walked out of his quarters and covered the short distance to hers, keying in her entry code. When the door slid open he stepped through, forgetting again to knock until it was already too late. He didn’t see her on her bed, or in her chair.   
  
“Rey?” He called out for her, heading toward the refresher. She wasn’t there, either. Panic inched up his spine.  _ Where the hell is she? _

Back in his own quarters he rummaged through a drawer until he found the communicator he never wore. Up until this point he had refused to wear it mostly because it annoyed Hux to have to physically track him down when he wanted something. He fiddled with the device and pinned it to his robes. “Captain Phasma.”

“Er, yes sir?” She sounded confused. He didn’t blame her. He’d never used the comms systems to speak to her before.

“Meet me in the security room immediately.”

“Yes, sir. Right away, sir.” She replied.

He grabbed his helmet and exited his quarters, covering the distance to the security room in record time. Captain Phasma joined Kylo Ren in the Security room as he was giving out orders to the officers there. “Surveillance of the prisoner’s room will cease immediately because she is no longer a prisoner. She is a member of the First Order and will be my apprentice as I assume the position of Supreme Leader. Do whatever needs to be done to alert the base to the change for security purposes.”

Captain Phasma cleared her throat, not wanting to interrupt Kylo, but wanting to make her presence known, “Sir, I got here as quickly as I could.”   


“Good, good, thank you, Captain. I assume you know that General Hux is dead,” he didn’t feel the need to mention it was Rey that killed him.

“Yes, sir. I was alerted as soon as his body was found with the other two officers. It is a great loss to the First Order.”

Kylo tried not to laugh, “Yes, indeed. He will be...sorely missed.” Phasma knew of Kylo’s dislike for the General, but opted not to say anything. “I am putting you in charge in his place.”

“But, sir,” she protested, “My rank isn’t high enough…”

“No matter,” Kylo interrupted her. “You are the person I trust for the job during this transition. We can deal with official promotions and other such things at a later point with the other officers.”

“Does Supreme Leader Snoke know of your decision?” She asked.

“Supreme Leader Snoke is also dead. I had already told the officers here before you came in. I will be taking the role of Supreme Leader.”

Phasma’s mask concealed her surprise, “Supreme Leader is dead?”

“I’m not dead. I’m quite well, I assure you. It was time for a change in leadership. For now, our objectives and strategies will remain the same while we are transitioning. Rey, the prisoner, is no longer that. She is my apprentice and will be taking a similar role to what I am stepping out of, but before we cover all that, I need your help with a different task.”

“Certainly sir...er, Supreme Leader.” Captain Phasma corrected herself, not used to addressing Kylo as Supreme Leader.

Kylo smiled behind his mask. He enjoyed being called by that title far more than he had anticipated. “Scan the security cameras and find Rey. She isn’t in her quarters and I need to speak with her. She’s free to move about the base, an order that I want relayed immediately. No one is to touch or disturb her, and I want the cameras removed from her quarters within the next thirty minutes, is that clear?”

“Yes, Supreme Leader!” One officer scrambled to adjust screens and flick through different camera views while another barked orders into his communicator. Captain Phasma began to communicate with other high ranking officers on the security changes the new Supreme Leader had made.

“Here, sir,” the officer working the security footage said after several moments, “She’s in the hangar, sir. She’s uh…. She’s inside your ship.”

“Good work. Do not let her leave.” Kylo turned on his heel and left the security room. He was furious. She was trying to leave without saying goodbye. Had her words been empty sentiment only meant to distract him from his orders? Snoke was right - he was a fool. He didn’t regret killing Snoke, either way, but the thought that he may have been right only served to further sour his mood. 

He maintained enough control over himself to keep from running until he was in sight of the hangar doors. He sprinted through them and down the corridor to the gangway, running into the holding bay and bursting through the doors of the control room. 

“So this was your plan!?” He shouted, his fists balled at his sides. Rey jumped, startled by his sudden entrance and his vehement words. “You’re just going to  _ leave _ , Rey? You weren’t even going to say goodbye? Snoke was right - I’m a fool. I was a fool to ever believe that you could love someone like me. You’ve deceived me, saying what I wanted to hear, manipulating me so you could get away from this base and go back to the Resistance!” He tore his lightsaber from the clip on his belt and smashed the control panels in front of her. Rey jumped out of the captain’s chair and backed away from Kylo, unsure of whether or not he would hurt her. She’d never seen him this angry. “You’re  _ not _ leaving, Rey! Not on this ship! I’ll destroy the entire fucking ship before I let you leave me like this!” He brought the lightsaber down on the panel again sending sparks and bits of metal flying everywhere, all but cutting the panel in half.

“ _ What the hell are you talking about!? _ ” Her voice was high pitched and there was fear and anger in her eyes. “If I had wanted to leave I would’ve done so an hour ago when I first got in here. I couldn’t get into my room! You never gave me the entry key, and I couldn’t go back to your room because…..well because, dammit! I needed space to breathe and think, and now you barge in here, assuming the worst, wielding a lightsaber at me! Maybe I should have left!” 

Kylo froze. He hadn’t considered the entry code angle.  _ Shit. _ His voice was considerably calmer when he said, “This is  _ my _ ship. I can’t barge into my own ship. It’s  _ mine. _ Just as  _ you are mine. _ You cannot leave me, Rey.” He reached up and removed his helmet, dropping it onto the floor. It rolled across the room, coming to rest against the busted panel. In two steps he was across the room and standing in front of her. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. “Were you really going to leave?”

“No, Ben,” her expression was flat and her anger wasn’t abating as quickly as his had. She crossed her arms over her chest as she said, “I can’t believe you would think something so foolish. I only came here because there wasn’t anywhere else for me to go. I don’t have the key code to get into either of our rooms, and I wasn’t about to come back knocking on your door to ask for it. I only ended up here by chance! I was just wandering the corridors! I needed time to sort everything out…” she pushed herself off the wall and out of his grasp. “I can’t stay here, Ben! I do not belong on the Dark Side. Yes, I have a Dark Side, but I’m not like you. I can’t give into it the way you do. That’s not who I want to be. I know you struggle with the Light within you - please, Ben. Please, come back with me.”

“I can’t go back, Rey. You know as well as I do that the minute I step off the ship I’ll be arrested. The crimes they’ll try me for are punishable by death! Why do you want me to return only to die? I don’t understand you!” He shoved his fingers into his hair. What the hell was she thinking? “Yes, I struggle with the Light, but I can never be forgiven for the things I’ve done, Rey. Why can’t you understand?”

“I’ll talk to General Organa. I can communicate on a private channel that only certain people know so they don’t know where we are. If she won’t agree to give you immunity, then we won’t go, and I’ll…. I’ll stay here.” She didn’t know what else she could do. She didn’t want him to die, and she wouldn’t take him back if General Organa wouldn’t grant him immunity. That much she had worked out, at least, while she sat in the captain’s chair. The rest….she wasn’t entirely sure. 

“You know that my mother will not grant me immunity. I’ve told you - she sees only light and dark. She doesn’t see grey areas, Rey. She will not go against the laws of the Resistance and grant me freedom…”

Rey was terrified he would be right. Her only hope was to make an appeal to her because he was her son. “I….You’re her son, Ben… Surely that will make a difference.”

“It didn’t make a difference when she sent me away.” His words were emotionless and her heart ached for him. “If you want to try, you may. I’ll take you to the communication room. If she grants me immunity…..I’ll…..I’ll return with you.” He couldn’t believe his own ears. Had he really just said that? Clearly he was insane. 

Rey rushed to him, throwing her arms around him. Tears sprang to her eyes and before she could stop herself, she was sobbing into his neck. “Ben, thank you. I love you. I won’t let them hurt you, I promise. If they won’t guarantee your safety, I’ll stay with you. I can’t be without you anymore than you can be without me.”

He wrapped his arms tight around her and held her to him, taking in her scent, all the tension in his body ebbing away. He ran his hand down the back of her head and down her spine. 

“I love you, too, Rey.”

* * *

“All of you, out,” Kylo commanded to the communications officers upon stepping into the room.

“But sir,” one protested.

“OUT!” Kylo shouted and they all scrambled to leave. He looked at Rey, “Do you know how to do this?”

Rey nodded, “I think so,” she adjusted a few dials, watching the display for the right frequency. Hitting the right number, she stopped and waited for a response.

A male voice came across the speaker, “This is a secured frequency for General Organa. Who is this?”

Smiling at Kylo, Rey responded, “This is Rey. I need to speak with the General.”

There was a pause before the voice responded, “Rey? I’ll get the General right away!”

Soon General Organa’s warm voice came across, “Rey? Rey! Are you alright?”

Kylo cringed at hearing his mother’s voice, but Rey was excited, “Yes! I’m fine, I’m fine. It’s so good to hear you!” Rey heard a cheer go up in the background.

“Where are you, Rey? What happened? We’ve had no idea where you’ve been since you didn’t return from Tatooine. We sent a search party there and found the bodies of the men that went with you, but with no sign of you, we had no idea where to even start looking.”

“I was taken prisoner by the First Order,” she didn’t include that Kylo was the one who had personally taken her prisoner. “They’ve been holding me at their base since then.” 

“Are you alright? Are you hurt? What did they do to you?” The General demanded.

“I’m fine, they questioned me, but I’m ok. I’m not hurt or anything. In fact, they’re letting me go.”

“What?!” The General was incredulous. “How is this happening?”

Rey looked at Kylo and he shrugged, “Supreme Leader Snoke is dead. Kylo Ren is releasing me.”

There was silence on the other end of the communication, “He’s...releasing you?”

“Yes and,” Rey took a deep breath, “he’s coming with me.”

There was an even longer silence this time, “Ben is coming, coming with you?”

“Yes, but only under certain conditions,” Rey said. “These are my demands, not his.”

“Alright,” the General said with hesitation in her voice. “What are the conditions?”

“He must be granted immunity from execution and you must promise to keep him safe,” Rey’s voice was firm.

“Rey, I can’t guarantee what the courts might do…”

Rey interrupted her, “Immunity from execution or neither of us are coming.”

The General was too intelligent to be so foolish as to lose Rey to the First Order, even if she didn’t understand her strange demands, “Alright. I’ll make sure that immunity is granted.”

“And he’ll be kept safe?” Rey pressed.

“Yes, I’ll personally see to it that Ben is kept safe,” the General had always refused to call her son Kylo Ren, no matter what deeds he committed, he was still her son.

“Good. We will be there soon. I’m not exactly sure where I’m at so I don’t know how long it will take us to get there. I’ll update en route,” she paused, looking at Kylo, “Are we taking your shuttle?” He nodded. “We’ll be arriving in Kylo Ren’s transport shuttle. I’ll use a normal frequency once we are off world.”

“Acknowledged. Rey, it’s so good to hear from you. I was so afraid you were lost.”

“It’s good to talk to you, too, General. I’ll be there soon,” Rey broke off the communication. She looked at Kylo, “Ben, we’re going home.”


	13. Chapter 13

Kylo Ren woke up so sore he could barely move. Rey was curled beside him, her head on his chest. He reached up with the arm she wasn’t lying on to stroke her hair, but he was just too sore. He flopped his arm back down on the bed. Rey had insisted they sleep in her bed last night and it was probably a good suggestion. He couldn’t imagine how sore he would have been just sleeping on his mat.  He gingerly moved his arm out from under Rey, partly trying not to wake her and partly because it’s the only way he could move. He sat up and stretched; every muscle in his body hurt. His head ached from the blows he had sustained in the previous day’s fight with Snoke. Rey mumbled and rolled over, Kylo reached to rub her back. She was warm and soft, tempting him to lay back down. He grumbled and swung his long legs out of the bed, cursing as his feet hit the floor. Even they caused him pain. His back cracked as he stood up and stretched again, trying to work the aches out of his body. He put on his boots and grabbed his shirt, not bothering to put it on. His goal was to make it the few short feet from Rey’s quarters to his own. He poked his head out of Rey’s door and not seeing anyone, made his way to his door.

“Uh, sir?”

Kylo jumped slightly and turned around. Captain Phasma was standing there, waiting for a reply. “Yes, Captain?” He said as calmly as possible.   
  
“Are you….are you alright, sir? Should I call a medic to attend to you…” she let the sentence hang, not wanting to push a sensitive issue.    
  
“No, thank you. I’m fine.” Kylo was dismissive, he didn’t need a medic. He needed a hot shower and rest. He was sore, but he was okay.   
  
“But, sir….” She motioned with her hands to his torso. Bruises covered almost every square inch of his upper body. His arms, stomach, back and shoulders were various shades of black and blue. She could tell, even from where she stood at some distance, that they would be worse tomorrow.   
  
Kylo looked down at himself and grimaced, “Thank you for your concern, Captain Phasma. I am sore, as you can imagine, but nothing is broken I assure you. Change never comes easily, as they say, and yesterday’s change in leadership was certainly no exception.”

“Is this a bad time?” She wasn’t going to push the issue, especially now that he was Supreme Leader. The last thing she wanted to do was anger him. She took in the situation, glad for the mask to hide her smile. The new Supreme Leader was standing next to his door, shirtless and in his pajama pants.

“Well, yes, actually, this is a bad time,” he ran his hand through his hair. “Could we,” he paused. “Could I meet with you in a few minutes?

“Of course, Supreme Leader,” Kylo could hear a smile in her voice and he couldn’t even begin to be angry. “Shall I wait out here?”

“Yes, that would be fine,” he turned his back and entered his quarters. He leaned back against the door after it slid shut, “Kriff.” He kicked off his boots and pajama pants, tossing them in the corner. He went to his closet and pulled out all the necessary items needed to get dressed. He had wanted to take a shower but that plan would have to be delayed. He pushed his hair back and put on his mask, feeling much more dignified than before. He straightened his robes and headed back out of the door.

“Captain,” he nodded to Phasma, “I assume we’ll never speak of the preceding events again?”

She nodded her head in the affirmative, “Never again.” She still had a smile in her voice and he still couldn’t be angry. He found her much more affable than Hux and decided to let her very slight insolence go. He tried to imagine Snoke skulking through the hallway in no shirt and shuddered at the thought. 

“I tried to reach you on the comm link but you didn’t answer. General Hux said he always had to find you and talk to you in person so I came here. I hope you don’t mind the interruption.”

“No, Captain, that’s fine. My comm link wasn’t...on me. Why did you wish to see me?”

“I wanted to report that the transition is occurring smoothly and the various levels of staff are in acceptance with the changes. There is unofficial talk of concern, but that is to be expected. There are some issues with my being put in command due to rank, but I’ve informed the dissidents that it is only temporary and official promotions are coming.”

Kylo nodded, “Very good. Well done, Captain. I was planning on speaking with you later, but since you are here, I might as well brief you now. As the new Supreme Leader, I need to inform our allies of the change. I will be going off world for a few days to speak with them in person to reassure them everything is still progressing as planned. My apprentice will be accompanying me. However, even though I am visiting allies, I don’t entirely trust them. I’m going to have a tracker put on my ship. If I don’t return or you don’t hear from me in seven days, follow the signal and send out a team to scout the area and find my whereabouts. Understood? Do not follow it before seven days. Is that clear?” It was an arbitrary time limit, really, but he figured he would know of his fate with the Resistance at that time. If they planned on letting him languish in a prison cell, he would have a surprise for them. He knew Rey would be vehemently opposed to the idea, which is why he had no plans of telling her. He didn’t like deceiving her, but he wasn’t going to leave his fate to the stars.

“Yes, Supreme Leader, understood. Is there anything I can do to assist you in your preparations?”

“Yes, actually. There is a wall between my quarters and my apprentice’s. I would like to have that removed, if it’s structurally possible. I am in need of larger accommodations.

“Of course, Supreme Leader. I’ll contact the architects today and they’ll have it prepared before you return. Is there anything else?”   
  
“No, Captain. That will be all.”

“Sir,” she hesitated for a moment, “may I speak freely?”

He paused slightly, “I suppose?”

“Nice abs.”

“Dismissed, Captain,” he shook his head as she walked away. There was a time he might kill someone for such a comment, but he was in much better spirits after killing Snoke. He wondered if Phasma picked up on his improved disposition.  With Snoke’s death, he felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from him.

He returned to Rey’s quarters to find her stepping out of the refresher, fully dressed and towel drying her hair. “I’m still amazed by the decadence of a shower,” she said, hanging up the towel and starting to pull her hair into her usual three buns.

“I could go for a soak in the tub,” he stretched his arms across his chest and cracked his neck.

She looked at him with a curious look on her face, “I’ve never done that.”

It never occurred to him that Rey had never taken a proper bath, but then again, she had only gained access to showers since leaving Jakku. It amazed him how many things were still new to her, “Maybe before we leave, I can get you in the tub.” He doubted that sounded as appealing as he hoped through the voice modulator on his mask.

“Oh, really, Kylo Ren?” She stepped over to him and crossed her arms, standing in front of him. “I think we have much more important business to attend to.”

“I am not sure what is more important than you wet and naked.”

She laughed and punched him in the chest. He winced, happy for the mask so she couldn’t see, “Do you still want to take your ship to the Resistance base?”

Mentioning the Resistance base dampened his mood slightly, “Yes.”

“Then it will need repairs since someone lost his temper and trashed the control panel yesterday.”

“Well, yes, that’s true. Why don’t you handle that? Head down to the hangar and have the technicians start those repairs.”

“They’re not going to listen to me!” Rey exclaimed.

Kylo put his hand on her shoulder, “Yes, they will. Supreme Leader’s orders.”

“Really now? I’m not so sure I like that. It makes it sound like I’m part of the First Order.”

He certainly didn’t want to tell her that was exactly the order he had issued, let alone that she was his apprentice, “I just said that I wanted you to be treated as my equal and in the unlikely event you issue any orders, they are to be followed in preparation for our departure.”

“You told people we’re leaving? Are you crazy?”

“I didn’t tell them where we’re going, calm down.”

“Then where did you say we’re going?” She demanded.

“Not that it matters but I said we’re leaving for a diplomatic mission to First Order allies. I can’t just vanish, Rey.”

“No, the point  _ is _ to vanish, where no one can find us. It feels like you don’t want to leave.”

“I don’t.” He said tersely. “I’m doing this for you and no other reason. Can I at least set my affairs in order so I don’t leave my life’s work in chaos?”

“I’m sorry,” she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I’m being insensitive. Just because I find the First Order,” she paused, unsure of the word to use, “distasteful, doesn’t mean I should discount your feelings. I’m sorry.”

He put his hand on her back, “It’s alright. This is a difficult time for both of us,” he reached up and took his mask off, hitting the button for the hydraulics and removing it in one motion. He kissed her forehead. “I can’t think of anyone more qualified to supervise the repair of my ship than you.” Her repair skills were truly remarkable. Kylo knew quite a bit about repairing ships from the early years with his father but Rey’s skills were far beyond his own. She probably didn’t realize he was also a competent pilot, as if the son of Han Solo and grandson of Anakin Skywalker would be otherwise. “Go see what needs done. I’ll meet up with you in the hangar.” He went to her bed and laid down.

“And what exactly will you be doing?” She looked at him with an eyebrow up.

“I have to make rounds with my subordinates and oversee some promotions and other small details before we leave.” He clasped his hands behind his head, “But first, I’m going to lay here for a minute and rest. Yesterday’s events have left me sore.”

Rey hadn’t taken any time to consider how he would feel physically after such a battle. She immediately felt a pang of guilt for her own selfishness, “Of course,” she said softly, “rest as long as you like.” She walked over to the bed and planted a kiss on his forehead, then turned and exited her quarters to find the hangar again and get started on the repairs to the ship.

Kylo lay on the bed for several moments staring at the ceiling. He really should get up and hit the refresher and get started on his rounds. He needed to figure out a way to slip the tracker onto the ship without Rey noticing, and since she would be working in and around the ship for most of the day, he didn’t suspect that would be an easy feat.

 

* * *

 

Rey had convinced herself that she could navigate the corridors on her own, without help, but now she wasn’t so sure. She’d been wandering for almost twenty minutes and hadn’t come across the hangar yet. She was starting to feel more than a little foolish and quite a bit lost when she turned another corner and ran face first into Captain Phasma. 

“Oh, hello ma’am,” Captain Phasma recovered quickly, catching Rey by the elbow before she stumbled backwards and fell.

“Uh… hello….Captain Phasma, right?”

“Yes, ma’am. Are you alright? Sorry about that. I didn’t see you coming.”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Rey brushed loose strands of hair out of her face and smoothed her shirt, trying to recover some dignity, “actually, I’m glad to see you.”

“Oh, of course. How may I be of assistance?”

This all felt a little surreal to Rey. Just days before she had been a prisoner whose room was under constant surveillance, whose every movement was watched and scrutinized, and who was largely considered a threat to everyone on base. Now she was being addressed as if she were a higher ranking officer than the woman who stood in front of her.   
  
“I, uh… Just call me Rey, please. I’m looking for the hangar, and can’t find it.”

“Certainly ma’am...I mean, Rey,” there was a smile in her voice, “You’ve come quite a long way in the opposite direction of the hangars. If you’ll allow me, I can escort you and on the way we can stop and I’ll provide you with a small device that will show you a map of the base for future use.” 

Rey wouldn’t be needing the map, but she thought about what Ben had told her earlier about the story he had given his subordinates about their mission, and decided to just go along with it.    
  
“That would be great, thanks,” she said, nodding her head. “I really appreciate the help. This place is bigger than I thought.”

“It is quite large. It took me almost a year to be able to navigate the entire structure without getting lost. The mapping device will be of great service to you, I’m sure. It saved me more times than I can remember. We provide one for all new recruits.”

Is that what they thought she was? A new recruit? She didn’t like the sound of that at all, but she kept her opinions to herself. She knew that it was important to Ben that they maintain the appearance of going on a diplomatic mission with intentions to return.    
  
“Here we are,” Captain Phasma said as she stopped in front of a door in the corridor. It wasn’t the hangar, so this must be where the mapping devices were kept. Rey followed her into the security room. There were monitors lining one entire wall and several technicians keeping a watchful eye on the comings and goings of other members of the First Order. She skimmed the screens trying to see if she could spot Ben, but was unsuccessful. 

“Where are the cameras that show my quarters?” She asked, blurting it out without thinking.    
  
“Those have been removed, ma’am,” Phasma said as she handed Rey the device. Rey turned it over in her hands, unsure of how to use it. She didn’t want to look foolish, so she wasn’t going to ask...Maybe Ben could help her. Sensing her trepidation, Phasma reached out and took the device again, “Hold out your arm,” she instructed quietly. Rey did as she was asked and Captain Phasma fastened the device to her wrist. Immediately the screen lit up and several small icons appeared.    
  
“This button,” Phasma said pointing to one, “will allow you to communicate with others on base, like myself and the Supreme Leader if he is wearing his communication device. He often isn’t. This one,” she pointed to another, “will bring up your map.” She touched the button and a three dimensional hologram of the base popped up in the air above Rey’s arm.    
  
“Whoa….” Rey’s eyes grew large. She waved her hand through the image, and when it only passed through the hologram, she snatched it back quickly, surprised by the lack of sensation she felt.

Captain Phasma smiled behind her mask. The girl really wasn’t that bad and she found herself actually liking Rey. She reminded her of a child, full of awe and wonder, and her tiny frame lent to the illusion.   
  
“You can navigate through the different floors if you’d like, but the mapping technology actually pinpoints your location for you. You can speak different commands to it, and it will help you navigate. Try it out.”   
  
“Uh, what do I say?” Rey was completely confused, bewildered, and awe struck.  _ This thing is so cool!  _ The Resistance didn’t have anything like this! She felt a little guilty for comparing, but not guilty enough to stop her giddiness. 

“You can say, ‘Map, show me how to get to the hangars’” Phasma said. Immediately the image shifted orientation and lit up a digital path to the hangars from her current location. Rey could see that she wasn’t too far away.    
  
“Thank you, Captain Phasma. You’ve been a huge help. I’ll make sure Ben...er, Kylo, uh… Supreme Leader knows how helpful you’ve been to me today. I think I can navigate to the hangars on my own now.”    
  
“My pleasure, ma’am….Rey.”    
  
Rey could hear the smile in her voice again and she smiled back, then exited the security room to find the hangars.    
  
Captain Phasma touched the communicator on her own wrist, “Supreme Leader.”    
  
Kylo answered immediately, “Yes, Captain?”   
  
“I thought you should know that I’ve given your apprentice the mapping device that you instructed I provide. She’s currently en route to the hangar bay.”   
  
“Very good, Captain Phasma. Thank you. The tracker inside is operational, I trust?”    
  
“Yes, of course Supreme Leader, just as you requested.”   
  
“Thank you, Captain Phasma.” Kylo broke off the communication and grabbed his helmet before exiting his quarters. He was freshly showered and feeling better than he had when he woke. The hot water had done wonders for his sore muscles, and his mood. He probably should have felt bad for putting a tracker on Rey, but he didn’t. He would need to know where she was if things went wrong on the Resistance Base and a recognizance team had to get them out. She trusted his mother implicitly, but he knew better. This was the same woman that sent him away as a child for his mere thoughts and curiosities. What would she do now, given his actions? 

He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. He had zero desire to deal with subordinates, promotions and other sorts of military nonsense he had never cared about, nor would. That was about the only thing General Hux was good for. Maybe he would consult with Captain Phasma when he got back...he stopped walking. He needed to stop thinking like he was coming back. In all reality, he probably wasn’t. He still hadn’t fully accepted this. Instead of dealing with other issues, he decided to head back to his quarters.

Anything he needed to take with him was probably already on his shuttle. He had five full wardrobe changes on board, along with casual attire for lounging during longer flights. Extra boots, socks, everything. His quarters didn’t have decorations; he had nothing hanging on the walls or even shelves with things sitting on them. He didn’t even have shelves. He looked into his bedroom, along the back wall, at seemingly nothing. He walked in, kicking his sleeping mat out of the way, while waving his hand in front of a seemingly innocuous panel. A doorway appeared, previously concealed by a hologram, a trick his father had taught him when he was young that he used occasionally on the Falcon. The projector needed was miniscule and the image was completely authentic, as long as no one tried to touch it. Beyond Rey in just the last few weeks, no one was ever in his quarters but he still had one thing he wanted to be sure was away from the prying eyes of others.

Darth Vader’s mask.

It sat on a small pillar, about waist high to Kylo Ren. The only illumination in the small alcove was from a single light overhead that was very dim. He didn’t need light for his meditations with the mask. He never kept the mask on Starkiller Base so it was never in danger when the base was destroyed. Kylo went and sat on the chair in front of it. He put his hands under his chin with his elbows on his knees. He drew in a long, deep breath. It was a little late to look for guidance now. He wished his grandfather would tell him he was doing the right thing, going in the right direction, but he felt that wouldn’t be the case. Or would it? He gave up the Empire to save Luke, turned to the Dark Side to save Padme. Was Kylo really any different? In his own mind, however, he was not finishing what Vader started and that was a failure. The chance to be with Rey made it palatable, however. Rising, he walked back out to his bedroom to the closet, removing the case he used for transporting the mask. The outside was nearly indestructible with the inside being fully cushioned and velvet lined. The mask was extremely fragile and given the time and cost to obtain it, along with the sentiment, Kylo wanted to be sure nothing happened to it. He gently placed the mask in the case, making sure it fit perfectly. He made sure all the locks were secure, picked it up and headed out of his quarters for the hangar.

 

* * *

 

As he boarded his shuttle, he expected to see Rey supervising the repair efforts, but instead she was under the console with one of the technicians, sleeves rolled up and actually assisting. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised. He didn’t want any questions about the case he was carrying so he walked on through the bridge area to the back of the ship where his private quarters were. He had a locker under his bed where he kept the mask and he placed the case there, locking the compartment behind him. When he returned to the bridge, Rey was out from under the console, a smudge of dirt on her forehead and her hair a little bit messy. He wanted to grab her and kiss her right there, “How are things going?”

Rey gave him a big smile, “We almost have everything repaired from yesterday’s...incident.” The other technician looked up at her with a worried look on his face. He was surprised at her tone of voice with the new Supreme Leader. “Another tech is out getting the rest of the parts and then we’ll be done!”

“Very well,” Kylo replied, “I’ll be back to check on your progress soon.” That gave him the excuse to go and look for the other technician. He needed to have a tracker put on the ship without Rey knowing. He found that technician as he was exiting the ship, “You there.”

The technician almost dropped the box of parts he was carrying, “Ye-, yes, Supreme Leader?”

“I need a tracker installed on the ship. This needs to be done without the knowledge of my apprentice. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Supreme Leader. But, there is a problem,” the technician looked terrified.

Kylo paused before answering, “What problem?”

The technician turned a whiter shade of pale, “Your apprentice has been very adamant about being hands on with the repairs. She’s been involved in every aspect and being that we are her subordinates, we must comply.”

Kylo nodded, “Acknowledged. I will distract her and that will give you the opportunity you need.”

“Yes, sir. I need to go get the necessary parts.”

“Dismissed. Do whatever needs to be done. I’ll wait for you on the bridge.” The technician scurried off to find the tracker and whatever other parts were needed for it’s installation. Kylo re-entered the ship, making his way back to the panel Rey and the other technician were working on. He loomed over them as they worked, arms crossed. He wasn’t really paying any attention, not listening to their conversation. 

Rey scooted out from under the panel and stood up, “Could you, uh, stand somewhere else?”

“What?” Kylo snapped.

“You’re making him nervous and we’re working on the navigational system, something neither of us want repaired incorrectly,” she blew a piece of hair out of her face.

Kylo didn’t know why he found her so incredibly attractive like this, but he felt his pulse quickening, despite his annoyance with the technician, “Alright, I’ll go sit down.” He walked over to his chair on the bridge and sat, with some discomfort. He was thankful for the layers of his outfit. The other technician retrieving parts showed up shortly thereafter, much to his relief, announcing his arrival.

Rey popped out from under the console, “Great! That’s all we need to get this…”

“Rey,” Kylo interrupted her.

She blew her hair out of her face again, “What?” Now it was her turn to be annoyed.

“I want to show you the rest of the ship.”

“Now? We’re almost finish…”

“Now,” Kylo said firmly. Rey huffed and took her gloves off, throwing them down on the floor. The two technicians looked at each other in amazement. Neither of them would dare to act in such a manner towards Kylo Ren, now the Supreme Leader. They both remained silent and pretended to work, curious as to what was going to happen next. “Come,” Kylo said.

Rey followed him past a few rooms that she wondered what they might be, but he was walking too fast for her to stop and ask, “I thought you were going to show me the ship?” She said, struggling to keep up.

“I am,” he stopped in front of a door, “These are my quarters.” He opened the door and she followed him inside. “You need to be less insubordinate in front of people,” he curtly said.

“Insubordinate? Are you suddenly my superior?”

“Well, I am the Supreme Leader,” he reached out and pushed her hair back from her face.

She reached and grabbed his hand, “What are you doing?”

He took his hand back to remove his mask, tossing it on the bed, “Whatever I want.”

“Oh no, not that. Not here and not now. We can’t…”

“Yes we can and we will,” he gave her a devilish smile. “You shouldn’t look so damn good when you’re fixing things.”

She reached up and pushed her hair back herself this time, “Are you out of your mind? I’m a mess.”

“It is quite possible I’m out of my mind,” he pulled her towards him and kissed her. “You drive me crazy, that is certain.”

She pushed back from him, “We can’t, there are people...the technicians will hear.”

He laughed, “So?” He pulled her back to him, untucked her shirt and pushed down her pants a bit. He leaned down and kissed her, biting her lip at the end. 

“So get undressed,” she ran her hands down his chest. He stepped back from her, taking off his cloak, belt, outer robe and tunic amazingly quick. He moved towards her again, sliding his hands down her sides, hooking her underwear with his thumbs and pulling them down with her pants all in one motion. 

He took one finger and ran it between her legs and she shuddered at his touch. “For someone that didn’t want to do this, you sure seem ready for it.”

“I hate you...sometimes.”

He kissed her ear and the side of her neck and growled, “I know.” He put his hand back between her legs, sliding one finger inside of her. She softly moaned as he worked in and out of her, sliding a second finger in. He felt her gasp and covered her mouth with a rough kiss, parting her lips and invading her mouth. She ground down on his hand and he obliged with a third finger. He took his thumb and traced circles around her nub, causing her to moan against his lips. His touch became rougher as his own need increased. Her hands had been pressed against the wall, but she moved them to the bulge in his pants. He groaned at her touch, pushing into her hands. “Enough,” he said. He slipped his suspenders over his shoulders and dropped his pants. He moved behind her and walked her to the bed, pushing her forward as gently as he could given his desires. She nervously looked over her shoulder at him. “Just bend over and put your hands on the bed.” She nodded and complied, her arms shaking a bit. He gently slid two fingers into her, giving her a soft introduction to the new position. 

She groaned and backed into his hand, “Oh,  _ shit _ , Ben.”

He growled again, grabbing the front of her thigh with his off hand. He held on to her leg for a moment while still taking his fingers in and out of her. The sound of leather against wet skin was driving him insane combined with her moans of pleasure. His cock strained against his underwear, looking for release. He took his hands off of her and pulled down his underwear, lightly stroking his cock with his hand he had just had inside of her. Her wetness was hot on his glove and made him quiver. He put the tip of it at her opening and pushed in just slightly, making Rey cry out. “Shhhh,” he lightly laughed, pushing the rest of the way into her, making her cry out again, but not as loudly this time. He grabbed her hips, gradually quickening his pace until he was driving into her, crashing his hips against her ass. Finally the intensity was too much and he lost control, exploding inside of her. In a haze, he heard her say his given name over and over. He bent himself over her and wrapped his arms around her. He dropped to his side, pulling her down with him and held her close, shuddering a bit. She snuggled back into him, breathless.

“Do you think they know?” Rey giggled.

“I don’t care. What are they going to say? I’m the Supreme Leader. Then again, I guess I should act a little more...appropriate,” he shrugged. “This Supreme Leader isn’t a shriveled up old dust mop, either.” He pulled out of her and away, flopping on to his back. “The refresher is right there if you want to clean up a bit. It’s small, but serviceable.”

“Good idea,” she hopped up from the bed more energetic than before. “We should do that again! Well, not right now, but,” she blushed.

“Your enthusiasm is noted,” he laughed at her as she entered the refresher. He felt his mood darken as he asked, “When did you want to leave?”

She walked out of the refresher, drying her hands on her pants, “I guess that all depends on how long it takes to get there. We’re well past lunch now. Maybe after dinner or tomorrow morning?”

“I’d like to leave tomorrow morning. I want one last night with you.”

“Don’t be silly,” Rey said, “It won’t be our last night together.”

He rose from the bed and went into the refresher, “True, we’ll have travel time. Maybe.” He exited the refresher and went about putting his clothes back on. “Let’s see how the repairs are going.” He put on his mask and motioned for Rey to leave the room. He hoped he had given them enough time to install the tracker.

When the re-emerged on the bridge, the technicians were completely finished with the repairs and cleaning up. They came to attention when they saw Kylo, “Sir,” one said. “The repairs are finished and all systems should be operational.”

“Very well. You are dismissed,” he was beginning to understand why Snoke had stayed sequestered in his chambers. Dealing with these small things was simply annoying. It didn’t help that he was restless and still unsettled from the previous day. “I’m going to head back to my quarters. I need to meditate or something. I’m not feeling right.”

Rey took his hand in hers, “Everything is going to be ok.”

“Make sure everything is ready for our departure tomorrow. The key code to my door, and yours for that matter, is 7-8-1-2. I’ll be in one of the two. I might lie down on your bed,” he squeezed her hand as he walked away, feeling more like a man heading towards his own grave than his quarters.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay in updating! I've really been struggling with some personal stuff and it's affected my writing. The next chapter shouldn't take as long to write and get posted. I have a couple of crack one shots posted, also, if you want to see Rey and Kylo in some ridiculous humor situations. Thanks for reading!

Rey lounged in her bed, half paying attention to the news broadcast on the Holonet. It was, of course, First Order sponsored, so she had little interest in the propaganda they were spreading. She was simply too lazy to change the channel and she doubted anything was on, anyhow. She was feeling drowsy from the dinner they just had. It was a grand one, too; Kommerken steak with ootoowergs again, at Kylo Ren’s suggestion. He still sat in the chair he dined in, skimming through a holobook, yet Rey could tell he was restless. His foot twitched and the way his eyes darted over the screen she could tell he was barely reading. He had been even more quiet than usual over dinner. 

He slammed the holobook down on the table, startling Rey. “What?” She said, annoyed he scared her. 

“I can’t do this,” he snapped.

“Do what?” 

“Leave here. Go to the Resistance. I can’t do it,” he stood up and began to pace the room.

Rey sighed. She had no desire to go over this and thought it was settled, “And I can’t stay here. I won’t.”

“Why do you have to be so damn stubborn? We can have everything here, anything we want, on our terms. With the Resistance, we’ll be under the thumb of someone else…”

“Your mother,” Rey interrupted, “That’s the problem, isn’t it?”

“No. Yes. It’s part of the problem, not only that she’s my mother but that’s she’s the general of the Resistance army. The problem is that it’s the Resistance and I am the First Order. Even when Snoke was alive, I was the First Order. You’re under some impression going to the Resistance is going to have some sort of happy ending for us and you’re wrong. There might be a happy ending for you, but not for me, not for us. At least here I can make my own ending, happy or otherwise.”

She stared at him hard, “You know I can’t stay here.”

“Why not?” He asked, exasperated. “You can have anything you want,  _ anything _ . I can give you whatever you want.”

“First off, if I want something, I earn it, not just get it because I’m fucking Kylo Ren,” she stood up off of the bed to face him. “Secondly, I can’t support you going out and randomly killing people, taking over planets and spreading rule by fear.  _ So, honey, how was your day? How many villagers did you kill? _ I believe in democracy.”

“I never randomly kill anyone. There’s always a purpose,” Kylo crossed his arms, feeling slightly defensive. “Sometimes rule needs to be spread by force. Look at the lawlessness on Jakku. Do you think,” he made a face, “diplomacy will work on a place like that?”

“I’m not sure, but flames and murder are certainly not the answer, either!”

Kylo wanted to be a smart ass and tell her that flames and murder were always the answer,  but he didn’t dare. He did let a sardonic smile play on his lips, nonetheless, “Rey, do you think I’m going to suddenly change when I get there? That I’m going to become Ben Solo? Do you think I can shed the Dark Side like a cloak from my shoulders?” His smile was dark, foreboding. 

She was unnerved by his smile, “I, I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

“Neither do I, but it’s not what you’re expecting.”

“How do you know what I’m expecting?” She snapped. “Stay out of my head.”

“I’m not in your head, Rey. I do know that you’re irritatingly optimistic and always hope for the best and want everyone to be happy. You’re the most hopeful person I’ve ever met. I also know that’s unrealistic.”

“Hope is never unrealistic,” she retorted.

“Did your family ever come back for you?” He regretted saying it as soon as it came out of his mouth but he was never one to think before he spoke when he was angry. The worst part was he couldn’t wipe the smile off of his face.

“You bastard,” she hissed, tears welling up in her eyes before she could even think of stopping them. “I can’t believe I love you.”

“I can’t either, to tell the truth,” he shrugged. “But let’s not act like you don’t know what you’re getting into. I’m not Ben Solo. Ben Solo is dead. You might see glimpses of the boy that was once Ben Solo, but the man is Kylo Ren. I am not a nice man. I am not a good person. If that is something you can’t handle, then perhaps I should stay here while you go on.”

Rey felt the tears spill over onto her cheeks and she covered her mouth with her hand. She began to sob in earnest, her body shaking with each breath. Kylo walked towards her, but with every step she took took one backwards until she was against the bed.

“Maybe you should just go, Rey.” His tone was even with no emotion.

“Is that what you want?” She whispered between sobs.

“No. What I want is for you to stay here with me, but what I want seems irrelevant,” he had seen Rey cry before, but hadn’t been the cause. Part of him wanted to try and comfort her, but the other was still angry and lashing out. He reached his hand up to caress her face, but stopped short.

Rey could feel his confusion and anger. “Why are you doing this?”

“I told you. I’m not a good person. Are you truly prepared for the consequences if I go with you? Not just the consequences of what will happen with the Resistance, but the consequences of being with me?”

“I haven’t thought beyond,” she paused. She hadn’t thought ahead at all. All she knew for certain was that General Organa granted him immunity from execution and that he would be kept safe. “I don’t know, Ben. All I know is that I can’t stay here because I will become something I’ll eventually become to despise and maybe you will, too. Have you thought of the consequences if I stay here?”

“There are no consequences,” he snapped. “I am Supreme Leader. I answer and bow to no one.”

“Until someone rises up against you like you did with Snoke.”

“At least my fate is in my own hands in that event,” he crossed his arms across his chest.

“And what of me, Ben? What would happen to me if you were defeated? You know, it is possible. I defeated you once. Do you think I’ll have a place in the First Order then? Will your enemies take me in with open arms? You haven’t remotely thought of the consequences of my staying here.”

Kylo shuffled his feet uncomfortably, “You’ll have the full protection of the Knights of Ren. I’ll see to it.”

“Unless they’re the ones that turn on you,” she had stopped crying and was becoming angry.

He wanted to say that would never happen but he thought back to Jaxion’s challenge before. It occurred to him that he really didn’t have anyone in the First Order he could trust but did Snoke? Wasn’t that simply a risk of being a leader? “That’s one of the risks one takes when becoming a leader.”

“No one is plotting to kill your mother.”

Kylo gave a sarcastic laugh, “That you know of.”

“No, Ben. You know that’s not how things work there.”

“Rey, are you so naive as to think there are not people in the Resistance with bad intentions? That there isn’t corruption in the mechanics of the New Republic?” He shook his head. He knew she made good points about her safety if something ever happened to him.

“You’re afraid,” she said.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed. “I have nothing to fear.” He felt her gently probing his mind with the Force, but made no attempt at shutting her out.

“You’re afraid,” she paused. “You’re afraid we’ll be separated.”

He didn’t immediately reply, just looked down to the floor. “Perhaps. Aren’t you?”

“No. Maybe, just a little,” Rey slid her arms around his waist, laying her head on his chest. “Everything is going to work out. I know it. I can feel it.”

“There’s that irritating hope again,” he laid his cheek against the top of her head, wrapping his arms around her. “I am afraid, Rey. I love you more than I could ever imagine loving someone. I never imagined loving someone until you and I can’t imagine ever loving anyone else. You are my Light, my Dark, my grey. You are my everything.”

Rey was so overcome with emotion, she wasn’t sure how to respond. She just held on to him tighter and let her emotions flow through his mind via their bond. Still next to the bed, Kylo bent his knees and gently guided her down, cradling her against his side. She snuggled close to him and placed her hand on his chest. Taking her hand in his, he brought it to his lips. He gently kissed each fingertip and each knuckle on each finger and thumb while gazing deeply into her eyes. His soft lips against her skin and intent gaze gave her chills, making her shiver despite being held warm against him. His mouth moved from her hand to her lips, softly pressing his against hers, his tongue lightly grazing across. Bringing his hand to her face, he caressed her cheek and pushed the always present rowdy strands of hair back. She smiled when his fingers tickled her ear. “I love when you smile,” he said.

“Why?”

“Because it makes me smile and I haven’t had a reason to smile in a very long time,” he kissed her again, softly parting her lips with his tongue and finding hers. They let their tongues dance lazily in each other’s mouths, discovering one another as if it was their first kiss again. Ben ran his hands up and down her back, savoring the way her body felt even through her shirt. He brought his hands to her waist and rolled on to his back, shifting her on top of him. She naturally straddled him, laughing as she did so. She hated to admit how much she liked that he could move her around so easily.

She took her finger and traced the scar on his cheek that lead down to his neck and into his shirt, “I’m so sorry.”

He took her hand, “I told you not to be. It could have easily been fixed. I thought it would be the only thing you ever give to me.”

Taking her hand from his, she ran it over his chest to the hem of his shirt. Lightly tugging on it, she said, “Why don’t we take this off?”

“Be my guest,” he said, raising his arms.

She smiled pulled his shirt up as he lifted himself up slightly so she could remove it. She ran both hands down his chest and over his stomach, tracing the lines of his muscles and his numerous scars. “It’s said that every scar has a story. You have many stories to tell, Ben Solo.”

His eyes grew dark for a moment, “Most, if not all, of those stories would be told as Kylo Ren and,” he paused, “would not be for your ears. I told you I’m not a good person. I’ve done things I’ve had to do and I’m not proud of.”

“I have to accept and love you for who you are. All of it,” she leaned down and kissed him. “And I have to forgive you for some of them.”

“Can you?”

“I have to if I am going to love you,” it was her turn to brush his hair back from his face. “I have no other choice and I would make no other choice because I love you.” She kissed him again, then moved to kiss his ear and nuzzle into his neck.

He sighed and rubbed the back of her neck, “I do not deserve you.”

“You deserve love, Ben,” her breath hot on his neck. “You deserve forgiveness.” He groaned as her hips ground against his and she felt him hard underneath her. She smiled as she swung her leg off of him and grabbed the waistband of his pants. He kicked off his boots as she pulled his pants up and over his erection, taking it in her hands before he even had time to get his legs fully out of his pants.

“Someone is in a hurry,” he smirked at her.

“Are you complaining?”

“Absolutely not, m’lady,” he put his hands behind his head with a smug look on his face. “But you could stand to lose some clothes.”

“In good time,” she smiled at him while slowly stroking his cock. It quivered in her hand in response. “I thought since I enjoy it so much when you go down on me, I should return the favor.” She softly kissed the head of his cock, causing him to sit straight up. “What? You don’t want me to?” She said with a not so innocent look on her face.

“Yes, of course, I mean, I just didn’t,” he stopped talking as she wrapped her mouth around him and started to move up and down. “Oh, kriffing hell,” he said as he fell back on the bed.

Admittedly, Rey had no idea what she was doing, but she figured enthusiasm would make up for experience. She found out she wasn’t able to go very far down at first, but then again, Ben wasn’t exactly small. Even without experience, she knew a big dick when she saw one. She started going faster but soon felt Ben pull out of her mouth. “Not so fast,” he said, almost gasping.

“Why? Am I doing something wrong?”

“No, oh no. I won’t last for very long if you keep going like that. You have me a little...excited,” this was by no means the first blow job he had ever received. He had been given plenty of blow jobs as Kylo Ren, but this was his first as Ben and yes, there was quite a difference and quite a difference that it was Rey.

Rey shyly smiled, “Ben, I have no idea what I’m doing.”

He sat up slightly to reach down and stroke her hair, “There is nothing you could do wrong except use your teeth too much.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him, “Too much?”

He gave her a devilish grin, “Yes, too much. You have much to learn, padawan.” He lightly pinched her cheek. “Just mimic what I do to you that you like.”  Rey didn’t say anything, just put her mouth back over the head of his cock and swirled her tongue around it in circles. “Aw, holy hell, Rey,” he groaned as she slowly started to move her mouth up and down, still trailing circles with her tongue. For not knowing what she was doing, she sure as hell was doing a good job, Ben thought. She was mesmerized by the way he smelled and tasted. It was much more pleasant than she expected; a mix of sweet and salty, still smelling a hint of leather from his pants he wore earlier in the day.

She took his cock out of her mouth and ran her tongue along the underside of it from the base up to the tip, then swirling her tongue around the tip and lightly sucking it. She felt Ben shudder as she did that, so she did it again, but slower and sucked a little harder when she got to the tip. She felt him shudder and moan with that and smiled to herself. She was beginning to get wet from his arousal, that warm pressure starting to build in her center. She put his cock fully in her mouth and began to suck in earnest, but still slowly moving up and down. Ben’s hips started to rise as she sucked harder. She started to go faster and she felt her own need to be touched growing. As she steadied herself with one hand on Ben, she used the other to push aside the waistband on her pants and find her nub, already slick and wet. As she rubbed herself harder and harder, she moved her mouth faster and faster on Ben’s cock until he abruptly pushed her off, causing her to squeal a little. “ _ What? _ ” she said. He had stopped her right before she was about to come.

“Stop! I don’t want to come in your mouth. Not yet anyway,” he said between heavy breaths. “Or at least you should know it’s about to happen and not be a surprise.”

“Oh...yea. Yes, thank you,” she wasn’t exactly sure what to say but he had a very good point. She realized she still had her hand down her own pants. She slid them off and straddled him again, his cock resting firmly against her ass. Ben reached out and ran his hands up and down her thighs, gently tracing every line of her muscles, taut and lean from years of hard work on Jakku and then training with the Resistance. 

“Hold on,” he said as he started to take his gloves off.

Rey tried to hide the surprise on her face but couldn’t. “You’re taking your gloves off?” It occurred to her she hadn’t seen him without both gloves off before. She was fascinated by seeing his fingers come out of the gloves one by one.

“Yes. I want to feel you. Really feel you. All of you.” He moved up to her back, running his bare fingers along every notch on her back, making sure to feel every inch of her, discovering every part of her body. Her skin was ridiculously soft, softer than he could ever imagine. He brought his hands to her breasts, cupping them with his hands and running his thumbs over her nipples, causing her to shiver. They were full and warm against his hands, a sensation he had never felt before. He pulled on her shirt, bringing it up and over her head, discarding it to the side. He sat up and pulled her close to him and she wrapped her legs around him with her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed his hands up and down her back, then placed one on her neck, bringing her head close to him and kissed her, slow and softly. He was glad he had never taken his gloves off with any other woman. This was a feeling he wanted to only have with Rey, something he could share with only her.

They were so close together that even light could not penetrate between them. His lips moved from her mouth to her cheek as he lightly dusted it with kisses, across her nose to her other cheek and then down to her neck. She leaned her head back slightly to give him access to the most sensitive parts so his kisses and nibbles could cause her to quietly moan in pleasure from just the smallest attention. She leaned back further and guided him to her breasts, running her hands through his hair as he sucked and bit at her nipple. She whispered his name into his ear as one breast was manipulated by his mouth and the other by his hand, sending sensations through her body. 

She brought his face up to hers to hungrily kiss him, but he slowed her down, “Easy now,” as he kissed her softly. “I want to take my time. This might be the last time I get to do this with you.”

Rey shook her head, pushing some hair behind his ear, “Don’t be ridiculous.”

He took her hand in his and held her arm out. Taking his other hand, he traced it along her arm from her shoulder to her fingertips, taking in every detail of it. His whisper soft touch gave her goosebumps and she shivered a bit. His bare hand felt so foreign against her skin but his hands were so soft from being constantly in the gloves it felt divine. Rey’s own hands had always been rough from her time on Jakku and had only began to soften up since she had left there. He took his hand and softly rubbed her shoulder, then her neck, pulling her in for another sweet, long kiss. He shifted his body to lay her back on the bed, gently spreading her legs apart. He put his body in between them and balanced on his elbows over her and leaned down to kiss her lips. He kissed her deeply, savoring the taste of her lips, brushing his tongue over them before pushing into her mouth. 

He didn’t linger long before moving down to her neck, then her clavicles, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. He made his way to her breast, making his way to her nipple and causing her breath to catch in her throat as he circled his tongue around it. He put his lips on it and lightly sucked and nibbled, making Rey reach for him and run her hand through his hair. She moaned and pressed his head down, urging him for more. He was more than happy to oblige and continued to suckle, applying more pressure as he felt her react to him. When he stopped, she whimpered in protest, but he still continued on his path down, kissing her ribs and stomach, his long hair tickling her skin and making her giggle. He couldn’t help but laugh with her, the kind of secret laugh two people drunk on love making share with no one else. She stopped laughing and inhaled sharply when he reached the top of her sex and started to give feathery kisses. His hair was soft and wispy against her inner thighs and only added to the sensation. He kissed all around the outside folds of her, then used a gentle finger to open up what waited within. He tickled her nub with just the tip of his tongue, sending electricity instantly through her body. 

She was always amazed at how sensitive she was there and how he knew exactly what to do to make her climax. He began to lick her in earnest, making circles with his tongue and then lapping at her, making her arch her back and grab at his hair. He began to suck on her clit and while doing so, slipped two fingers into her, causing her to cry out his name. He released her clit and worked his fingers slowly in and out of her, keeping a steady rhythm, but in no hurry. He wanted to savor every moment, every movement. He wanted to hear every breath she made, every moan, every whisper. He truly felt this might be the last time he would make love to her and he wanted to fully experience every moment.

His mouth returned to her clit as his fingers continued to work in and out of her and she was practically thrashing on the bed. She put her arms under his shoulders and pulled him up as far as she could, “Ben Solo,” she said. “I want you now.”

“Oh really? I wasn’t done,” he pulled himself up even with her face and kissed her. She tasted herself on his lips and it only made her want him inside of her more. He took his hand and led his cock to her opening and slowly entered. He heard her gasp as he penetrated her deeper and deeper, ridiculously slow. He grabbed her hands and pulled them above her head, lacing their fingers together. Soon he was fully in her and his chest was against hers. “Better?” She only quickly nodded in reply, biting her lower lip. He started a maddeningly slow rhythm, going almost all the way out of her to all the way in, inch by inch. He wanted to feel as much of her as he could, as slowly as he could, before he lost control. Rey squirmed under him, wishing he would go faster. “In good time, like you told me earlier,” he gave her a wicked grin. 

She returned his grin, “I hate you.” She raised her legs up and wrapped them around his waist, changing the angle of his penetration.

“I know,” he said, as he quickened his pace. Her fingers tightened around his and she moaned, a low, guttural sound. Soon he couldn’t help but go faster, her hips bucking up to meet his as he drove into her over and over, as they both were climbing towards their peaks. Rey hit hers first, crying out Ben’s name over and over as white lights exploded and waves of ecstasy flowed over her body. Ben wasn’t far behind as he emptied his seed into her, driving deep and hard, burying himself within her as far as he could. He shuddered as the last of his orgasm overtook him. He collapsed next to Rey, immediately pulling her to his chest. She snuggled as close to him as she could, wrapping her arm across his broad chest. He ran his hand through her hair, while he kissed the top of her head.

“I won’t let them take you from me,” she said.

“Hmmm?” Ben murmured. 

“When we get there, I won’t let them take you from me,” she trailed her fingers along his chest. “We won’t be separated.”

He was starting to doze off, “I know you won’t.”

“I know I don’t express my feelings as well as you,” she paused. “And I wouldn’t admit to them as readily as you, but that doesn’t mean they’re not as strong or as true as yours.”

He squeezed her a bit, “I know, love. I can tell how you feel through our bond.” He yawned. “Go to sleep. Tomorrow will be exhausting no matter what happens.” He took the blanket and threw it over both of them. Rey only nodded and closed her eyes to go to sleep.

* * *

"Ready?” Rey made all the necessary manipulations for shutdown on Kylo Ren’s shuttle as she landed in the hangar of the Resistance base.

“No,” Kylo said flatly as he rose out of his chair and straightened his robe. He placed his mask on, the hiss of the hydraulics holding it in place. He arranged his hood over it. “Let’s get this over with.”

“You’re wearing that?” she asked.

“Yes. They want Kylo Ren, they’re getting Kylo Ren.”

“Don’t you think you look a bit threatening?”

“I like to think I’m threatening but approachable.”

Rey shook her head, “Now is not the time for your antics.” She held out her hand, but he didn’t take it. “What?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“Bringing Kylo Ren back to the Resistance is a big enough bomb shell. Bringing Kylo Ren back as your boyfriend might be just a little too much. We should take it slowly.”

“You’re right,” Rey nodded. “Let’s see how things go. The gangway is down.”

Kylo pulled himself up to his full height. “Let’s go.” He followed Rey through the shuttle to the gangway.

As Rey exited the shuttle, she practically ran to where General Organa, Finn, Poe and a few others were standing in the hangar, waiting for them to deboard. There was a semi circle of Resistance soldiers around them with short blasters at the ready and behind them was a row of Resistance soldiers with rifle blasters ready and another row in front of them on one knee, also with rifle blasters at the ready. Kylo did not follow at Rey’s pace, but slowly walked in the direction she took. He did make sure to keep his hands to the front and made sure they could see them. He was fairly sure if he made any sort of move that was too quick or just anything remotely suspicious, it would be his last move. It was clear the blasters were pointed in his direction and not Rey’s as he moved slightly to the right of where she was and all of the soldiers deviated to that angle. Kylo smiled behind his mask.  _ Welcome home, Ren _ , he wryly thought. He stopped a few feet short of the circle Rey was now surrounded in, being greeted by the friends she had so desperately wanted to get back to for reasons that Kylo couldn’t fathom.

General Organa was the first to embrace her, “Rey, I’m so glad you’re alright. We had almost lost hope of finding you.” The General did glance over Rey’s shoulder to get a glimpse of Kylo Ren as he stood off to the side of the group.

Rey hugged her back as hard as she could, “I had lost hope of ever getting out of there! But then Ben killed Snoke…”

Finn interrupted her, “Kylo Ren killed Supreme Leader Snoke?”

“Yes, FN-2187, I killed Supreme Leader Snoke,” Kylo said, his voice robotic through the modulator on the mask. “Why do you sound so surprised? You have seen me kill.”

“I just, nothing. I’m just glad Rey is home,” Finn turned his attention away from Kylo. He could truly care less if the man that had tried to kill him had killed Snoke, was there or really anything. The only thing that mattered was that Rey was back with them. He then grabbed Rey up in a hug and spun her around, causing Kylo to bristle and ball his hands into fists. Finn shot Kylo a dirty look over Rey’s shoulder as he kissed her on the cheek. It was all Kylo could do to not Force choke him right then and there and finish what he should have on Starkiller base.

BB-8 rolled up and bumped into Rey’s leg, beeping excitedly. “Yes, I’ve missed you, too, Bee Bee Ate!” Rey leaned down and gave the little droid a hug. Kylo cocked his head and admired how she was kind to every being she encountered, sentient or otherwise. The only time she wasn’t was she was in danger and that was certainly acceptable. Kylo sighed as he began to realize that she was right. She didn’t belong on the Dark Side, as part of the First Order and maybe not even with him. However, this wasn’t the time nor place to contemplate that.

“Poe!” Rey stood up and greeted the pilot with a huge hug.

“Rey!” he shouted, then lowered his voice. “Did he hurt you? Did he do anything to you? I’ll kill him if he did anything to you.”

Kylo chuckled behind his mask,  _ “If you only knew, Dameron,”  _ he thought.

“No, no Poe. Not at all. Not even once. He was gracious and kind, he got me better rooms and food. I really was his guest.”

Poe gave her a funny look, “Rey, you were his prisoner.”

“Well, yes, but I was never in any danger from him. Others yes, but…” Rey stopped, not knowing how to explain without revealing their relationship.

General Organa put a hand on her shoulder, “It doesn’t matter, Rey. All that matters is that you’re here with us now and you’re safe. We’ll have you go to the med bay for a physical to make sure you’re alright and figure out what we’re going to do from there. I’ll need to debrief you at some point, I’m sure your friends would like to celebrate and I’m sure you’d like to get some rest. I imagine you didn’t sleep well during your imprisonment.” Rey didn’t know how to respond to that, given she had been sleeping in a bed with the General’s son so she just nodded. The General took a few steps forward. “Ben.”

“General Organa.”

“You’re certainly much taller than the last time I’ve seen you,” she said. The soldiers with the short blasters moved with her, keeping her surrounded. Poe, Finn and Rey stayed where they were.

“That happens after fifteen years,” he dryly responded.

“Will you remove your mask so I can see the face of the man my son has grown into?”

“Your son is gone but you may see the face of Kylo Ren,” he reached up and pressed the buttons to release the hydraulics to the mask and removed it.

Her breath caught in her throat as she looked upon her son. He had indeed grown into a man, but the same sad eyes were still there. The same soft lips that had never smiled enough as a child and probably never smiled as a man. General Organa felt tears coming and made no effort to stop them.

“I’m sorry, Ben. I’m sorry for what happened then and I’m sorry for what’s going to happen now,” before he could even react, the soldiers around her were now surrounding him. Two flanked him from behind and kicked him in the back of the knee, buckling him forward, where he landed on his knees. Two others grabbed his arms before he fell to the floor and put them behind him, placing Mandalorian shackles on his wrists. Mandalorian shackles were strong enough that they could even bind Force users. His mask rolled away, resting near Rey’s feet.

“NO!” Rey tried to go to Kylo, but Finn and Poe held her back. “General, what are you doing?”

“Forgive me, Rey,” she looked from Rey to Kylo, “but I have to protect the Resistance and those who are loyal to the cause.”

“You promised me he would be kept safe!” Rey now had tears to match General Organa’s.

“And he will be kept safe. In a cell. Ben Solo, also known as Kylo Ren, you are under arrest for war crimes against the New Republic, up to and including the destruction of the Hosnian system, the murder of Lor San Tekka and the murder,” General Organa’s voice hung up in her throat, “and for the murder of Han Solo. Take him to detention.”

“NO! You can’t!” Rey tried to follow the soldiers, but Finn and Poe still had a firm grip on her.

“Rey, what is wrong with you?” Finn asked, holding one of her shoulders while Poe held the other.

“They can’t take him!” she sobbed. “I promised him! BEN!” She cried out.

He looked back at her, “Rey!” He shouted.

Rey struggled to get away from Finn and Poe, “You can’t take him! I won’t let you take him!  _ I LOVE HIM! _ ” Light fixtures started to pop and the sound of durasteel bending could be heard.

“REY,  _ NO _ !” Kylo yelled, looking back at her again. “STOP! We’ll figure this out. Everything will be alright!”

Rey sank to the floor, still being held by Finn and Poe, “They can’t take him,” she sobbed. “I promised him we would stay together.”

“You love him?” Poe said, incredulous. “Rey, what happened there?”

She noticed his helmet and picked it up as she stood back up, only to watch them lead Kylo out of the hangar, “I promised him,” she repeated, clutching his helmet to her chest.

“Rey,” Finn said, looking at her like she was a stranger, “What in the hell is going on?”

  
  
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back from the dead! ha! I was working on my piece for the Reylo Anthology, so this was put on hold while I was working on that. I'm back! Hopefully you guys enjoy this new chapter!

Everything was too bright. The lights. The hallways. The sun streaming in from the windows. Rey squinted her eyes as she was led to her quarters by her still confused friends, Finn and Poe Dameron. General Leia Organa had tried to approach her in the hangar but Rey all but ran from her, having no desire to speak with her after having Kylo Ren arrested and taken away to detention for murder and war crimes against the New Republic.

“Rey,” Finn said, but stopped as Poe looked over Rey’s head, signaling him not to say anything just yet. Rey’s tears had stopped but she still clutched Kylo Ren’s mask to her chest. It felt odd to hold onto a thing she had hated so much…. but now it was all she had left of him. For now. They reached Rey’s quarters and she keyed in the code for entry. When the door didn’t open, she tried again, frustrated. She then realized she was keying in the code for her quarters at the First Order base. Tears welled up in her eyes again as she tried to remember the pass code for her quarters here at the Resistance base. Finn put his hand on her shoulder, “It’s ok, Rey.”

She wiped her eyes and nodded as she remembered the right numbers. The door to her room hissed open. They entered. Poe flipped on both sets of lights, almost blinding Rey. She reached over and turned one set off, darkening the room a little. Finn and Poe exchanged worried glances, but didn’t say anything. “The First Order didn’t have such harsh lighting,” Rey said blandly. She took Kylo’s mask and threw it across the room into the corner. Finn and Poe took a step back as she did so; it felt good, familiar. She wondered how many times Kylo had entered his own quarters and done that. She looked over at Finn and then Poe. “Would you like to come in?”

Rey had a small couch towards the back of her space. All three headed for it, Rey in the middle, Poe to the left and Finn to the right. Rey leaned over and put her head on Poe’s shoulder and he cradled her. Finn wrapped his arms around her back and hugged her. They all sat like that for a moment, until Finn finally straightened himself and broke the silence. “Rey.”

“I know,” she said. “You want to know what happened.”

Poe kissed the top of her head, “It is a bit much to take in, love.”

“He’s not all that you think he is. Not entirely.”

“Rey, he tried to kill you!” Finn exclaimed. “He tried to kill me!”

“No, Finn. He didn’t try to kill me,” she said. “He did try to kill you, though.” She had to concede that.

“How can you possibly defend him, Rey?” asked Finn, already exasperated. “You watched him murder Han Solo. _We_ watched him murder Han Solo, his own father. How can you even have any sort of feelings for a monster like that?”

Rey shook her head, “It will take longer than you want to give me right now to explain everything.”

Poe stroked the top of her head, “We want to understand, Rey, but you have to tell us how this has happened. What did he do to you?”

Rey looked at him with pleading eyes, “Poe, he didn’t _do_ anything to me. He was supposed to torture me, question me, find out where Luke Skywalker is, get me to reveal the location of this very base and if he couldn’t, he was supposed to kill me and he did _none of that_. None of it. He didn’t even try. He had dinner with me and talked with me and trained with me and,” she stopped.  “He is a monster, but not entirely. There is still Light in him. I’ve seen it and I’ve felt it.” She paused again, unsure if she should continue. “And he is scared.”

“He should be,” Finn said. “He’ll be executed for his crimes.”

“No,” Rey said. “He’s been granted immunity from execution. It was a term of my return.”

Finn blew out a long breath, “Rey, you have no idea what you have gotten yourself into. You haven’t seen the things I have or experienced them!”

“Finn, wait a minute,” Poe said.

“No, Poe, I can’t let her go down a road she’s not prepared to take!” Finn stood up as his voice rose.

Rey rose from the couch to meet him, but her voice did not, “Do you think I’m some innocent flower plucked from the sands of Jakku? That I’ve not seen things or done things that might be questionable? Do you think I had never killed before meeting you, Finn?” Finn started to speak but Rey stopped him. “I killed my first man on Jakku when I was twelve. He tried to steal my portions and my virtue. He got neither. The last man I killed has left the First Order without a military leader and I took their figurehead with me when I left. Do you dare to talk down to me further?”

Poe and Finn looked at each other, exchanging concerned looks, with Poe speaking, “The last man you killed?”

“I killed General Hux,” she said flatly.

“I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing,” Finn said. “I’m glad the bastard is gone, but I don’t know if I’m glad that you’re the one that did it, Rey.”

She shrugged, “I had no choice,” she knew she was lying. “I was afraid he was going to kill me.” She sat back down, Finn joining her.

“So Hux is dead and Kylo Ren is here,” Poe said. “Who is running the First Order?”

“I don’t know,” Rey said. “Ben said he was making some arrangements before we left but I didn’t ask for details. I don’t care.”

“Now would be an excellent time for a strike! Do you know where the base is?” Poe asked.

“No more than Ben knows where this one is. We agreed to not give each other an advantage over the other on coordinates. We’re trying to make the exchange as even as possible. I know it sounds crazy but,” she stopped again. “I don’t expect you to understand and I don’t even expect your support but don’t try to talk me out of it. My mind's made up. My heart is made up. Please don’t think this is something I came to easily or quickly or that I still don’t struggle with.”

Poe put his arm around Rey, “I imagine you need some rest?” She nodded. “Then we will let you get some. We can talk more later. Let’s go, Finn.” He gave Rey a squeeze as he stood up.

Finn hugged Rey and also stood up, “If you need anything, call us. We’ll be right there.”

She just nodded and reached for his hand and held it for a moment before he and Poe walked out. She stood up from the couch and went to the corner where she threw Kylo Ren’s helmet and collected it, taking it back to the couch with her. She sat it next to her on the sofa, expecting tears to arrive, but they didn’t. She only felt anger. Hot anger, creeping up the back of her neck and into her ears. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Ben should be with her, in this room, right now. Not in a cell somewhere, in shackles. This isn’t what she agreed to, not what she wanted, not what he wanted. _Ben, I’m so sorry...I will fix this, she vowed._

 

* * *

  
General Leia Organa entered the cell of Kylo Ren. She placed a tray of rations on the table that was bolted to the floor, and sat on the chair that was also secured to the floor. Kylo Ren sat on the cot attached to the wall and did not acknowledge her presence in the room. He seemed to be meditating. “Ben,” she said.

“You no longer have the right to call me that, General. Aside from the fact that Ben Solo is dead.”

“You seem to let Rey call you that.”

His head snapped up, “Whatever is between Rey and myself is _none_ of your concern, General,” his eyes flashed angrily.

“I didn’t know if you would be hungry or not and not sure of what you would want, so I brought a bit of everything from the cafeteria,” she said, trying to break the tension.

“Of course you have no idea what I want. You never did.”

Leia blew out a long breath. This was going to be drawn out and painful. She knew that beforehand and had prepared herself, but can you ever truly prepare yourself for something like this? Facing your son after fifteen years of war, resentment, hate and murder? “So Snoke is dead?”

“Yes. I killed him. Finally,” Kylo said slowly.

“Why? After all this time.”

“Because it was time. I should have done it long ago, long before,” Kylo stopped, his words hanging in the air.

“Go on, son,” Leia said.

Kylo looked up at her, “Long before he gave me the order to kill Han Solo.” Kylo’s voice cracked slightly as he said his father’s name. “It should have been done long before that but I didn’t do it. I was weak.”

Leia felt the urge to go to her son but resisted, “What’s done is done. It cannot be changed. If Snoke is dead, who is now the Supreme Leader?”

“I am.”

“But you’re here?” Leia asked.

Kylo shrugged. “I imagine things will be a bit chaotic in a few days.” It wasn’t a complete lie.

“Why did you release Rey?”

Kylo narrowed his eyes at her, “Why wouldn’t I? I never considered her my prisoner. That was Snoke’s doing. Not mine. She was my guest. I always treated her as such.”

“Didn’t you question her?”

“No, not once.”

“Weren’t you under some sort of orders from Snoke?” she asked.

“Of course I was. I ignored them.”

Leia stood up, angry, “You could ignore orders about Rey, but you couldn’t ignore the orders to kill your father?”

“I told you, General, I was weak. Have you any idea what it took for me to admit that, especially to you?” he stood up, his height towering over the diminutive General Organa. “The longer Rey was there, the stronger I grew in my ability to defy Snoke. Do you have _any idea_ how much sooner I wish I would have met her?” A single tear made its way down Kylo’s cheek.

“Why didn’t you just come back home, Ben?”

“After all I had done? You make it sound so simple,” he reached up with both shackled hands to wipe his cheek.

“You could have come back. We could have worked things out,” she wanted so badly to reach out to her son, to touch him, but she couldn’t.

“What? And bring the First Order fully down upon the Resistance? Do you think I could have just fled from Snoke with no retaliation? I couldn't do that to you, to Da... to Han Solo. After the public fallout from the revelation of who your father was and my reaction to it?” More tears slid down his cheeks.

Leia started to raise a hand to wipe Kylo’s cheek but stopped and sat back down in her chair, “Did Rey tell you anything at all?”

“About the Resistance? No. Nor did I ask. I wasn’t interested in this...operation.”

“Or Luke?”

“No, nothing regarding Luke Skywalker, either and again, I did not ask,” Kylo said. “The only person that had the audacity to ask her died because of it.” Kylo seated himself again on the cot and wiped his face with the pillowcase.

Leia leaned forward in her chair and her eyes grew wide, “Rey killed someone while she was there?”

Kylo smiled, “More than someone. She killed Hux and two of his lackeys. Snoke gave him the order to question and torture her. She did not take kindly to it.”

“Well, it was self defense, right? She had to, I’m sure of it. She wouldn’t kill unless she had to,” Leia looked to Kylo for explanation.

He only gave her an evil smile, “If that is what you want to believe, that is fine.”

“Ben, what did you do to her?” Leia asked.

“General, I did nothing to her. I talked with her, I made her dinner, I trained with her,” he paused. “I made love to her, but I _did_ nothing. I killed Snoke _for_ her, I came here _for_ her, but I have _done_ nothing.”

“You dance around responsibility just like your father,” she shook her head. “And you tell me too much.”

“Rey made her own choices. You should be grateful she decided to return. Someone with her power and abilities is an invaluable asset.”

“What about her value as a friend?”

Kylo looked down and spoke softly, “She means much more to me than that and I’ll not discuss it with you or anyone else. Rey is well aware of her worth to me. It is why I am here. She had hoped we would remain together. I told her it was...unlikely but,” he stopped. “All that needs to be said is that I would give my life for her. Without question or hesitation.”

“Is the First Order aware of the location of this base?” Leia returned to her line of questioning.

“No. No more than Rey is aware of the location of the First Order base. We made an agreement to not exchange that information. We don’t want either of us to be accused of being traitors. Though I am sure we both are in some fashion, somehow if a case were to be made. Myself more so than her.”

“Where is the next strike for the First Order?”

“I’m not sure. With my orders surrounding Rey, I had not dealt with any military operations since her arrival at the base. My days...and nights...were consumed with her.”

“How were you able to convince Snoke you were following orders when you clearly were not?” Leia asked.

Kylo shrugged, “I convinced him I was getting close to her, gaining her trust, wooing her to the Dark Side, to the First Order cause. From there we would get the information we needed and gain her as an ally.”

“Was there any truth to that, Ben?”

He smiled, “Of course. Do you really think I wanted to come back here? I knew this is where I would end up.”

“Then why did you kill Snoke?”

“Because I knew even if she turned to the Dark Side, she would never reveal the location of the Resistance base because of her emotional ties to her friends and to you. If I did not get the location of the base and Luke Skywalker from her, my orders were to kill her. I knew I would not get that information from her so I had to kill him. He had already tried to have Hux gain the information and that certainly did not go as planned. The only way for Rey to live was for Snoke to die.”

“Did you think she would stay with you after that?”

“Even a man as dark as I is allowed to hope, is he not?” Kylo sighed. “Rey made it very clear she would not stay with the First Order. And here we are.” He pushed his hair back from his eyes. “What are you hoping to hear me say, General? I am not the prodigal son that’s happy to have returned home and wants to make everything all better.”

“No, nor did I expect you to be. I didn’t expect you to be in love with Rey, either. I honestly didn’t think you had that capability left in you. Not after….” Leia couldn’t bring herself to say the words. “At some point there will be an official debriefing, but, Ben, I want to come back later, no, tomorrow. To talk. Not as General Organa, but as your mother.” Kylo simply shrugged in response. “I’ll see you then.” She exited the detention cell and the door swiftly shut behind her.

Leia headed from the detention area to the staff quarters. She figured she might as well get the confrontation with Rey out of the way, as well. It certainly wasn’t something she was looking forward to. She knew she hadn’t been completely forward with Rey about the terms of her return with Ben, but then again, she didn’t understand how Rey would think he wouldn’t have to answer for his crimes. She asked for immunity from execution so she realized he was liable for something so why was she so upset that he was detained? Leia wondered if Ben had requested the immunity from execution and Rey went along with it. Perhaps that would explain her confusion.

Leia arrived at Rey’s quarters and pressed the comm button on the wall.  

“Who is it?” Rey’s voice asked.

“Rey, it’s General Organa.”

There was a long silence. “I don’t want to see you right now, General.”

“Rey, please. I need to explain.”

Another long silence but the door opened this time. No lights lit her quarters, only natural lighting illuminated the room. Rey was sitting on the couch in her quarters, cradling Kylo Ren’s helmet. Leia entered, but only enough so the door would slide shut behind her. “Rey,” she began.

“Why?” Rey interrupted.

“Rey,” Leia said softly. “I had to. Not only for the safety of others, but for his own safety. I told you I would keep him safe.”

“You didn’t tell me you would arrest him!”

“He’s a war criminal, Rey! He’s done terrible things, you know this. You’re a witness to the murder of Han! You’ll be called to testify.”

“I won’t do it!” Rey stood up to face General Organa. “I promised Ben that we wouldn’t be separated and I’m not even here an hour and that promise is broken.  All I have left of him is the thing I hate the most, that thing he _never_ wore around me.”

“Rey, I had no idea what had developed between you two. How could I? And it wouldn’t make a difference. I have to do what is right. Do you think this is easy for me? He is my son. I have been waiting fifteen years for my son to come back. I have to put duty before anything else even when I do not want to.”

“And that’s the problem, General! You’ve always put duty before everything else and that’s why we’re exactly where we are!”

Leia clearly looked pained from Rey’s comment, “Always remember, Rey, you’re only getting one side of the story. One day I will sit you down and give you mine. You are young and foolish…”

“Young I might be, but I am far from foolish,” Rey interrupted. “I could have stayed with the First Order. I killed their military leader, I have control of their figurehead who I am more powerful than, yet I chose to come back here and you dare to call me foolish?”

Leia looked at her sharply, “Rey, listen to yourself. Those are the words of the Dark Side.” Leia hadn’t felt anger and fear like this since…

“No, General, you are hearing what you want to hear. I speak the truth. Ben should be here. With me. You lied to me!”

“Rey, I did not lie to you! I granted the immunity you requested and Ben is safe. Do you realize how many people on this base would like to see him dead? Finn is included in that number! And can you blame them? He’s responsible for the death of billions!”

“NO! No, he is not! He was completely against the destruction of the Hosnian system. He wasn’t even on Starkiller Base at the time the weapon was fired. You of all people should understand that!”

“It doesn’t matter, Rey. He’s still guilty because he’s a member of the First Order command. Beyond that, there’s still the murders of Lor San Tekka and Han, not to mention the order of killing the villagers and how many other countless similar orders?”

“Did you come here for anything besides reminding me of how horrible your son is?” Rey asked tartly.

“I wanted to ask about some things ,” Leia replied.

Rey sighed, “Go ahead.”

“Did Ben request immunity?”

“No, I did. Why does it matter anyhow?” Rey asked.

“I thought you might be confused about the arrest versus immunity if Ben requested it. I see now. How were you treated while a prisoner of the First Order?”

“When I was with Ben, I never felt like a prisoner. He treated me like a guest. It was rather surreal. I knew I couldn’t leave, I knew full well I was a prisoner. He never treated me as such.”

“He never interrogated you, questioned you, anything?” asked Leia.

“No,” Rey replied. “Only General Hux tried that. It ended poorly for him.”

“So Ben told me. You killed General Hux?”

“Yes, I felt my life was threatened,” Rey felt that keeping her answers neat and tidy was the best approach on this subject.

“And two of his men?” Leia continued.

“Yes.”

“Do you have anything more to say on the matter?”

“I don’t think any more needs to be said on the matter. I don’t know what Ben told you, but they were interrogating me. Hux decided to use torture methods that he said could end my life. As you know, I’m stronger in the Force than I truly realized and I was able to break my bonds via the Force and I killed Hux and his men before they could kill me. That’s all that really needs to be said unless a formal investigation is going to be opened on the matter.” Rey crossed her arms, indicating she was done speaking about it.

“Did you ever figure out the location of the First Order base?”

Rey shook her head, “No. Nor does Ben know the location of this base. Neither of us can attack the other. It was term we agreed up with his coming here.”

“Didn’t you find it odd that Ben never questioned you about Luke Skywalker, the Resistance or really anything?” Leia asked.

“At first, yes, I did find it odd, but then it seemed like he was trying a different tactic.”

Leia raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”

“I do believe he was trying to seduce me to the Dark Side.”

“Oh. I see,” Leia said. “Seeing as you’re here, he wasn’t successful….”

“No, but it was tempting. The lure of the Dark Side is tantalizing.” Rey could tell the General was getting uncomfortable and she was starting to like it, especially since she was still angry about Ben being detained.

“So, next….”

“I want to see him,” Rey cut Leia short.

“Rey, you just got here and he just got into a detention cell…”

“Please.”

“Alright, but after this there will be regular visitation hours, just like the other prisoners, same rules and regulations. Nothing special. I can’t have people talking just because he’s my son and you have some….thing going on, even if you did bring him back.”

“Fine,” Rey nodded. Anything. Almost anything to see him, to touch him….to apologize.

“Follow me,” as Leia turned, the door opened. Rey rose from her seat and followed Leia out of her quarters back to the detention area where Kylo was being held. Leia nodded to the guard at the front desk as she keyed in the entry code for the door. He said nothing as she entered with Rey. They passed by a few cells before coming to the door that housed Kylo. The two guards at his door stepped aside as Leia approached, keying in another code to enter. She motioned for Rey to enter ahead of her, following her inside.

Kylo’s back was to the door as he sat on the floor with his legs crossed, meditating. His head tilted as he heard the door closed. “I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow, General,” he said.

“Ben,” Rey said.

He quickly stood up and turned around, “Rey.”

She crossed the room and took his shackled hands into hers as if she could hardly believe what she was looking at, “Ben, I am so sorry.”

He awkwardly put his arms around her, “It’s alright. We’ll figure something out. I told you.”

She threw her arms around his waist, “I’m so sorry, you were right.” She started to cry into his chest.

He held her as tightly as he could and kissed the top of her head, “It’s alright,” he repeated, lying his cheek against her head.

Leia stood back, watching in almost disbelief at the tender display from her son. While there still might be Light in him, a Dark energy surrounded them, disturbing Leia to her core. Rey had been with the First Order too long, alone with him for too long. Rey was at a dangerous point in her journey in the Force. Leia only hoped she knew enough to help guide her in the right direction. They reminded her of herself and Han when they were young and that partially frightened her; she would have done anything to free Han from imprisonment and she had. She was going to have to convince Rey to trust in her again and to listen to her friends. Leia tried to organize her thoughts as she watched her son and Rey whisper to each other and exchange small, soft kisses. “Rey, we have to go.”

Rey shot Leia a withering glance, but didn’t argue, “Fine.” She turned her attention back to Kylo, who still held her in his arms. “I’ll be back.”

He smirked, “I know.”

Rey shook her head, “I won’t be able to sleep without you.”

“I’ll be with you. Just reach out. I’ll be there,” he kissed her forehead.

“I love you, Ben.”

“And I love you, Rey,” he kissed her on her lips this time, still gentle. “Go, so you can come back to me.” He raised his arms up over her and she reluctantly moved away from him.

“I can’t do this, Ben.”

“You have to.”

She wiped tears from her eyes and nodded.

“Rey,” Leia said.

Rey lowered her head and walked over to Leia as she was keying the code to exit. She looked up at Ben before leaving the cell, tears overflowing. He said nothing, just nodded. She followed Leia out before she broke down sobbing.

As they made their way down the hallway, a roar came from Ben’s cell. A feral, furious sound that echoed off the walls and traveled down the length of the hallway. They heard the bolts holding down the furniture in his room shatter. The bed slammed to the floor with a resounding thud from it’s mount on the wall. Mandalorian shackles could only control so much of the Force, and could do nothing about a Force wielder’s voice.

Leia looked back towards Ben’s cell, mildly worried, his temper being nothing new to her, though it had been many, many years. Rey simply shrugged her shoulders, surprised it had held for that long and more damage  
hadn’t been incurred already.

“Looks like I’ll be calling maintenance,” Leia said. “Rey?”

“Yes?”

“I just ask that you let things settle down for a bit. Don’t do anything….rash. Let things play out.” Rey nodded, feeling more and more numb as she followed Leia back to her own quarters. “This might not turn out as badly as you might think, but you have to give it time. If Ben is cooperative, he might not sit in detention for years. There might be a place for him in the Resistance. It’s hard to say.”

Rey didn’t say anything as they continued their progress back to her quarters. While she still felt that Ben had Light in him, she didn’t feel like there was a place for him in the Resistance. She wasn’t feeling very optimistic about much currently so perhaps it wasn’t the best time to even think about the possibilities. As they reached her door, she turned to Leia and said, “Thank you for letting me see him.”

“You’re welcome, Rey. I know this day hasn’t turned out like you would have hoped. I’m sorry.”

Rey only nodded and let herself into her quarters, letting the door shut behind her. She trudged over to her couch and flopped down on it, letting her hand trail over his helmet. It was hard and cold, echoing how she felt. She decided to take a nap and then afterwards she would go to Kylo’s ship and collect a few things from it to bring back to her quarters, including some of his. She hoped that would make her feel better and maybe a little less distant from him. She curled up into a dreamless sleep, the type that can soothe the weary and heartbroken, as she was both.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shout out to my beta @cosette-giry for helping me out! Thanks to everyone for their comments and kudos, I really appreciate it. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it!

Rey awoke with a start. She looked around, not knowing where she was at first. Her heart slowed down as she realized she was in her quarters at the Resistance base. The events of the day came back to her one by one as the fog of sleep cleared from her mind. He shoulder sagged as she reached across the bed and felt no one. She was so exhausted she had forgotten to set her alarm for Kylo’s evening visitation. Luckily, she hadn’t missed it. She even woke up in time for dinner, though she was in no mood for it. Part of her wanted to have dinner with Finn and Poe and another didn’t want to deal with any questions they might have. She hadn’t considered that there would be any negatives in coming back to her friends. She just wanted to get away from the First Order. She didn’t want to stay where she was a prisoner, where every face was an enemy. Now that she was back, all the faces didn’t seem so friendly now. People looked at her strangely, differently. It had only been a day, but she knew the looks on their faces. Word had quickly spread that she killed Hux and his men. They feared her.

Rumors were quickly spreading that she had gone to the Dark Side. She wouldn’t have returned if that were true. She left the First Order base to prevent that from happening. Granted, nothing was turning out as she had hoped, but surely, there was something to be said for her return. Not only did she return, she brought Kylo Ren with her. She brought back General Organa’s son! Not one person saw this as a kind act or something decent. Nothing but hatred and suspicion. She wondered if people understood people in the First Order looked at General Organa the same way they looked at Kylo Ren. War was a matter of perspective. She had learned much from her study of Darth Vader, she decided. Many things were a matter of perspective. The definition of evil depended on what side you were on.

She sighed and gathered herself up from the bed. She decided to contact Finn and Poe for dinner. Being with her friends, despite her reservations, was the whole purpose in returning. Secluding herself in her quarters wasn’t going to help get over any issues between them. She went to the refresher to straighten up, then left to go find them.

* * *

 

“Alright, let’s clear the invisible bantha from the room,” Rey said after thoughtfully chewing her food.

“Okay,” Finn replied. “What do you mean?”

“Ask me any question you want about Kylo Ren. About what happened. Let’s just get this out of the way,” she sat her fork down. “I want things to get back to normal with us. I’ve missed you guys so much.”

“Agreed,” Finn said.

“Anything?” Poe asked.

“Anything,” Rey agreed.

“How big is it?” Poe gave her a devilish grin. Finn almost choked on his drink as he started to laugh uncontrollably.

Rey turned five shades of crimson as she covered her mouth with her hand. “Poe Dameron!”

He tipped his glass to her. “You said anything.” He took a drink. “Now, the question the whole galaxy is asking. Is the guy compensating for something or not?”  Finn couldn’t stop laughing and was almost falling out of his chair at this point.

Rey was so flustered she could barely answer. “Compensating for what? He’s just comp-- complicated!” This was not what she had in mind.

Poe was enjoying this entirely too much. “So tell us Rey, is he hung like a womp rat or a bantha?” He couldn’t even keep a straight face with that question, joining Finn in his laughter.

“By the Maker, Poe Dameron, I give you permission to ask me anything, I open my soul to you and you ask me about Kylo Ren’s dick,” Rey herself started to laugh.

He winked at her. “You wanted things back to normal.” They all laughed until their stomachs hurt and tears were rolling out of their eyes. Rey looked at her friends and warmth filled her heart. This was what she had missed and this was why she had come back. Her thoughts trailed to Ben, alone in his cell and she wished he could be there with them. She thought there was a chance he could like Finn and Poe if he could break down his barriers.

They fell silent as General Organa approached the table with a serious look on her face. “Rey, I need to talk to you in private.”

Rey wiped her mouth with her napkin, “Yes, General.” She rose from the table and followed the General out of the cafeteria back to her office.

“Have a seat,” General Organa motioned to a chair in front of her desk as she sat behind. Rey sat down, not saying anything. “When you contacted me about you and Ben returning, a committee was formed. This committee was given the task of debriefing you about your stay with the First Order and your time spent as prisoner of Kylo Ren. It is comprised of officers and a psychologist, all experts in the field of prisoners of war. I am also on this committee, more in an advisory role than anything else, given my experiences in previous wartime affairs. Following your debriefing, which could take a day to multiple days, decisions regarding you, your medical care, mental and physical and your role with the Resistance would be determined. A plan going forward from there would be developed to deal with any trauma you’re experiencing and help you ease back into a productive role with us, helping both you and the Resistance achieve the best possible results from your return to us. Does that make sense?” Rey only nodded in reply, not knowing what else would be appropriate to reply with. “Given the revelation that a--relationship developed between you and your captor--” She paused. “Ben, that has changed the scope of the committee. It has also changed the scope of my position with the committee. They are concerned about your mental state, Rey. It’s not normal to develop a relationship with the person holding you captive. There is a syndrome named for it, but it’s considered an illness…”

“ _What?_ ” Rey interrupted. “I am not crazy for being in love with Ben!”

“Rey, that’s not what I’m saying and that’s not what I think. I understand how you might have developed feelings for him after being with him over such a long period of time and I sympathize because he is my son. That is why I’m now no longer in an advisory role or a decision making part of the committee. We feel that I am too close to the situation to make an impartial decision regarding the relationship between you and Ben. I am now abstaining from anything regarding that situation. However, it is of great concern to the committee. That being said, some preliminary decisions regarding your situation have been made.”

“I don’t like the sound of this,” Rey said.

“I don’t expect you to,” General Organa replied. “These decisions have been made for your own health and safety, along with the safety of those on this base. First and foremost, you are not to have any contact with the prisoner known as Ben Solo also known as Kylo Ren.”

Rey stood up. “ _WHAT? NO!”_

“Second,” General Organa pushed a datapad to the edge of her desk. “This is your schedule. Your psychologist has designed it for you. You will follow it to the letter. Along with following it, you will be accompanied by an armed guard throughout the base. When you are not somewhere that is designated on your schedule, you are sequestered to your quarters where an armed guard will be posted outside of your door.”

“This psychologist hasn’t even spoken to me yet!” Rey was shaking. “And you have to let me see Ben! You promised!”

“Rey, there is nothing I can do at this point. The decision has been taken out of my hands.” General Organa felt the room start to shake, the items on her desk moving sideways. “Rey! You have to get a hold of yourself!”

“Armed guards? I can’t even see my friends?” Rey’s hands were balled into fists at her sides. “Please, tell me why I came back here?” The room continued to vibrate, the intensity growing with Rey’s anger.

“Rey! Please calm down! I don’t want to have you restrained like Ben is!” General Organa pleaded with Rey.

Rey’s hands relaxed as the room stopped shaking. “This is outrageous. This committee hasn’t even spoken with me yet.”

“I’m sorry, Rey. This is for your safety and everyone here. These are only temporary restrictions. Once you’re evaluated, your schedule and restrictions can change.”

“And seeing Ben?” Rey crossed her arms.

The General looked down at her desk. “That is not going to change. That has been deemed too dangerous.”

Rey put her hands on the desk and leaned forward. “Has anyone considered that it may be more dangerous to keep me from seeing him?”

General Organa looked up from her desk and looked Rey in the eye. “Threats will not intimidate me, Rey, nor will they bring me to your cause. I have stared down far worse than you.”

“We shall see,” Rey replied.

“Rey, please. Think before you act. That’s all I ask. Take time to calm down and think rationally. Maybe things can be changed in the future. I simply can not promise you anything at this time.”

“I know. I know exactly what your promises get me,” Rey looked at General Organa through narrowed eyes. “Am I allowed to have visitors at my quarters?”

“With approval, yes, when you have free time in your schedule.”

Rey nodded once in reply. “So why not just put me in a detention cell like Ben?”

“You’re not a prisoner here, Rey.”

“I certainly feel like one, with an armed guard and a rigorous schedule.”

“It was also decided that having you that close to Ben was too dangerous. While you’re not a prisoner, we do want to keep you under a watchful eye.” General Organa never broke eye contact with Rey. “I may sympathize with you, but I don’t disagree that your behavior could be erratic.”

“I haven’t even had a chance to be stable or erratic. It hasn’t even been a full day. This is ridiculous.” Rey crossed her arms. “Is there anything else? I’d like to go back to my quarters if we’re done.”

“We’re finished. There’s already a guard waiting for you outside of my door to escort you to your quarters. Someone from the armory will be by to collect your lightsaber and blaster. Please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be, Rey. Don’t forget your schedule.”

Rey didn’t say anything as she turned on her heel to leave the General’s office, tucking the datapad under her arm. She remained silent as she glared at the guard waiting for her outside of the General’s office. Rey didn’t speak to the guard as she escorted her to her quarters and took her post outside of her door. Rey entered her quarters and stood inside of the door for a moment, her anger boiling. She took the datapad and hurled it across the room, much like she had with Ben’s helmet. She sat down on the couch and reached out to him.

_Ben..._ The connection was almost immediate.

_I’m here, Rey._

_I can’t see you anymore._

_I know. General Organa told me before going to tell you. I’m in a different cell now,_ he said.

_Why?_

_My reaction wasn’t...calm._

_Did she also tell you I’m being treated like a prisoner now? Rey asked._

_She told me about the committee and their decisions, he replied._

_I won’t stand for it._

_We’re going to have to play their games for a while, Rey._

Her mind remained silent for a moment. _No, we don’t._

_Rey…_

She shut off the connection. She felt him trying to reach her again but she ignored him. Her anger was growing by the moment and she certainly wasn’t going to play any games set forth by the Resistance and their asinine committees. She had gone from being a prisoner of the First Order to being a prisoner of the Resistance. At least, with the First Order, she didn’t have to sleep alone. Was it so crazy that she fell in love with her captor? They didn’t understand the situation, let alone the man that was Kylo Ren _and_ Ben Solo. They weren’t typical enemies. They had shared a bond from the beginning, even if she had tried to deny it. Maybe she fell too hard, too fast but no one had ever looked or spoken to her like that. No one had ever wanted her that way and she had never wanted anyone or anything more in her life. She wasn’t going to let anyone keep her from that. She realized that nothing meant more to her than Kylo Ren….Ben Solo. The name didn’t matter. Only the man did.

She felt a familiar gathering in the Force as Revan appeared before her. “My child,” he said softly.

“Revan.”

“Your anger is going to lead you down a difficult path if you are not able to temper it.”

“The easiest path is rarely the most fulfilling.” She replied.

“I think you will find yourself in a place you were trying to avoid. You’re heading in the direction you least wanted to.”

“Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I’ve had it all wrong from the start,” she sighed. “All I know is that _this_ isn’t going to work.”

“You said yourself it hasn’t been a full day. Show them they’re wrong, my child. You wanted to bring Kylo Ren back to the Light and you have done that. You are to be commended for your efforts.”

“Then why am I not being commended?” she demanded. “I’m being treated like a prisoner, like I’m crazy! I’m going to go crazy if I can’t see Ben!”

“Things aren’t going as you imagined. Frequently that happens. You must adapt and figure out how to deal with your situation, my child. Reacting from your anger will not solve the problem.”

“Oh, it will. I will solve the problem,” she stepped over to her dresser where her lightsaber and blaster were laying. She grabbed them, clipping them to her belt. “I’m going to solve the problem right now.”

“Rey, wait!” She ignored the apparition as she stepped through Revan, exiting her quarters.

“Halt! You are not permitted to lea….” Rey cut off the guard with a Force choke, raising her from her feet against the wall. When she was unconscious, she flung her to the side and started to run to the armory. No one paid her much attention until a pair of guards saw her and gave chase. She turned the corner to the last hallway to the armory, coming to the desk of the guard.

“Kylo Ren’s lightsaber, you will give it to me now,” she said as calmly as she could, looking over her shoulder.

“What? You’re not supposed to be here,” the guard reached for something on the panel in front of him.

Rey unclipped her lightsaber and ignited it, pointing it at the guard. “Kylo Ren’s lightsaber, you will give it to me now.” She hoped the mind trick combined with some aggressive negotiation would get her what she wanted.

The guard’s eyes grew wide. “Okay, hold on, I’ll….I’ll get it.” He scurried off behind a heavy door, while the two guards that were chasing her appeared.

Rey turned to face them as they pointed their blasters at her. “Halt! We have orders to take you into custody.”

“Not happening,” Rey said.

“We’re not going to hurt you, Rey.”

“I can’t say the same for you,” she said as she advanced on them. As she did so they fired and she deflected the blaster bolts with her lightsaber. She attacked the guard on the left first, slicing through his wrist holding his blaster and then running him through and kicking him to the ground. The other guard looked horrified as Rey turned to him.

He clicked the comm on his collar, “We’re going to need reinforcements.” He ran down a hallway the opposite way from Rey.

The armory guard returned with a large blaster rifle, rather than Kylo Ren’s lightsaber, hoping to catch Rey off guard but instead found himself in a Force choke. “I told you. _Kylo Ren’s lightsaber,_ ” she seethed. The guard only gurgled a response as she held him in the choke. She released him and he fell to the ground, struggling to breathe. “ _GO!_ ” she shouted. He scrambled off the floor and through the door, quickly returning with Kylo’s lightsaber. Rey grabbed it from him and took off, heading for the detention area. She clipped it to her belt as she ran, keeping hers ignited as she was sure the guards would be on full alert at this point. Alarms were going off throughout the base. She looked back and as she did so, she ran into Finn, who grabbed her by her shoulders.

“Rey! What is going on?”

“Finn! I don’t have time to explain! I have to get out of here! I’m sorry!” she tried to wrestle away from him before guards found them.

“Why didn’t you come back to dinner? We wondered what happened to you.” Finn held her tight in place.

“Finn, please! I have to go!” She finally freed herself from him, but then hugged him. “I’m sorry. I’ll miss you, my friend.” She took off again as guards entered the hallway, leaving Finn dumbfounded.

As they reached him, they fired at Rey, causing him to shout out. “Wait! What are you doing?!”

“Our blasters are set to stun, sir, but we have orders to take Rey into custody. She violated orders to remain sequestered to her quarters.”

“I have to talk to General Organa,” Finn went off towards the General’s office while the guards went in Rey’s direction.

Rey made her way to the detention area, approaching the desk of the guard. She pointed her lightsaber at his throat. “Take me to Kylo Ren.” She wasn’t even going to bother with mind tricks. “Now.”

He put his hands up, standing up. “Alright.” As he came from around the desk, Rey used the Force to take his blaster from his belt, then flung it across the room. She glanced over her shoulder, looking for the other guards that were chasing her. The detention guard keyed in the code to the cell block, opening the door. Rey followed him in, the door shutting securely behind them. She kept her lightsaber pointed at the back of his neck as he led her to Kylo’s cell, which was also guarded by two more guards.

She put her arm around the neck of the guard leading her with her lightsaber to his neck. “Drop your weapons or I kill him.” The guards looked to each other, then to the guard she held in her arm. Rey raised her arm holding her lightsaber, putting both guards into a Force choke. “I said, drop your weapons.” She held both in the air until the dropped their weapons, then dropped them into heaps on the floor, not caring if they were alive or dead. “Open his cell,” she said as she pushed the desk guard towards the keypad. He miskeyed the code a few times, but finally the door opened.

Rey rushed in as Kylo stood up from his bed, shocked to see her. “Rey, what are you doing here? You broke off our connection and….”

She took her lightsaber and severed his cuffs. She handed him his lightsaber. “We’re leaving.”

“Are you sure about this?”

“It’s too late. We have to go,” she walked out of the cell and he followed, seeing the two bodies lying on the floor.

“I see,” he said. He grabbed her around her waist and pulled her close, kissing her. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Let’s get out of here,” she said. She pointed her lightsaber at the guard. “Open that door.”

“You know they’re going to be waiting for you out there,” he said.

“Then I suggest you get out of the way after you open that door,” Kylo told him. “If you want to live.” He ignited his lightsaber as the guard keyed in the code to let them out. “Are you ready?” He looked at Rey. She nodded in reply. “If we both Force push, we can knock them back and then advance, making our run.” The door opened and they both used the Force, knocking back the guards waiting for them into those behind them, almost giving them an opening to run, but there were too many. They would have to fight their way through. Kylo was a machine, making his way through guards easily as their training was no match for his as he cut down guard after guard, two to Rey’s one. They made their way through the first group then made their run for the hangar. As they made their way there, they were cut off by Finn and Poe.

“Rey! I can’t let you do this!” Finn stopped her.

“Finn! I don’t have time for this! I have to go! I can’t stay here!”

“Rey, please don’t do this,” Poe pleaded. He looked to Kylo. “Don’t let her do this.”

“I’m doing what she wants to do, Dameron, no more, no less,” Kylo replied.

“Your place is here, with us!” Finn begged.

“No, it’s not, Finn! My place is with Ben and that place isn’t here,” she pushed him aside. “I already told you I’m sorry. We have to leave.”

“Rey, no,” Poe said.

“It’s too late, Poe! I have to leave! I can’t stay now! Come on, Ben. Let’s go!” she grabbed his hand and began running again as more guards entered the hallway. They sprinted towards the hangar as blaster fire began to fill the hallway. Rey unclipped her blaster and fired back, not hitting much as her aim was poor while running. They finally reached the hangar. Kylo’s shuttle was to the far right side, the dark and sleek form almost awkward next to the Resistance craft. They turned to face their pursuers, wanting to cut down on blaster fire in the hangar so they could depart safely. They cut through the squad of guards quickly, as Finn and Poe watched in disbelief. “Ben, go to the ship and enter the coordinates for the First Order base. I’ll keep everything clear down here!” He didn’t say anything as he headed for his ship, disappearing up the gangway.

“Rey, you can’t go back to the First Order!” Finn said.

“I’m sorry, Finn. I have to. I don’t belong here. I thought I did, but I don’t. I can’t be locked up again. At least with Ben I wasn’t locked up alone.”

“What are you talking about? Locked up?” Finn looked completely confused since he had no idea about the new orders regarding Rey.

“Ask General Organa,” Rey said, with distaste. “I didn’t leave the First Order to be a prisoner here. They think I’m crazy, Finn.” She glanced over his shoulder at more guards coming in led by General Organa herself and another woman. “And there she is.”

“Rey, you don’t have to do this,” General Organa said. “We can still work something out.”

“No! You lied to me. All of this has been nothing but lies. I was Ben’s prisoner, but he never lied to me. Not once. Even when my life was in danger he was honest about it. But this? This has been nothing but lie after lie!”

“Rey, I’m Azura Rhasa, the base psychologist. We’re worried because it’s not normal for a prisoner to fall in love with their captor….”

“Here’s the problem with your _theory_ , doctor,” Rey interrupted. “I had feelings for him _before_ he was my captor. We have a complex relationship that most _non_ -Force sensitive beings couldn’t understand.”

Kylo appeared on the gangway of the ship, “We’re ready, Rey!”

“Will you kill us, General?” Rey’s eyes flashed angrily.

General Organa shook her head. “I will catch hell for letting you escape but no, I will not kill you. I’m sorry, Rey.”

Rey turned to run to the ship, but Finn called out to her, “Rey! Don’t leave!” She turned back to look at him, but didn’t say anything. “Don’t go back to the First Order, Rey! Anything but that!”

“I’m sorry, Finn.”

“Rey, don’t do this,” Poe said.

“Poe, I have to go,” Rey ran towards the ship, looking over her shoulder, partly at her former friends and partly to see if she was going to be shot. She joined Kylo on the gangway and looked back one last time before bringing the gangway up.

They both rushed to the cockpit, Kylo taking the pilot’s seat before she could. “I’m flying home,” he said. She nodded in response, taking the co-pilot’s chair. He maneuvered out of the hangar and headed into the atmosphere.

On the ground, General Organa watched them leave. “We have made a grave mistake,” she said.

  
  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh God, here we go. Finally an update. I'm so sorry it's been so long. Thank you so much for sticking with this. I never meant for this to drag out so long. I never thought I'd get hit with such a nasty depression that would sap my creativity. I've done other short pieces but man, this depression has really just kicked my ass on this one. It's been a year since I started this. I never, ever thought it would be a project this long but here we are.
> 
> No beta on this chapter. Whee. I'm just making stuff up about Phindar and Mandalore regarding their political affiliations at this point. There's nothing canon that I can find so here in post TFA they're neutral. Mostly. Mandalore anyhow. Not much about Mandalore in this chapter so don't get too excited, just a mention. 
> 
> Any mistakes I apologize for. I've been staring at this thing for awhile. Hopefully it doesn't jump around too much. Trying to set up some things. Trying to get close to an ending for this beast. But at least I got another chapter in. Hope you enjoy!

“Rey, we have to attack  _ now! _ ” Kylo Ren paced around the table in the middle of the command center. 

“They’ve probably already evacuated the base!” Rey protested. “They know we’re coming!”

“Rey, we are in a war.  You decided to come back to the First Order. You are part of the First Order now. There is no in between. The Resistance is not your home. They are not your friends. I can’t believe I’m even saying this. That was clearly demonstrated to you,” Kylo paused. “There is no going back.”

“I know! I know,” Rey sighed. “But do you have to be so hell bent on aggression? Can’t we try to make peace?”

“Do you think they have any interest in making peace with us? Did they try to make peace with us when we returned?” Kylo ran his hand through his hair. “Do you think they have any intent of making peace with us now?”

“I, I don’t know. We don’t know…” Rey’s voice trailed off.

“Rey, I’m not even sure how many people we killed getting out of there. You’re now a wanted war criminal like I am. It’s time to face that. We are not in any position for peace talks right now. Not after what we’ve just done. The only reason we escaped is because my mother couldn’t kill her son. The only reason you’re alive is because you were with me. She’s probably going to lose her position over it. She’ll have no credibility left.”

Given the situation, Rey didn’t know how to feel about it. She was still angry about how things played out, but she never meant for things to happen the way they did, either.

“I feel your confusion, your regret. Let it go. You were tricked. You were lied to. You were wronged. Hold on to that, Rey. Hold on to your anger.”

“I’m not of the Dark Side, Ben.”

“And I don’t think there’s any Ben left in me, Rey, not now. Not after all of this. And if you’re not of the Dark Side, exactly what caused that escape on the Resistance base?” Rey didn’t know how to respond. He walked over to her and put his hands on her shoulders. “You’re not of the Light, either.”

She let out a long breath. “Send a small squad to do reconnaissance to see if the Resistance is still there. If they’re smart, they’ve pulled the base and relocated. If not, then we attack.”

He ran his thumb along her cheek. “Beautiful.”

* * *

Kylo had yet to decide on where exactly he would headquarter himself as Supreme Leader so he was temporarily using General Hux’s old office until he decided. He wanted to be more hands on than Snoke but understood the air of mystery that he needed to portray as a Force user to his subordinates. He despised Snoke’s lair for all the negativity he experienced there but knew the power that such a foreboding space held. The stark sterility of an officer’s space simply wasn’t appropriate for a Dark Sider but he still wasn’t comfortable stepping back into the place where he had slain Snoke and had been through so much with the old wretch. He was roused from his thoughts as General Phasma stepped into the room.

“Supreme Leader, I have the report from the reconnaissance mission to the Resistance base.”

“And, General?”

“They have indeed relocated. It would seem they started evacuation immediately after you and Lady Rey fled the facility.”

“General Organa is no fool. Our next priority will be expansion of our territory. We’ll do this first by proposing to a neutral planet an alignment with the First Order and if they refuse then we simply take them by force. Put together the necessary teams to accomplish this.”  Rey had been sitting quietly off to the side while Kylo and Phasma had their discussion. “Rey, do you have anything to add?” Kylo asked.

“Taking planets by force?” Rey asked.

“Yes,” Kylo replied.

“It was one thing to attack the Resistance. We’re at war with them. But attack neutral planets?”

“We have to expand our influence. If negotiations don’t work, then we take them by force. I thought you would be pleased that I’m offering negotiations first.” Kylo tried not to sound frustrated through his voice modulator. 

“If they wish to remain neutral, then they should be free to do so.”

“The First Order is not a democracy.”

“Perhaps it should be!”

“General, could you leave us for a moment?” Kylo motioned towards the door.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” General Phasma turned on her heel and left the room, sounding a bit relieved.

“Rey, I can’t have you challenging me like that in front of subordinates!” Kylo took his mask off and slammed it down on the desk.

“Then don’t ask me if I have anything to add!” She shouted. “You can’t go around the galaxy invading planets and subjecting them to tyranny!”

“Yes, I can and that’s what I intend to do! That’s what the First Order does. That’s what we’ve always done. We rule by force. What did you think you were getting into, Rey? Did you think you were going to come back here and change this into the New Republic, especially after the discussions we’ve had about the flaws with the New Republic and my views on it?”

“No, but that doesn’t mean you have to keep doing the same thing! Have you even considered that the way the First Order does things is wrong, that maybe some of the things the New Republic does is right?”

“The way Snoke did things was wrong. The way I will do things will be right.”

“But you’re doing things the same way! You’re forcing people into the First Order!”

“Sometimes people need to be told what is good for them. What about a planet where slavery is legal? The First Order doesn’t allow slavery. We will abolish that. Is it bad that we take over that planet and free those slaves? The New Republic would allow that neutral planet to continue on, turning a blind eye. Is that the right thing to do?”

Rey faltered. “I...I don’t know. If the First Order doesn’t allow slavery, why do they take children from their parents for the Stormtrooper program?”

Kylo sighed. “Because we need troops and we need them programmed from birth for loyalty. Why did the Jedi take children from parents at birth?”

“That was voluntary!”

“Was it? Was there no pressure put on them? Were they not told the Jedi could provide a better life? That it was their duty to the galaxy? Were those children given any more choice than our Stormtroopers? I thought you learned some things my grandfather’s journals.”  He paused. “Rey, you have a choice to make. You’re either with the First Order or you aren’t. Seeing as you chose to return here, I thought you made that choice.”

“I chose to be with you,” she said quietly.

“And I am the First Order. I am the Supreme Leader.” Rey didn’t answer. “We also need to speak of your position within the First Order.”

“My position?”

“Yes. You’re no longer a prisoner, as much as I never considered you one. We need to decide your future.”

“I could work in maintenance…”

“Are you serious?” Kylo interrupted her. “I should be training you. How can you even consider something as lowly as maintenance of any sort?”

“Training me? As in being your apprentice?”

“Yes, my apprentice. Your power shouldn’t go to waste. Let me train you, Rey.”

“I won’t use my power to subjugate others,” she crossed her arms defiantly.

“Everyone on this base already fears you. Don’t let that go to waste.” He paused. “I also want to initiate you into the Knights of Ren, after sufficient training.”

“The Knights of Ren? I...I need to be alone. I need to think,” Rey rubbed her hand across her forehead. “I’m going back to our quarters.”

“Alright. I’ll join you after I speak with Phasma about our next objective with the Resistance and our other priorities.”

Kylo watched her as she exited the office, running his hand through his hair. He hadn’t expected so much defiance from her upon their return. He actually hadn’t known what to expect from her. He had simply hoped she would fall in line with his running the First Order, but he should have known better than to expect that from Rey. As much as she might have disagreed with the treatment they received from the Resistance, she still agreed with their principles.

He picked up the data pad on his desk and reviewed the stats from the weapons factory that were dropped off earlier. Production was going as planned and delivery was on schedule. He grumbled and rubbed his eyes. Did Snoke worry about these things or did he leave them to subordinates?  This seemed to be the sort of thing Hux would have been interested in. He needed to meet with Phasma and work out delegating duties. He certainly had no interest in micromanaging the operation but he didn’t want to be as hands off as Snoke was, either. He wanted to be seen more than Snoke was, be more of a presence than the old being ever was. Kylo was roused by his thoughts by Phasma herself rushing in.

“Sir, there’s been an incident. You need to come quickly.”

“An incident?” Kylo rose from his seat.

“Yes, Lady Rey has assaulted an officer.”

_ “What?” _

“Just, come with me, Supreme Leader.”

He followed Phasma out and she led him to the hallway where they found Rey and several stormtroopers and an officer sitting on the floor, clutching at his throat and struggling to breathe.

“She tried to kill me!” the officer sputtered.

“Rey, what is going on?” Kylo asked, looking at her.

She glared at the officer. “He called me a Jedi whore under his breath as he walked by me.”

In his haste, Kylo has failed to put his mask on when leaving his office. His full anger was apparent on his face. “Lieutenant, is this true?”

The officer struggled to rise to his feet. “Well, uh, Supreme Leader, I…”

“ _I_ _ S THIS TRUE _ ?!” Kylo roared.

“Yes, yes, Supreme Leader,” the officer stammered, looking down at the floor.

Kylo looked at one of the stormtroopers. “Execute him.”

“Sir?” General Phasma asked.

“Execute him!” Kylo repeated.

The Stormtrooper raised his blaster, but not quickly enough for Kylo. He unclipped his lightsaber from his belt and ignited it, running it through the officer. He looked at the Stormtrooper. “The next time I give you an order, you follow it, or you’ll be next. Clean up this mess.” He looked at Rey. “To our quarters?” 

She only nodded in response and followed him. She remained wordless until they reached their quarters once inside, she spun to face him. “ _ What in the hell was that?” _

Kylo looked at her blankly. “What?”

“You just killed a man for no reason!”

Kylo huffed. “I had every reason. He insulted you. That will not be tolerated.”

“You can’t kill someone for insulting me!”   
  
“Rey, I don’t need a reason for killing someone. I’m the Supreme Leader.”

“This. This is why I won’t let you train me. I will not become...this.” She waved her hand up and down his form.

He crossed his arms. “Yet I’m supposed to believe you love me.”

“I...I do. But I can’t condone these actions. I can’t let you indiscriminately kill people for slighting me. People are going to have different opinions.”

“They can have their opinions. Voicing them is another story, especially directly disrespecting you. I will not tolerate that. Disrespecting you is disrespecting me and that will not stand.”

“But you can’t kill someone for it.”

“You Force choked the man!” Kylo exclaimed.

“I didn’t kill him! I stopped myself. I controlled my anger before it got out of control. I should have never started. I’m ashamed at myself for even losing control in the first place. I had no right to do that,” she looked down at the floor. “I’m fairly sure that he learned his lesson just from that.”

“But did others learn anything from it? I guarantee a lesson will be learned from my actions.”

“Kylo,” she sighed. There was no calling him Ben in this instance. She was certain she saw a faint glimmer of a smile when she called him Kylo. “I still need to be alone.”

He stepped towards her and placed his hands on her face. “Everything I do, I do for you.”

“Why is that so frightening now?” Rey felt a chill run down her spine.

“Don’t be frightened,” he ran his thumb across her cheek. “You’ve only see my power restrained. I’m without limitations now. Snoke no longer controls me, the Resistance will not put me in chains. Nothing can stop me now.”

“I don’t know if this is what I want,” she whispered.

“Do you want me?” he asked, looking into her eyes, their lips almost touching.

“Yes,” her voice was barely audible.

“Then this is what you must accept,” his lips brushed across hers. “I told you before. I am not a good man. I am of the Dark Side. Ben Solo is dead. You think you see glimpses of him and maybe you do in my love for you but that’s the only place you’ll see him. If you’re in love with Ben Solo, you’re going to end up with a broken heart.”

“I’m in love with the man that protected me even though I was a prisoner and killed Snoke despite the odds.”

“That man is Kylo Ren, Rey. I killed Snoke for you, for your protection but I also killed him for us. To make the First Order ours. I told you that from the beginning, from the moment I collapsed at your feet after killing the bastard. You didn’t want that...I even tried giving it all up for you. Everything I do, I do for you,” he repeated. “Yet it’s still never enough.” He dropped his hands from her face. “What more do you want from me?”

“I...I didn’t expect things to be so...harsh. I don’t know. I don’t know what to think. Or to expect. I just need time to adjust I guess. I don’t know.” She sounded exasperated. “I’m surrounded by war. The First Order, the Resistance, my heart, my mind, the Light, the Dark. It’s too much.”

“You have time to straighten your thoughts. You’re safe here.”

“Am I?”

Kylo’s face turned dark. “Of course you are. No one would dare harm you. Words are one thing and that has been dealt with. If you’re concerned, you can stay here or with me at all times.”

“A prisoner again.”

“Only of your own fears. Your own actions against that officer will spread. Given your killing of Hux, I was shocked to hear anyone said anything in your direction. Rey,” he took her hands in his. “You walk these halls under my authority. Act like it.” She only nodded in response. He leaned in and kissed her softly. “I tried to take you home, now let me make this home and give you the galaxy.” She said nothing as she watched him leave.

* * *

  
Kylo Ren and the Knights of Ren were seated in a room adjacent to their training area following an intense training session. “But there’s always been eight Knights of Ren,” Altania Ren protested. “Ever since the beginning of the Knights of Ren. Eight. No more, no less, including the Master Knight.”

“I propose that changes,” Kylo Ren stated. “As the Master Knight of Ren, I can change things as I see fit.”

“But why?” Jaxion Ren demanded. 

“Rey is an extremely powerful Force user and competent warrior. Once she is trained, she will be a valuable asset to us. I think she will function better as a Knight of Ren rather than a tenant of the First Order. She doesn’t fit with the First Order. She will be better served as a Knight of Ren.”

“I propose she remains in your bed where she fucking belongs,” Jaxion snarled.

Kylo stood and ignited his lightsaber, pointing it at Jaxion’s throat. “I killed a man for saying less yesterday, Jaxion. Do not test me.”

“Does the truth hurt, Master Knight?” Jaxion stood, almost matching Kylo in height. “Why should we change tradition, accept change, induct another Knight simple because you are fucking her?”

Kylo’s lightsaber now pointed at Jaxion’s heart. “I should kill you where you stand.” Kylo’s voice seethed with rage.

Rylan Ren stood and placed his hand on Kylo’s arm. “Steady, Master Knight. This is not the way to replace a Knight.”

Kylo’s lightsaber remained pointed at Jaxion. “I am not only the Master Knight of Ren but the Supreme Leader of the First Order and my decision will stand.”

“The Supreme Leader never had power over the Knights of Ren before,” Jaxion spat.

“He didn’t?” Kylo challenged. “Then who sent us on our missions? Who did we operate under?”

“We operated under you, our Master Knight, who we  _ trusted _ ,” he responded.

“Trusted?” Kylo countered.

“Your judgement is clouded by this  _ girl _ ,” Jaxion’s lip curled at the word.

“Do you speak for all the Knights or just yourself?” Kylo’s lightsaber was still pointed at Jaxion.

He glanced around at the others. “I do not know.”

Kylo looked around at them all. “Do any of you have anything to say?” He swung his lightsaber around in a circle. He received no response and a few looked down at the floor.  “Then this matter is settled. When Rey completes her training, she will be inducted as a Knight of Ren.” He switched off his lightsaber. “This meeting is over. Continue training. I have matters to attend to as Supreme Leader.” He clipped his lightsaber to his belt and left the room, Jaxion staring daggers into his back as he left.

“He’s going to get us all killed over that bitch,” he growled.

* * *

Kylo Ren sat the desk in General Hux’s former office, his office, he supposed. He and Rey had been back with the First Order for a month and there had been no activity from the Resistance since then. Nothing. No movement, no indication of rebuilding a new base, nothing. On the other hand, there had been little activity from the First Order. Given Rey’s protest regarding aggression, he had done nothing on those orders, listening to her concerns. He balled his hand into a fist and put it into his other. Perhaps she was clouding his judgment on at least some things. He had been hesitant to act since she had spoke up in his office that last time.  He pressed the button on his comm link. “General Phasma.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“Are you available to give me a report on what our Resistance spies have reported in?”

“Yes, sir. Shall I come to your office immediately?”

“Yes, General.”

“Right away, Supreme Leader.” General Phasma arrived momentarily in his office, datapad in hand. “I hope I didn’t make you wait too long, Supreme Leader.”

“Prompt, as always, General. First, what is the status of General Organa? Is she still in command?” He couldn’t help but be curious as to the status of his mother and what happened to her after letting him and Rey escape.

“She was demoted but is still in an advisory position. Given her extensive experience and knowledge, they knew she was too valuable to completely expel from the Resistance. However, given her obvious emotional attachment to you and presumably Rey, she was relieved of command.”

Kylo nodded. “Not a surprise. We know they evacuated their previous base. Do we have any intelligence of their new location?”

Phasma shook her head. “We’ve heard rumor of a few locations on the Outer Rim, but so far our spies haven’t been able to pin down any concrete location. Operations seem to be spread out among numerous small bases among the Inner and Outer rims, maybe even a few Core locations. We’re just not sure. There’s not enough of a concentration of equipment in any one location to constitute a base of any sort.”

“Where are the commanders located? There has to be some sort of centralized location…” He trailed off. “Or does there? Not necessarily. They could be running as separate cells, much like the Rebellion of old, against the Empire, in the beginning.” His mind ran back to his studies of the Empire and the Rebellion and the loose affiliations the Rebellion had in the origins of the movement.

“There’s word that they are afraid of centralizing their forces because they fear the power of you and Rey combined. They fear being totally destroyed and centralizing could bring that down upon them.”

Kylo lightly laughed. The didn’t fear the First Order. They feared the Dark Side. It wasn’t the TIE fighters or the ground forces of the First Order they feared but the power they he and Rey held. “So we have them on the defensive?”

“It seems so, sir. To the point of paralyzation.” 

“Then we need to act.”

“I agree, Supreme Leader. Our own forces grow restless at our...inactivity.”

“Oh?”

Phasma shifted uncomfortably. “May I speak freely, sir?”

“Of course.”

“There were hopes that you would be more aggressive than Snoke. So far that hasn’t happened.”

“It’s only been a few weeks. These things take some time. There’s a period of transition.”

“I as well as other officers understand that but lower ranking troopers aren’t as astute. They want action. It’s what they’re trained for. I’m sure you understand, Supreme Leader.”

“Yes, yes, I suppose.” This is where he needed to rely on her expertise and knowledge of her troops as he truly didn’t have much insight on the thoughts of the average First Order Stormtrooper. “Though upon approaching new systems, we may not encounter much resistance to joining the First Order. The troops may not find the action they are seeking.”

“Deployment is better than nothing, sir. They grow restless remaining here at the base repeating training exercises.”

“Make preparations for a delegation and a regiment to head to the nearest neutral system. If they can’t be persuaded by the delegation to join the First Order then perhaps the regiment will convince them. It seems the Resistance is too spread out and ineffective currently to be of any threat until we have already secured the system. We’ll force them out of hiding.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader. I will make the necessary preparations. Anything else, sir?”

“No, we’ll meet again before the invasion to cover details and then after to review the results. You’re dismissed until then.”

“Yes, sir,” Phasma turned and left the office.

* * *

“Report, Mitaka.”

Captain Mitaka shifted uncomfortably as he stood before Kylo Ren. There were several other officers in the room, virtual maps displayed on console screens with a conference table in the middle. Datapads littered the table as the officers discussed the situation on Phindar and the strategy for the First Order following victory from there. It was in close proximity to Mandalore, making it a bold move for the First Order, but Mandalore had managed to re-establish neutrality following the collapse of the Empire. It was nowhere near the strength it was during the Clone Wars, but it wasn’t a challenge Kylo was prepared to take on so early in his new reign. That would come later.

“Mitaka?” Kylo repeated.

“Supreme Leader,” Mitaka started, his voice wavering. “Our occupation of Phindar was...unsuccessful.” His statement hung in the air as the room grew quiet.

“What?” Kylo said, his voice a growl through his modulator.

Rey rose from her chair in the corner of the room. “Occupation?”

“When we arrived on Phindar, we were immediately met with a small delegation from the government. We landed just outside of their capital city, still an urban area but with enough room to land the ships. An easy march in from there to occupy the capital building and install the delegates as the new government leaders. They declared on no uncertain terms that they would be maintaining neutrality, having no interest in the First Order, the New Republic or the conflict between the two. Our delegation informed them, as per your order, there would be no choice in the matter. Joining the First Order would be compulsory and welcome to the regime.”

“Compulsory? This was an invasion,” Rey seethed.

“Not now, Rey,” Kylo snarled at her. “Mitaka, continue.”

“The Phindarians produced blasters, at which our delegation then ordered the battalion to deploy. It was at this point that what we assume Resistance fighters appeared and began firing on our troops.”

“Resistance? They’re a neutral planet!” Kylo roared.

“Our delegation was executed by the Phindarian delegation. Upon the order to deploy the battalion, the Phindarians fired and joined with the Resistance fighters. It’s unsure at this point if they were truly diplomats at all given their lack of hesitance to kill our delegation.”

“And our troops?”

“We lost nearly half.”

Kylo bellowed in rage, producing his lightsaber and destroying the table in the room. The durasteel melted and bent under the heat of the saber and the table became nothing but a pile of twisted metal and a small fire as the officers stood back from Kylo’s temper with Rey stepping forward, the only one brave enough to come close.  

“You invaded a neutral planet! I thought we discussed this!”

“ _ NOT NOW, REY!”  _ he shouted at her, pushing her back with just his voice. “ _ Not now, not here! _ ”

She took a few steps back from him, not used to his temper being directed at her. She could always calm him, but she had taken an aggressive stance with him. “Kylo, calm down. It’s just one loss…”

He cut her off. “It’s a loss we can not afford. And do not try to placate me here. Not now, not here,” he repeated. “Mitaka, do you have anything else?”

“No, Supreme Leader. I would only offer an observation, if I may,” his voice wavered.

“Yes?” Kylo hissed.

“It seems as if they knew we were coming.” Mitaka flinched as he waiting for a reaction to his statement.

Kylo remained silent for a moment.  “We have spies among us.”

“Perhaps so, Supreme Leader.”

“Make finding them a priority. I want them brought to me as soon as they are discovered. There will be an assembly. There will be executions. By me personally. Everyone will see that treason will not be tolerated or taken lightly.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

“But, Kylo,” Rey said. “You have to have trials, you…”

“Rey, I’m taking my leave. Come with me.” He gave her no option otherwise. He looked around the room and left without saying anything.

Rey struggled to keep up with him as he quickly made his way to his office. He used the Force to slam the automatic doors open, taking no heed to the hydraulics or if they would be damaged. He took his helmet off and threw it across the room, crashing it into a set of shelves left there by his predecessor. He went to the desk and slammed his fist down on it, over and over until he couldn’t feel his knuckles, screaming in rage as he did so.

“Kylo…”

He turned and pointed at her. “Don’t say anything.”

“What? You’re…”

“I said Don’t. Say. Anything.” He accented each word. “You are making me look like a fool.”

Rey snorted. “I think you are doing that just fine one your own.”

Kylo roared and punched the desk again. “You keep questioning me in front of subordinates. You keep challenging me in front of my lessers. I can’t have you doing that. Then you try to pity me in front of them?”

“I wasn’t trying to  _ pity  _ you. I was trying to calm you down! You were making an idiot of yourself in there by losing your temper!”

“You’re making me look weak!”

“You’re making yourself look weak!” She countered.

“Rey, I am the Supreme Leader. You have to accept this.”

“So I am your subordinate?”

“I’m not saying that. What I’m saying is that you need to respect it in front of others. If you question me, others will start to question me. I can’t effectively lead if people question me.”

“Maybe you should be questioned. You’re going to execute people without a fair trial. What if you are brought innocent people?”

“Innocent spies?” He spat.

“No, the wrong people. That aren’t the spies. What if you’re brought people that are loyal to the First Order, that aren’t spies and you execute them and they’ve done no wrong?”

“If a thorough investigation is done, there is no issue. I have full faith in my officers.”

Rey sighed. “People make mistakes. Kylo, you can’t indiscriminately execute people.”

“Rey, here’s the difference between you and I,” he walked over to her and stood in front of her. “I have. I can and will. You’re trying to reason with a murderer. It’s nothing I haven’t done before and I’ll do it again. Sacrifices need to be made. I will stop at nothing to further to the First Order. Get that through your head.”

“You’re just angry…”

“You’re right. I’m angry. I’m always angry. It’s who I am. It’s the Dark Side, Rey. This is what I do. This is what I was doing when I wasn’t with you before. What did you think I was doing when we weren’t together? I was out on missions, doing things you don’t even want to consider.”

“I don’t have to accept this.”

“Maybe not, but you have to accept that you’re part of this. You chose this. You don’t have to be an active part. You don’t have to participate. You want to just sit back and watch? Fine. But let me do my job. Don’t try to usurp me. I don’t need a coup from the woman I love.”

“I’m not trying to overthrow you!”

“You’re giving ammunition to those who might. Consider your actions in front of others.” He walked away from her, gathered his helmet and put it on. “There is much work to be done. Perhaps it is best if we are apart while I try to repair this disaster.” Rey could only nod as she watched him leave the room.


End file.
